Should I tell her....

[notagain123456]

Hi, this will be long and i will try not to out myself.

My friend has been with her husband a long time, back at the beginning he beat her up whilst he was high on coke.

She was pregnant and forgave him in the end and he said he would never do coke again. I stood by her decision even though i didnt agree i never let it affect how i was with him because she didnt want me to. There has been numerous issues in between which i wont go into but lots of big issues in the relationship all of which could have caused divorce but she has stood by him.

Heres the thing, he was taking cocaine at my wedding last year, he did it in front of my husband (who is extremely anti drugs), he has also done it on one other occasion in front of my husband and has talked about it (hinting ) in front of me.
my friend has no clue and he even openly says how against it he is (which is very frustrating) i think he knows i know and wants me to say something.

i am in a very difficult situation as i know this would end the relationship.
The reason i am asking now and didnt say anything at the time is we have spent quite a bit of time with them lately and he was goading me and trying to cause arguments, and im not sure why and my friend has only just told me one of the big issues that they have. knowing what i know on top of this makes me feel i should tell her. I also itch at the thought of spending time with them now but shes been my best friend since day dot.

Ive been in a position before where i spoke up and people turned on me so i have said i wouldnt speak up in future.

if she wont be mad at you just tell her what she chooses to do is up to her

you say there are other thins going on maybe its more than just the drugs he could be abusing her

I’d still tell her what your DH saw, but that’s because of my personal experience around cocaine. You can’t always make sure people do the right thing, but for me telling her that you have direct evidence that he’s still using is the right thing to do.

You can make it clear that you don’t want to cut her off and you don’t want her to become isolated and your dilemma about telling her for that reason, but I’d still tell her. It’s up to her what she does or doesn’t do then.

Absolutely tell her. She needs to get her self and her baby away from this monster.
Make no mistake if he beat her up once due to being high on cocaine. He'll do it again

I expect you’ll get ‘but it was a party, a one off’ he’s already set up ‘it’s no worse than drinking’ etc, even so.

When you say it 'will end the relationship' if you tell her,do you mean your relationship with her? Or her relationship with her husband?