To just want my 8 year old to play!!

[Sunflowerhappy]

My eight year old just doesn't play.
She goes to swimming lessons and horse riding which she loves and she wants to do more clubs like brownies.
She is constantly harassing me for play dates and I do them when I can (although I hate them) I work full time and find it difficult to arrange play dates around work but we do have them a couple of times a month.
She will sit glued to tv or her kindle but when I restrict this she just mopes about whinging or harasses me to eat rubbish out of boredom. She will not play in her room with toys or draw or read...even though she's a good reader who enjoys reading to me. She constantly wants attention or wants to do things with me which is great but I need time to myself as well. I'm sick of fighting over tv remote, on egg shells when I want to watch something I can't watch anything in peace because she just harasses me.
She has a room full of toys books and craft stuff but unless one of us are part of it she won't do anything by herself!
It's driving me nuts. She constantly needs friends over or one of us to play with.

Do other people's kids act like this or do they also amuse themselves?
It's like having a toddler again!

Indeed, children are different and my two were like your DD. They never really took on playing on their own in their bedroom. I too was a FT working mum so found it frustrated at time that they were always around me and never seem to really want to play with the toys they got so excited about recieving at Xmas and birthdays. When I got most frustrated, I used to tell them I was going to sell them, which got them to play again, for about 10 minutes until they would tell me they were bored.

Then one day I spoke with someone who was a classroom assistant at my children's school. She said that she'd helped in some of my kids' class and had picked up they were very bright. She then said that having helped in school for over 30 years, she noticed that a number of very bright kids thrives on being mentally stimulated. She said that many of them didn't have the same level of imagination than other kids so found playing with toys (role playing) quite boring after little time. What she said made complete sense as indeed, both my kids were much interested in real life activities. I'd never appreciated before how lucky I was that they always behaved when we went shopping because they actually find supermarkets stimulating their brains.

They are now 18 and 15 and have indeed shown to be very bright kids interested in careers that involves mental stimulation, hands on work and people contact. I couldn't imagine them getting into anything requiring creativity!

There's nothing wrong with children being bored and learning how to keep themselves amused. I would prepare some ideas for those days that you can start them off with, but they do eventually learn that it's OK to be bored and to thin for themselves rather than be fed entertainment by their parent.

Playing "Go Fish" with a pack of playing cards is a good one. Jigsaws another. Print off some activity packs (word search, anagrams etc) if you can (some shops do these if you have no printer). Put on a kids Dance DVD so they can learn some routines.

If going for a walk I always used counting games (how many red doors can you spot on the walk, how many cats, how many hello cars). Give them an old point and click camera if you have one and take photos.

My 3yo is like this and it's exhausting. I was hoping she'd grow out of it but by the sounds of it she won't :(

Pets will only work if she doesn't get bored easily, especially an animal like a hamster that is asleep most if the day. Otherwise she'll just get bored of that too

My 7 year old DS goes through phases like this.

It is definitely the most difficult in the holidays. I've found the following works best - each day I tell him at the start of the day at least one thing we'll be doing together. For example, today was the cinema but if I'm working it will be something like reading together or half an hour of Lego together before bed. He gets half an hour a day on the tablet/playstation/his DS And no more unless I'm ill. On my days off he knows he has to help me with some jobs for at least 20 minutes (things like taking out the recycling, bringing the laundry down, general tidying) and then he gets told he can either play, go in the garden, draw or read. If he whines about that I tell him more firmly and say it's either that or do more chores - usually he just gets on with it then.

I think most children respond fairly well to knowing the plan in advance and having some sort of structure. I also give him specific ideas - instead of just saying "go play with your lego" I say "go build me the best spaceship out of Lego you can." Once he's playing he gets engrossed and it's sorted.

Also, regarding the walks, DS will moan after 5 minutes of walking but will happily cycle for hours or walk around playing Pokemon go for ages. So if I want a long walk he either takes his bike or an old phone for him to play Pokemon on.

Lastly, I make sure I sit with him and really listen to what he's saying once a day minimum. I think only children find it hard with working parents and no siblings to keep them occupied and that helps him feel like we've had 'us' time!

One of mine was like this, the other two amaze me by being able to entertain themselves! Does she like audio books or music at all? Mine will sometimes listen to stuff in their rooms or on headphones. If you can get her into reading, you're sorted, really.

Oh... I see she likes the Kindle. Does she read books on there or is it games?

I haven’t read the whole thread but wanted to say going for a scooter run around the roads near to where we live is always enjoyed by my children, going to the park where your child could make friends, going to Beavers where they do so many different activities and have lots of fun camping. Children today can’t usually go out free as children did when I grew up so it does mean their parents usually take them out to parks and activities. Our local museums do lots at the weekends which are places she could mix with other children.

my youngest dd is 10 and effectively an only as older ones have left home. it is hard indeed. i let her on the laptop when i want to watch a programme or have some peace.

Sounds exhausting OP. I used to play for hours on my own, I loved it. Thankfully my two DSs are half and half.. do like us involved at times but then play alone a lot too (seperately)
Hopefully the nice weather will be along soon and she can head out to play with mates.

Yep, I am in a similar situation with one DD just turned 8. I work nearly full time too and we only manage play dates once a week or twice at most. She chooses one of two specific friends for play dates and they go quite well but it is difficult when you work full time or nearly full time. I've noticed dd more recently saying that she says she is bored. She does love going on animal jam on the computer where she can learn about animals and talk (parents can restrict what phrases etc they can use on various levels) to other kids and she does that once or twice a day with a restriction on time but I don't get hardly any me time either. Today we have washed the dog and when the pouring rain stops we will attempt a walk but I agree I have noticed a change going into this age group. We did use some local organisations that did fun sports days at local schools (for reasonable charge)sometimes during the holidays on one or two days which she enjoyed. We sometimes have a laugh and do a bit of Wii (for a little bit of exercise together) but I agree it can be a tricky one.....but rest assured you're not on our own....

“You can help me with this chore or you can go play...”

Pretty much! All of mine learned that saying they were bored would result in chores. They soon stopped after having to clean the toilets a couple of times.

She’s old enough for chores anyway and will learn that once chores are out of the way then play can happen. Being bored is good for kids, being constantly stimulated means they don’t develop much of an imagination imo.

My dd was just the same. It does improve with age.

Stick a TV in her room! You'll get all the peace you want then 😂! Once the weather is better I'm sure she'll be out playing with friends!

TV? Thought OP didn't want her on a screen all the time. No to a TV - not necessary in a bedroom

I have an only child just like this only of the male variety. Seriously hard work he plays 9 hours of his hobby and week an hour of another hobby and school but still find time to moan about playing alone or not watching YouTube

Damn that should have been scored through

I think some play on her own, and some parent time, is the optimum.
Have you read Calmer Easier Happier Parenting?
I'm a big fan and she recommends one to one time plus gradually teaching alone play.

If she's into tech perhaps you could get her a Raspberry Pi (or similar) to tinker with, there are loads of projects online she can do by herself and show you the outcomes. Plenty of head down time and not much needed from you (you may not know anything about it anyway!) except a wow at the end and what about trying x next?!
projects.raspberrypi.org/en/

Does she not have friends locally who she can just play out with?

I was an only child but I was rarely bored or stuck in the house as I was out playing all the time.

If I was indoors my usual go-to pastime was my dolls house or reading.