to feel anxious, worried and need a hand hold.

[SaySomethingggg]

Long story short: I requested a change to work hours reducing from 8.30-5 Mon to Fri to 930-530 Monday to Thursday from Sept to accommodate for childcare as my son starts school.

I requested this on 19 March. My own boss provisionally approved this, his boss, who doesnt have much to do with our business, has said no. My own boss has said since last Monday he will speak to his boss (based in another town), explaining why it's not an issue and why it should be approved. Including that the business will likely lose me if it cannot be accommodated.

I have still heard nothing. I chased it up last Thurs to be told they hadn't spoken and would catch up today/tomorrow. I asked my boss today is he speaking with his boss and he said "Who knows. I have a few outstanding things with him so will just wait and see"

I feel physically sick, worrying about it. I'd rather an outright yes or no. I am currently looking for another job just incase this falls through s I cannot b in two places at once. And if I'm honest, the whole experience has made me doubt I even want to remain here after 6 years.

Our company policy states that following the meeting between line manager and employee, there must be a decision within 14 days. This has now passed.

All I am doing sat at work is worrying about this and I just want to go home and get signed off or something. The 4 day weekend was great and whilst I did think about the situation, it was somewhat alleviated by not being here.

If anyone has any advice, or kind words, I'd appreciate them. This decision makes an impact on my husband too as if this cannot be accommodated he will also need to drastically change his work hours so whilst to some it may not seem important, it's a huge thing for us as a family.

I hope you get the answer soon. Has your dh also requested the change to his hours or are you waiting to see what comes back on your request first?

StealthPolarBear In short, yes. DH's work have agreed him keeping only his contracted hours and losing 2 hours a day overtime. He will work 8-2 to allow for collection. Some shifts will also be 6-2. The issue arises if my work cant start at 930.

Would a breakfast club or childminder be an option?

I think that whilst you must remember its a huge massive thing for you, for both your boss and his boss, it’s just another item on the To Do list. And just after a 4-day weekend there will be a few of those.

The 14 days is to get a response, I think? You got a response - unfortunately not the one you wanted- and now it’s back with them for discussion.

I know it’s easier said than fine, but try not to worry unduly. From their perspective there’s a long time between now and September so it’s not urgent to them. Try to tell yourself that too - you have plenty of time.

Also your boss sounds supportive which is great, so don’t let it colour your experience of the company just yet.

Do you usually feel anxious about things?

So, that’s only 0.5 hours a day less?

Do you have an hour’s lunch break?

If yes, and if your boss is happy to accommodate (and you don’t get the request formally signed off), would your boss agree to informally changing your pattern of working to the hours you want, but reducing lunch break to 30mins, so working the same number of hours overall, just different timings?

Well plus one full non work day I think

reducing from 8.30-5 Mon to Fri to 930-530 Monday to Thursday from Sept

It’s half an hour less Mon-Thurs and dropping Friday entirely.

NoSquirrels The "answer" was only because I asked my manager what the progress was. So not a formal answer and nothing in writing. The policy states it must be in writing and in 14 days, with reasons for the refusal, if applicable. Why bother to state that in a policy then not adhere to it?

I have already been open and honest and said if they cannot accommodate this request that I will have to look elsewhere.

I suffer from anxiety and depression but this has been managed for a long time with the odd anxious spell about things. This is making my heart palpate, and me feel very jittery and nauseous.

Stealth It will likely have to be. Otherwise DH would only be working say 10-2 and I doubt his company can accommodate that.

I know they say we can't be choosers and all of that. The whole idea was to give me a break. I also suffer from ME and lately, I have discovered myself suffering from exhaustion from the 5 day week.

Yes NoSquirrels It's a total of 7 hours. I will only take 30 mins lunch. There are others to deal with any work in my absence which has been the case for 6 years when I have been on holiday or ill.

I see - fair enough. It is annoying they’ve not stuck to written policy.

I think if they can’t help you with a later start or dropping one whole day you’d need to ask for either the shortened hours M-F or a 4 day week on ‘normal’ hours.

I’m sure there will be a way. Breakfast club or a childminder is OK for mornings. It’s great you’ve got after school sorted as that’s the most tiring for reception age I think.

Ah, sorry. Missed that bit.

I sympathise, OP. I put in a flex work request which took over 6 weeks to conclude. Huge personal/family impact.

Very stressful indeed - but nothing you can do but wait.

I think you need to take a step back and try to stop focusing on it so much.

You've done well to give so much notice but it is still 5 months away and it's likely they have more urgent matters to deal with first.

Although technically their policy isn't being adhered to, I really wouldn't create a fuss over it or you might find yourself with a blanket no for no other reason than being a PITA.

It's my own... rigidity I suppose. Why have a policy then not bother to stick to it.

The boss' boss is rejecting no cover for 30 minutes in a morning, plus a full day. Unlikely he will accept a full day alone.

I feel so unenthused for staying here. I really feel like they don't give a shit.

I am tired. I am tired of working full time and missing out on my son.

Oh god, now I'm welling up.

Sorry, I know this sounds like a drip feed but there are others in a similar situation reducing their hours even further - from 830-430 to 9-230 and this has been approved!

OP, have you checked out www.workitout.org.uk/ for advice and info about flexible working requests among other things

InternetSchminternet Not that particular site but I have read around about the obligations etc regarding them. I understand that legally, they have 3 months, according to ACAS, to resolve the whole process (including any appeals).

I cannot cope with that level of stress. I was once in a redundancy pool of 1 and following my first consultation, ended the process because I couldn't bare a 12 week drawn out process.

It's terrible to worry, I know.

Sometimes the fact that other people have already reduced their hours can count against you, unfortunately. It means they can't afford for everyone not to be there. So it is massively unfair but if you are no. 4 out of 6 staff asking to reduce hours it can be difficult for employers.

What you need to do is anticipate any issues the business might have and then see how you can overcome them - if you provide a solution, then you are more likely to succeed.

I appreciate all the comments and kind words. It's a bit of a pointless post really to be fair as there's not a lot I, nor any of you can do.

My boss has apparently already presented the solution to his boss. I work on a different team to the person granted a change.

I just want to go home and fester under a duvet.

It's a bit of a pointless post really to be fair as there's not a lot I, nor any of you can do.

Still sucks though!

I do understand how you’re feeling. It was awful waiting to hear back from my lot as a ‘yes’ meant a much wanted move back home and a ‘no’ would have meant staying where we are which would be completely the wrong thing for our family.

Im sat here, still none the wiser. I almost can't bring myself to make idle chat with my boss because it's something quite important to me/us as a family and he doesn't seem to care.

I've come back after a 4 day weekend which was relatively stress free to it being all I can think about again.

Do you have any coping strategies for your anxiety, OP? I know it must be tough but really all you can do in this situation is wait a bit - after the bank holiday is just not a good day for getting things sorted and you've already prompted your boss so you need to focus on managing your thoughts.

Not really good at them. Just distract and keep myself busy. I went for a run at lunch which helped a bit.

Hometime soon. Snuggles on the sofa with my boys.

Would a plan help? e.g.

Remind boss on Thursday morning that he'd agreed to speak to his boss. Send it by email and say you'd really like to be able to have a decision this week if possible, when it will be X days since you submitted your request - as you're worrying about it and it would be great to be able to have it off your plate before the weekend.

Then tomorrow when you start to worry, remind yourself that you have a plan to email on Thursday morning.

To be honest OP, the last thing you should be doing, unless it's unavoidable, is going off with stress.

To your manager this is quite a while away - they will be thinking they have months to sort this out (which they do really)

Do you have a union rep who could help to shoulder some of the mental load here? You need to stay focused and strong.

No harm in looking for an alternative role just in case though. Good luck!

Good idea Squirrels I did email him this morning, after our brief chat, saying I would like to know the outcome in 48 hours.

blue I know 100% it's the worst thing to do. I must say, it helped going for a run this afternoon to clear my head.