To expect dp to tidy up after himself?

[Rachiie]

I'm naturally quite a tidy person, and I'm always picking up after myself as I go along. Dp doesn't do the same and it irritates me no end.
Silly things like leaving his plate on the table instead of taking it into the kitchen, leaving his shoes where he's taken them off instead of putting them on the shoe rack, overfilling the bin instead of taking it out, spilling juice/tea/coffee/milk when making a drink and not wiping it up.

I know it's silly but he's an adult and it really isn't that difficult to just clear up after yourself. Leaving it and letting everything accumulate just makes cleaning effort instead of a 5 minute job.
It doesn't help that I'm 36w pregnant so struggling with energy and bending over to pick stuff up off the floor.
Don't get me wrong, he's great and lovely. And he always clears up if I ask (sometimes with a bit of eye rolling) but I just wish I didn't have to ask all the time, I feel like I'm nagging. Whenever we have conversations about him doing more without being asked he's great for about a week or so then back to normal.
I don't even know what my aibu is, just wanted to moan a bit I guess.
Maybe aibu at expecting him to just do it? Or aibu in asking him all the time?

I would not cook for him if he doesn't wash his plate.

I would tell him anything left on the floor, socks etc, will be bagged and binned.

^ second that advice. He needs to change his messy habits, especially if you've got a baby on the way. It'd drive me mad cleaning up after a partner and a child for the foreseeable future, feel your pain! Good luck!

I'm guessing he's never lived on his own - in other words if he didn't do it himself it wouldn't get done. Is that the case? You could smash the point home by not lifting a finger for at least a week and see if he thinks it's cool to live in squalor. Perhaps he just doesn't think about it. Or he's a natural slob. Sounds like the former though as you mention how nice he is in general.

My DH is similar, I know in his case it’s not malicious, he’s just absent minded and genuinely doesn’t see that there’s an issue. Personally I refuse to live in a hovel and I will not do everything and I don’t want to nag either. So we’ve hired a cleaner. Then on a day to day basis I say things like, I’m going to get dinner on, take the bin out and put the shoes away whilst I do so. We find it works fine for us, no eye rolling, no resentment and we’re both happy.

So one tidy person and one messy person.

Time to find a middle ground. :)

Perhaps he just doesn't think about it.
I do think he just genuinely doesn't see the mess whereas I always do.
Probably because my mum is a mega neat freak so all my life I've been used to keeping things clean and tidy and it just carried on when I moved out.
And he's always had people around tidying up after him. I'm trying to be less "everything must be spotless 247" but I have my limits haha.

He says he's going to do everything round the house the first week or so after baby comes to give me time to recover but I'm a bit like hmm sure .

You have my sympathy. My slattern flatmate can't seem to understand that doing things little and often creates much less work and keeps the place pleasant. Striking the balance between not living in a ratholt but not being a doormat is hard. They sadly won't notice if you stop. I would suggest strict rules- tidy it or I bin it etc as suggested above.

Wow, a whole week?!!!!

And then what happens after the week? You go back to being his maid?

I do the same as @troubledlichen I say right the bin needs taking out and the washing up done, which one do you want to do?