to ask for a BME holiday thread?

[holiday101]

A few posts in travel/chat regarding BME posters being made to feel uncomfortable sadly reminded me that there are areas of UK I would love to visit with my family but have strong reservations that may or may not be justified. We are a mixed race family but are openly Muslim which in the current climate means I am a bit wary of going to places that I perceive to be a typically White British holiday destination. Would like to try Butlins/Haven type places but do fear other children calling my DC names (we often do cottage type holidays where there aren't lots of other people) I don't care much for myself but the DC are at an age where they are being made to feel that they should be ashamed of who they are so as much as possible would like to avoid that.

Just looking for tried and tested family type holiday destinations across UK. Good and bad reviews welcome!

I'm not BME, I'm white so I don't have any helpful suggestions, but I'm absolutely horrified this is still a thing and people have to think about this stuff when booking a holiday. I'm sorry it's like that OP.

@KC225

What does BME stand for?

Black or Minority Ethnicity

My best friend is British Asian (not Muslim, but most people assume her and her family are) and has had some really shitty stuff shouted at her, which is really bloody heartbreaking.

She goes to Haven Devon Cliffs which she says was absolutely great, but says to avoid the Haven in Hastings where she had an awful holiday at last year

I distinctly remember Cornwall being a high frequency destination mentioned for BME travellers who felt unwelcome. Any positive stories? I would love to go there.

My friend and his (black) boyfriend had a very nice two weeks there recently with a warm welcome from every b&b owner they met and no more odd looks than a mixed race gay couple runs into anywhere except perhaps Brighton they were pleasantly surprised I think!

Hope you find somewhere lovely to go OP.

As an NI resident, I feel sad that someone would advise you not to come here! There can be dodgy places or unwelcoming people anywhere, but I’d really like to think that anyone can visit here and be made 100% welcome x

You really can't insulate your children from these things and I'm very much a 'hold your head high' type of person, but I feel especially vulnerable/sensitive regarding holidays. When you have paid a lot of money and waited a whole year or two the last thing you want to face is overt racism, especially if it is in an 'intimated setting such as a holiday park where space is limited.

I was considering a Eurocamp type place in Switzerland and was checking out TA reviews. I was horrified and saddened to read a review of a Black man who said the whole holiday had been ruined as near the end a bar man said he didn't serve n*iggers. The man complained to company staff who just shrugged their shoulders type of thing.

Thanks Mission - it's not the first thing come up on Google.

So sorry about that mission . I have heard awful things about rural France in particular, about gite/cottage owners shouting at the family when they discovered they weren't White, which is such a shame as we love to hire a car and go off the beaten track to explore when we are away. As PP's have said rascism in certain places is so casual and accepted that no one bats an eye.

Go for the holiday you and your family want, here in the UK or wherever. 20 years ago my nickname in my family was darkie. I'm educating my children.

I was trying to work out BME. I got British Muslim.......something or other
My friend who is a young muslim woman in her 30s takes her children to a caravan park every year. They all love it. She says she loves the family values there, everything is geared towards the children and the fact that alcohol is only allowed in certain areas. She has never mentioned any problems and it is something that we would talk about.

I am mixed raced with a white husband and mostly found Cornwall good (was apprehensive) but did have one older man kind of spoil it by making a comment to my DH and I that white people were more honest than non white people . That was day one so set me on edge for the remainder of the week we were there which was a shame.

OP I know what you mean, as a BME you really have more to worry about than the weather when holidaying. It’s a shame because many UK tourist areas are crying out for more tourists but would you spend your hard earned somewhere you and your family would feel unwelcome and on edge? I’d rather go abroad and have guaranteed sun rather than be poorly treated in my own country. Or even worse have my DC targeted as from experience many racists are cowardly and pick on children and women.

I’ve been to Scotland many times and have always been treated well (although menacingly stared at by one person in one pub but I dismissed it as just one person compared to the other 99.99% who were lovely). Western and Northern Wales was good. Welsh/English border had strong UKIP (went just before Brexit) vibe although treated fine. Lake District - good and geared up for tourists from around the world. Norfolk - patchy but mainly good although a bit of a staring thing going on in parts. Suffolk has always been nice and they’re used to tourists. To be honest it’s quite obvious we’re relatively wealthy too (car, clothes etc) and I find this helps when being a tourist.

Kent - avoid. Tried three times in different places. Not a good vibe, unwelcoming and even Deliverance level threatening in places. There was even a sign in a Turkish Kebab shop warning people that racism directed at staff would not be tolerated and this was in a supposedly good area. I have never seen such a thing anywhere else.

@BarbarianMum While people might experience racism in Ireland (which is obviously wrong and regrettable) you cannot write off an entire country because of your second hand experience of your friends holiday. If they experienced racism on their holiday that is unacceptable but unless they went the length and breadth of the country you are being incredibly unfair to write off the inhabitants of the entire country based on one isolated story. I am Irish, living in Dublin and am not racist and know many people from different cultures living here who have not experienced racism in Ireland. I lived in London for a few years and experienced many racist comments and 2 attempted assaults by British men (fortunately stopped by other British men before they hit me) solely based on the fact that I had an Irish accent. Despite my first hand experience I haven't written London or the UK off as places to avoid if you are Irish because of racism. Intolerant attitudes like yours spreading hearsay and rumours are unacceptable.

God, some people! I don't blame you in the slightest for being wary about racism in the current climate, OP, and people having the nerve to kick off at you should maybe take a bit of a look at themselves.

I think Cornwall might be a good bet really - lots of metropolitan London middle class type of people holiday there and whilst I’m sure they can be just as racist they are more likely to be the type of people who wouldn’t say/stare and teach the

Sorry hit send too soon - teach their children not to be rude. And before anyone flames me, of course poorer/working class people will also raise their children this way but just look at all the working class areas which voted for Brexit.

I'm BME with a white DH and Cornwall ans Brighton comes highly recommended from friends with mixed race families.

It's sad we have to think about things like this but I have a long list of countries I will never visit to avoid being racially abused and I don't care if people call me paranoid. I'm not wasting my hard earned money to be racially abused.

Mixed Asian/Jewish/European family here. We had strife in Dorset, lots of stares and "friendly" questions about where we were from..... Nottingham not being an acceptable answer, apparently! Same in Perth and Highlands of Scotland. We regularly go to Norfolk, and no problem there. Wales fine too. Had a hideous weekend in Somerset, never again.

Similar background to you OP - mixed race muslim family. Actually we’ve been pretty lucky with holiday experience and not had any issues, even when we’ve been the only Muslim or Asian people there noones ever been rude or made us unwelcome.
We’ve done Butlins Bognor, bluestone, Eurocamp and similiar type of places in France and Spain, parkdean caravan place in Norfolk, camping in rural wales, Cornwall, Blackpool - all been okay. Wore my burkini in the pool at Butlins and bluestone and no one commented
Did have a bad experience on the ferry from hull to Amsterdam once with blokes making extremely crude comments bc of my hijab, that’s the only incident that stands out.

missnevermind BME is black or minority ethnic.

I've no idea what your budget is so feel free to shoot this idea down -- but what about Disneyland Paris?
I say this as Paris is a reasonably multicultural city with a fair number of people who are North African origin (Tunisia, Morocco, Algeria) as well as people from francophone Africa and French overseas territories in the Caribbean living there -- I would think/hope that some of them take their kids to Disneyland.

I'm aware there are racists in France as elsewhere, unfortunately, but wondered if BME families might feel comfortable at Disneyland P.

I am white British so I'm not able to give you a BME view but perhaps take a look at The Bay Filey. You hire a cottage but there is a pool and the beach on site. It was full of people of all religions and nationalities when we went. My DC are much younger so not sure if it would suits teens. There are loads of places to visit in Yorkshire so we went somewhere different each day.

I am white, my teem son is mixed race, White/african. He looks African, has an Afro, brown skin.
We stay with friends in Cornwall every year, in Helston, St Ives/Penzance area. My friends are English/Indian who have lived in that area for 20 years and brought their children up there. We've never had a problem, and as far as I'm aware they've never had any major issues, apart from terribly well meaning people not wanting to get things wrong.
I've also taken my son to North Wales and not experienced any problems.

We tend to stay in YHAs though, not holiday camp type places, which is just personal preferences, as we move about a bit.

Would also recommend Alton Towers, especially the Splash Park, there were lots of people modestly dressed, of all backgrounds.

This is good to know. I went on a school trip around 15 years ago and was followed all round the place by kids shouting racist abuse. I’m glad it’s better now.

I’m not sure if I can recommend anywhere to the OP, but I hope you find somewhere great to go. I think I avoid quite a lot of racism lately as I go on holiday with my white husband. I’ve visited places all over the uk for work and holidays and in the past 5 years I think people seem to accept my answer when I say I’m Scottish.

Have had a terrible experience in Blackpool as a mixed race couple. I was spat at and pushed on the street by a group of men unhappy my OH was not white.

But have had a wonderful friendly holiday in Wales in Tenby.

It's horrible when you are somewhere where there's an undercurrent of racism.

Following with interest, yes this is a real thing to consider unfortunately. Not one you want to share with the children either, who wants to say, no sorry, we can’t go there, people might be rude about the way we look to their children when discussing something that’s meant to be fun!