My SIL

[Beckyd1]

Okay im being unreasonable i no and yes i will get flamed but i dont care i need to vent. She is dh brothers wife.
She lives with mil. With her kids, her dh mil, fil, and dh younger brother also.
She constantly messages me cussing MIL. who doesnt speak to me and wont accept my relationship with dh. Even though its been 12 years and 3 kids later. But whatever. She dont see my children either. But she constantly moans about MIL but then whenever she is in MIL company licks her fuckin arse. She buys toys for 'visitors' and whenever they have a child go 4ound she gives them a toy. Or she will bring a toy round for my child. And sweets for the other 2. She cant do no wrong say no wrong and everyone kisses her fucking arse. She messages me constantly slagging off her husband sayin hes lazy spends all day in bed is on coke etcetc but then to his face and everyones face acts like am angel. Iv showed dh my messages and he just says il speak to her she cant be saying them things but he NEVER does. So i suppose my aibu is... can i block this angelic bitch and pretend i have no idea who she or any of the family is when i pass them in the street?

I think blocking is the sensible thing to do.
If she says anything, just say as you already have a strained relationship with the family you are taking a step back at dhs request. Then he can deal with all that rubbish.

She's a moaner, but I don't see how that makes her a Bitch, tbh.

I would have said that i was sick of the negativity a long time ago, which I have done. After that, I'm not bothered if the person has nothing else to say to me.

But yes, block her.

But shes not just a moaner. Shes false. And always lies.. her dh being on coke for example. He really isnt.

Do you know him well enough to know he isn't? That's for your DH to sort out. I wouldn't have a Sibling have false drug allegations made against them.

But surely if you listen to her say all this then don’t say anything to her about her two faced ways..... that’s also makes you two faced?

When did being polite to someone make you "false". We all have people we don't get along with and have to vent sometimes: just because we don't vent to their faces doesn't make us "angelic bitches".

You're her person to off-load on. If that's not the position you want to be in then you need to tell her that you aren't comfortable with that.

But she's not doing anything wrong per se. We all offload to our friends/partners/relatives about people who are annoying us and then pull it together and are nice to their face. If people didn't do that there would be a load more needless conflict

She cant do no wrong say no wrong and everyone kisses her fucking arse. Is this what the problem is? Because you sound quite resentful and I'm wondering whether it's because your mil has welcomed her into her home but won't accept you? If it's not that, then I'm not quite sure why you're feeling so much dislike for her.

She probably does dislike your mil, but she can hardly make it obvious if she's living in your mil's home. Perhaps she thinks of you as a friendly, listening ear where she can blow off steam without making herself homeless in the process.

And why on earth are you getting worked up about her buying toys for visiting children? Ok, it's a bit excessive, but it's not as though she's causing any harm.

Re the lazy, drug taking husband, he's her husband; she'll be the one who knows how much time he spends in bed and if he's sniffing things he shouldn't be sniffing. And if she's making it all up, and your DH can't be bothered to tell his brother, then that's between them. If it's making you feel uncomfortable, then tell her that and ask her to stop. But unless there's some massive backstory, calling her an angelic bitch seems a bit of an over reaction.

Maybe it is because im not accepted and my children are over looked. I duno. Maybe im resentful. Its possible. But i duno why should i be this womans friend and listen to her when all she does is moan about those around her. Asks how my kids are etc to me then completely disregards them infront of mil and the rest of the family?

But you can see the person you’d have to become to be accepted by MIL OP. Would you rather be accepted or be true to yourself? Block her if you want but I think your best best would be to stop trusting her. Because if you MIL can’t trust her then neither can you

I'm confused. In your op you say she brings toys and sweets for your dc and then later say that she completely disregards them?

We all need to vent sometimes and she trusts you to be her soundboard. If you dont want to be then just don't feed into it. What do you say to her when she says these things to you about your mum and bil?