To go on this night out?

[bookslide]

More am I being an idiot rather than aibu...
Been invited to an local event by set of new friends. It’s likely given the type of event that my ex’s dsis will be there.
We got on ok but I knew not to get on the wrong side of her- very aggressive and has physically gone for people.
Anyway me and ex split all fine between us just grew apart but friends of friends have told me that his sister is not happy about it all.
Fine our paths haven’t crossed in 18 months but if she sees me at this event I’m worried about her kicking off at me in front of my newish friends should I make an excuse and not go?

Sod that! I'd go along but act completely normal, almost like you don't know who she is.

Go, if she starts on you she's just making herself look like an arsehole, and if she attempts to physically assault you phone the police and get her arrested. She needs to get a life of her own if she's still bothered by her brother's relationship break up after 18 months, what a weirdo.

Why was she not happy? Was she sad because she liked you or did she blame you?

Definitely not. Don't let her bully you. If they see her kicking off they will judge her and not you.

Blamed me.
She is so volatile I’ve seen her literally go for her own friends in a split second- I know it sounds ridiculous as im early 30’s not a school girl but I’m scared to death of her.

Personally I’d go but make sure to be extremely polite (even in the face of great rudeness).

If she’s rude to you in front of your friends the only person who will look bad is her. Better to get it over with, you can’t avoid her for ever.

Definitely go, but if she's there make sure you don't drink too much (so you're in complete control yourself) be polite to her and smile but don't do out of your way to talk to her. No matter how aggressive she is, it would be very hard for her to attack you out if the blue.

I can see why you won't want to go, who wants to having to deal with that kind of behaviour in front of a new set of friends

If it isn't going to spoil new friendships I'd make an excuse and join then the next time they are meeting up.

I wouldn't voluntarily go somewhere where I might be attacked if I didn't have to.

Sod that!

She sounds absolutely vile, I'm amazed she has any friends left

I wouldn't voluntarily go somewhere where I might be attacked if I didn't have to

This is what I’m thinking- is this just foolish in my part if I do but at the same I want to be able to go- what if I stay away on the chance she might be there and she isn’t- then I’ve missed out for no reason.
Wish I could just know if she was going or not but obviously have no way of finding out

On my part that should have been

Seems a shame to have to miss out but not sure I’d risk it - is there no way you can find out?

No way of finding out until I’m there iyswim :(

I would have a trusted find ready to call 999 if she gets aggressive.

It may be the lesson she needs.

But really, after 18 months, I doubt she will kick off.

You shouldn't be on lock down. You deserve a night out. If you split 18 months and she was that angry, would she not have sought you out before now?

Go to your event, if possible, why not confide in one of the new gang, saying I am hoping my ex SIL won't be there as she has a tendency to be a little unpredictable'. I am sure she will out your mind at ease, assure you they will be there.

You don't want to be writing the same thing in 5 or 10 years.

Thank you for your responses it’s on Saturday night so I have a few more days to decide.