Apologies on both counts - for the name change and the MIL thread...
DH and I have been TTC for 4 years, we coped reasonably well until about a year ago and I am only just about able to keep my head above water and get my job done and persevere with endless treatment.
Both sets of parents live locally (my parents twenty mins away, his are 30 mins away). We moved to the area to buy a house and be close to family. We're very happy here, all good on that front. When I met DH 12 years ago I always made a huge effort with his family and got on with them. They're pleasant but you never scratch below the surface. In all this time we have never created any 'memories', funny sayings or anything. The stuff which makes families 'families', if that makes sense?
Fast forward...life has been extremely hard. I always thought his family were distant but always put it down to us being young and them leaving us to it. When we moved down, I had them over for lunches, dinners, bbqs you name it. I am so lucky to have the most wonderful relationship with my parents (DH actively chooses to spend time alone with my Dad and brother for example) and they have been invaluable over the past few years and have kept us sane. They feel this like we do and are desperate for us to finally get our baby.
I started to find it odd that they never showed an interest in something that is extremely painful so I tried to involve her by keeping her up to date. In the meantime, they have bought a flat for DH's brother (mil has been married to his stepdad since DH was 4) using inheritance money. We've never had a penny from them (not that I expect it). I've had three surgeries this year and she has never once enquire as to how I am. I lost a baby in November and it has never been mentioned. She told DH that she "won't mention it to stepdad" why, I wonder?!!!
They don't have any problems, always on holiday and life is quite calm for them. We will be having another ivf attempt next month and when DH spoke to her last week she said she's happy to chip in £100. Don't bother. They are very well off and I find that insulting. Besides, we have paid for this ourselves.
WWYD? I don't want to cause trouble (these are his parents and I want to be respectful) but where do you draw the line and expect more from people? Surely this isn't normal. I feel sorry for DH, he is the kindest, most generous man but I wish he got more from them.