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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbouring houses too close for comfort!

23 replies

Tempanon · 03/04/2018 16:04

Not really an AIBU, more a question as to whether anyone has had similar experience or advice..
We live in an old house, part of a row of original mid 1800s houses, that had part of their gardens sold off in the 60s/70s, for another row of houses to be built behind. When we moved in a few years ago, our immediate rear neighbour was an old lady who had a small but mature garden with a well tended tree and hedge, and the neighbour adjacent to her, is at an angle facing towards our house too, was owned by a couple who had a similarly well tended garden. In short, we all had enough privacy, in spite of our tiny gardens & close proximity to one another. Last year the first property opposite, was bought by a man who has since let the garden descend into a really shabby state. He has mechanical equipment thrown on top of our shared shed roof, which is an eyesore looking out of our bedroom window. Now, worse than that, we arrived home one day last week, to find he had completely hacked the lovely tree that had branched over and provided privacy from all the back windows that face us. It now looks a mess! And to top it all, the second house facing us, has just built an extension, with large kitchen sliding doors, such that now, we can see directly into their downstairs & upstairs living space, and they can see right into ours! I wandered into my shower this morning, half covered with a towel, and looked up to see their son waving at me with a big smile on his face! My daughter has also been caught naked getting dressed in the morning, as she was always able to open her blinds freely. It feels so horrendously intrusive, and even if we wanted to move, nobody would entertain what we now see from our rear view windows! From where I am sitting writing this, both neighbours upstairs windows are facing directly down onto me, so close, that we can make eye contact! The neighbours kids are obviously finding it amusing, and keep trying to get our attention by waving at us, but we are certainly not. Has anyone had this issue with their home? Short of having permanent blinds, or planting a large tree in the tiny patch of green we have..and I mean tiny...I am at a loss as to what to do.

OP posts:
TreesAgreen · 03/04/2018 16:10

Fuck um buy some leylandii, otherwise there is nothing else you can do.

Neighbouring houses too close for comfort!
Tempanon · 03/04/2018 16:12

Thank you..that made me laugh Grin

OP posts:
Tempanon · 03/04/2018 16:13

Trouble is..it would practically be outside our window..garden really is that small!

OP posts:
MeanTangerine · 03/04/2018 16:14

One-way window film?

duffaho · 03/04/2018 16:16

As a temporary measure could you obscure the windows with film .That way there shouldnt be any chance of being gawped at while in a state of undress.

loveka · 03/04/2018 16:18

I am in the same position. I now don't want to go out in my garden half the time as I can see directly into my neighbours kitchen.

I have planted bamboo in huge pots. I have also planted willow along the boundary. The willow grows fast and tall and is a good screen.

I am moving though. I can't sell in the current climate so I have decided to rent it out. Can't stand seeing and hearing these people so much!

liquidrevolution · 03/04/2018 16:20

What kind of windows do you have? If sash style you could maybe put film on the lower half. Will let light in but keep your privacy. Otherwise indoor shutters or slat style blinds.

TreesAgreen · 03/04/2018 16:23

Still be better then looking at your neighbours, and if there was a big tree there before.....

We had a tiny garden in our first house, the previous owners had planted them, if they weren't there we would have been face to face with at least 4 neighbours, as our 2 streets were at odd angles to each other.

Leylandii get a bad rep, but if you like privacy they give it in bucket loads.

Travis1 · 03/04/2018 16:26

6ft fence?

MumofBoysx2 · 03/04/2018 16:32

I don't think there is much you can do, with the houses so close - blinds seem the best way to get privacy.

spontaneousgiventime · 03/04/2018 16:41

My bedroom is at the front and I live in a bungalow, so, anyone walking past could see in. I have blinds and voiles. I have the blinds open all day but the voiles stop people being able to see in. Would that work for you?

Yumyumpigs · 03/04/2018 16:44

I'd certainly drop a note in and ask their children to pack it in!

SpringNowPlease2018 · 03/04/2018 16:45

You need that window film that people can't see in
But be aware, it becomes transparent again when you switch lights on. So have it for daytime, then pull the curtains or blinds when you put lights on

I feel for you, I really do.

Yumyumpigs · 03/04/2018 16:45

*while growing something tall/slim!

Smileyeyes68 · 03/04/2018 16:45

Are you sure they have the correct planning permission for the extension? I thought there were some restictions on the position of windows if it interfered with the privacy of neighbouring properties?

Latenightreader · 03/04/2018 16:51

There are strict distance rules between windows so it might be worth checking that they had planning permission. Of course the distances that are laid down feel too short when you are used to more privacy...

High bamboo fencing?

Motoko · 03/04/2018 16:58

Put voiles or nets up at the windows, and if your bathroom window doesn't have frosted/obscure glass, get some film put on it.

ElizabethAllen · 03/04/2018 17:04

any of these

villageshop · 03/04/2018 17:15

I feel for you, OP. We are moving because of exactly those issues.

Could you possibly move to somewhere with a private garden? From what you've said it would take years to re-establish the sort of screening you were used to and while Leylandii might eventually help with that it also spreads inwards into your garden (I think the existing trees were in your neighbours garden?) and would block your light and become a huge problem to maintain. Also nothing much else would grow nearby as the roots suck all the goodness and moisture from the soil.

We have permanently semi-closed wood venetian blinds on the landing and hall which works well. Before that I couldn't cross the landing in a towel after a bath and in our bedroom I keep the curtains closed all the time or else I am on full show while getting dressed (huge windows, too wide for off she shelf blinds).

Window film is another option I considered. I have thick nets at the back (yuk).

We came from a very private large garden in a village and downsized to an urban semi with other semis backing on to our garden - there was nothing much on the market at the time and it was the best we could find. I thought I would get used to it and the garden is edged all round with trees so at the time of viewing it did seem quite sheltered.

However, in winter we are completely exposed and in the summer can't enjoy being in the garden because where we have to sit to get any sun we are elbows width across the fence from where our neighbours sit so we end up whispering.

And the trees needed drastic pruning and next door chopped theirs down so even when ours are in leaf now we are mainly exposed to all the surrounding windows. It feels like lots of sets of eyes on me, I can't stand it.

And now people nearby are putting 2 storey extensions up and huge dormers above creating a 3rd floor. It's only a matter of time that our immediate neighbours do the same.

We spent the last 2 years planting screening and building pergolas / sheds / gazebo but none of it really made much difference - this garden will never be the safe private haven I want so we are moving back to near our old village in a detached bungalow. Can't wait.

clarrylove · 03/04/2018 17:18

Did you object to the development?

Tinkobell · 03/04/2018 17:19

Bamboo (clump forming phyllostachys) is very good and can be bought high ...it breaks the view v well. Other tall trees might be a row of silver birches. Our bedroom overlooks our neighbour's bedroom. We'd have some nice linen voiles from Habitat.....they let all the light in but no one can see through from the other side.
If the kid waves at you again....do a mooney!!!

Tempanon · 03/04/2018 22:51

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. Although I might have to brave up for the mooney one Smile

OP posts:
SpringNowPlease2018 · 04/04/2018 11:02

don't do a moony
they'll probably think it's part of neighbourly relations and start doing it as a daily thing!

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