40th Birthday and partner

[WheelyCote]

So my birthday yesterday turned 40. Partner of 10/11 years works away and couldn't be back for my birthday. Plan is that I'm driving over to where he's staying tonight and I'd be taken for a meal, have a few drinks etc

Did things with friends and family over the weekend had fabulous time. Missed partner but hey...work can't be helped it's Easter a busy time

Birthday morning partner sends me a text Happy Birthday xxx we spoke a few times as the day was going on and nada. Wouldn't think it was a special day for me. It got to tea time and I told him his birthday fussing needs finessing. He said I was being mean. That it doesn't count until we're together.🤔

Sooo today...
He rings me up...the place we were going to go isn't open today. Can I give him a hint.
I said...didn't care so much about the food but more the experience of getting out together, food, having a laugh and a few drinks. Suggested that he try places near by him and work outwards (if that makes sense).

Suggested a few places but he has said he refuses to eat at a corporate place (he's a chef) or other suggestions is that he doesn't like the food there

🤔 am I being a birthdayzilla...
Firstly no birthday card, not a token of a pressie in any shape, and now he's being fussy where we eat concerned about what he doesn't like.

AIBU to think....for him to just think what I'd like for my birthday??

I wouldn’t expect card or pressie till you actually see him. Have you said firmly it’s my birthday and I want you to find somewhere nice for us, not to tell my why you don’t like each of my suggestions?

It's your birthday, you should go out where YOU want to go. It's irrelevant that it's not his first choice - it's not his birthday!

I wouldn't expect a card or present if I was seeing my partner the next day though, I think that's a bit OTT. Some flower or a phone call would be nice but I certainly wouldn't expect it if I knew we were going out for dinner the following day.

Sounds like his overall attitude is a bit shit, though.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Thanks....Kind of wondered if I'd get flowers but fair enough not. Not so much fussed about the card or pressie...it's the feeling of it all being a hassle. Almost feel like I should be thanking him for even saying he'll accompany me somewhere.

Doesn't help that two friends who turned 40 too....one was taken on holiday and they got engaged another is being taken to Australia for 3 weeks by her hubby.

Realise there extremes but I wanna shake him and ....bloody hell, come on