To not want to be ‘reminded’ to give Easter Eggs?

[Greyponcho]

Went to PILs today. All well and good. MIL gave us Easter eggs as she does every year, despite us reassuring her she really needn’t.
After we left, DP gets a text from his DM - did we get our DN6 an Easter egg?
DP, who leaves all present buying to me or it’d not get done (this isn’t the AIBU) checks with me.
Honestly, no. I’ve been so ill recently I forgot, but know that I’ve got a ton of things I’d previously bought for DN for such an occasion, that I can give.
TBH, DN gets absolutely loads from us, typically “just because”, or I see something I think DN would like or I spend an age carefully making something bespoke.
Easter gifts have previously been toys and fun books, knowing DN gets a mountain of chocolate we choose gifts that last longer than a weekend
AIBU to be annoyed that there’s an expectation for us to hand over a gift just because it’s Easter, as we’re usually quite generous throughout the year, or am I being part of the stingy anti-chocolate brigade?

Yanbu, interfering of the ILs, but at least they messaged their son!

Does she remind DN's parents to give your DC a present / egg?

Do the parents get your DC gifts or is it one sided on your part?

Sorry but it's a token. You either do it or don't. I'd be surprised if I didn't get the obligatory egg or Easter themed art book from close family. It will be forgotten though and no big deal will be made of it. Just please don't live on past glories of what you have done. That's what you did because you wanted to.

YANBU. My MIL has a ‘favourite’ grandchild and we all get reminders when it’s her birthday. It winds me up. Presents are given at my discretion, not on command.

Depends on whether Easter eggs are a 'thing' in your family or not. If you don't do them then i wouldn't bother. If you do then maybe mil wasn't BU as in fairness you had said you hadn't got one.

You can get Easter eggs for a £1 in Asda or Morrisons. Is it really that big a deal?

Uhh, the Easter eggs from MIL were for DP, myself and DSS. Nothing for DSS from SIL but
a) we/he wouldn’t ever ‘expect’ one
b) he’s an adult.

No young DC on our side

DP replies an said we had got DN something else instead of chocolate

givemesteel Is it really that big a deal?

I don’t know, which is why I’m asking. I’d usually spend a fair bit more on something that lasts a lot longer, but @Marriedwithchildren5 suggests that doesn’t count

YANBU. MIL sends messages like this too, she usually starts reminding me at least a month before. She's even been known to text reminding me valentines is coming up... DH and I don't even do valentines FFS.

You choose to put the extra effort in which is lovely. However, if you were Ill that's a good enough reason to have not been ready for Easter. I buy for my best friends children and my niece/nephews. If I was poorly an online shop would sort it or dh would be sent off with a list. But I buy Easter eggs. No effort. Just thought.

@Greyponcho when DSS was younger did your SIL buy him something? if so then yes, i would say you should buy DN an easter egg. Even if you regularly buy (which my DCs aunts and uncles dont so your DN is very lucky) it is still seemed appropriate to mark the occasion. And I would guess not doing would result in being judged (despite all you do through the year).

Personally I always mark occasions like this with easter baskets / toys for the DC in the family. But I love buying and making and preparing for events so would happily mark anything. I even still buy for DHs DN23!! He actually suggested today we stop but I really couldnt leave DN out and get the younger kids. Perhaps when DN has a baby I will just transfer the gift to them instead

It depends on the family traditions. If you're a family that gives eggs then it's reasonable to expect them.
Perhaps MIL sent your DH the reminder because she knew you'd been ill and might not have had the chance to pick one up?

@Greyponcho Also, sorry for missing this, in regards to MIL. I would appreciate mine "reminding me" if she thought I had forgotten.

However it does depend on how she delivered it and what kind of relationship you have. If you feel she was being bossy or judging then thats not fair. Mine wouldnt say it like that and would genuinely be trying to be helpful. However if my horrible SIL "reminded me" I would have a fit

YANBU.

My PIL like to text DH to remind us of random family members wedding anniversaries or birthdays. These are people we very rarely see and have no real relationship with, would never send a bloody wedding anniversary card. So interfering.

My parents like to remind me of all sorts, I'm sure they think I'm 7 and not 37 and married with 2 children...

Thank you for the replies... think that calendar reminders are the way forward so that it’s not going to all be left to me to do all the thinking/doing for presents, have our phones remind us BOTH in advance instead of MIL after the event.

I think I took it too personally as even though she text DP she knows I do the gift shopping, even to the point of thanking me first for mums day gifts knowing I had chosen them, then thanking DP.

You weren't reminded, your DP or their DS was. Don't take it personally. DP needs to step up and either buy gifts or tell his DM he doesn't want to.

YANBU. I get really fucked off when MIL texts (DH) to remind him of stuff. Usually when it involves a present for her, so "don't forget it's my birthday/don't forget it's mother's day" etc. I find it rude tbh and none of her business.

I think it's quite his Mum reminds him to do these things. Keeps you out of the shitwork entirely.