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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours behaviour

35 replies

Dobbythesockelf · 03/04/2018 16:23

About 2 years ago a man moved into the house next door. He is late 20's, lives alone, seemed quiet, we didn't think much about it. 8 months later we started having some trouble. He would knock on doors late at night, we would hear him shouting even though he lives alone, he would set up a punching bag outside at 1am. He then walked into one of our neighbours houses and an altercation occurred.
His behaviour escalated from there, we would come home to find him crouching on the floor outside his door with a bat, he would wander up and down the street shouting late at night, police were called numerous times. He then started to focus his attention on me, he would wait until my dh went to work then knock on my door, sometimes dressed in drag, sometimes ask me round for a drink. When I asked him to stop as I had a young baby he started to get aggressive. He would come round to tell me he was going to kill my cats if they went in his garden, they weren't my cats btw. Last year he was on a bus at the same time as me and sat behind me talking about how we were all out to get him, swearing etc. I ended up in tears and he was thrown off the bus. I havnt seen him since.
Today I had to go to town but had no car so was on the bus again with my dd, I am also 6 months pregnant. Once again he got on, sat near me and started muttering and swearing. He then started shouting that his neighbours had cut his electric line and he was gonna kill the fuckers.
We know he has some mental health issues and social services are involved after he punched his mum. I have contacted the police again. When it's written down it all seems a bit silly but he's massive and quite intimidating, he only ever does anything when I'm alone or with my dd. It's starting to really get to me now. So wibu to contact the police again?

OP posts:
isadoradancing123 · 03/04/2018 19:27

He may have come off his medication, if he is on any, it is very scary for you and your child, keep ringing the police and log everything he says that is unacceptable

willynillypie · 03/04/2018 19:41

Unfortunately it is very unlikely that the police will help you - I have just moved away from a similar situation with a known mentally unstable neighbour. Social services KNEW she was unhinged and not taking medication and I went through all the proper channels re the police and harassment warnings (also the council as she was a council tenant and I thought they could help). The upshot was 0 help, 0 results. The best she got was given the harassment warning and a letter from the council. The issue is if he refutes your claims it becomes "your word against his", even with witnesses. It's a very crappy situation to be in and yours sounds even worse and more terrifying - any chance that you can move?

Dobbythesockelf · 03/04/2018 19:49

Our house is currently up for sale although not for this reason, we just need a bigger house. He can be fine for a couple of months and then he starts again which could be if he stops taking medication I suppose. My friend is a mental health nurse and he says that the problem is that he never crosses the line to violence so the police can't do very much. He rents his house but it is a private let so I doubt the landlord will care about his behaviour.

OP posts:
FranticallyPeaceful · 03/04/2018 19:59

Definitely call the police, hopefully he will be referred to a mental health team

willynillypie · 03/04/2018 20:01

The good news is you are leaving! I wanted to stay initially out of principle but it ends up eating away at you and creating a constant sense of unease and tension. There just aren't the MH resources in this country anymore, and as you say unless he does something physical...

Cheeseislife · 03/04/2018 20:07

Sorry but I find it atrocious you want to find an easy way out protecting the sale of your house without even trying to speak to the landlord. This could be another poor woman on here in a year's time because you were too selfish to flag it up to the one person who actually could remove him from the place he's in with legal recourse.

Dobbythesockelf · 03/04/2018 20:15

I'd have to find out who the landlord is first tbh.

OP posts:
willynillypie · 03/04/2018 20:20

It's a good point though - I think you are legally obligated to warn new buyers about his behaviour as well.

Dobbythesockelf · 03/04/2018 20:24

Oh I know that I have been informed by my solicitor, that I will need to tell any buyers what has been going on. I dunno if the landlord would do anything as he obviously pays his rent etc. I am not completely selfish I will inform any buyer of the situation, like I said we were planning on moving anyway. We need more space and less of a commute to work.

OP posts:
Cheeseislife · 03/04/2018 23:15

Land registry, about £3 to get the name and address of the landlord.

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