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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Tidyness and cold/flu aibu or him

23 replies

Happybunny1994 · 02/04/2018 12:14

Had some clothes to put away and a pile of junk out that I was sorting through. This junk came from storage boxes under the bed. I had put of finishing tidying it for a few days mainly due to being busy and a bit of general laziness. 3 days ago my cold turned Worse but I managed to sort it nearly all out yesterday morning before heading of for Easter lunch. He said we couldn’t go to lunch untill it was done I spent all morning running around feeling like crap. When it got to 11.55 I said we need to leave to get there for 12 he then asked is it tidy. I finally got him to leave on time but in a grump. Since last night I feel like I’ve got the flu. my whole body aches I’m sweating one minute then shivering the next. My head feels like its about to explode. My partner who likes to keep things immaculate keeps asking when I’m going to tidy I keep exploding and mentioning how ill I am how I’ve been up half the night and not going to work because I’m so ill. He replys with should of finished it when you weren’t ill then instead of leaving it. It’s pissing me off I’m ill I feel like death. He’s stomping round the room looking at the rain. When I mention what’s up he keeps mentioning the room mess. I feel like a naughty child.

OP posts:
Emma198 · 02/04/2018 12:18

He sounds like a knob. Saying you can't go out until you've done your tidying up? Is he your boss? You shouldn't be made to feel like that.

Bluelady · 02/04/2018 12:24

I'd like to see my husband telling me we couldn't go out until I'd done something. His feet wouldn't touch!

XiCi · 02/04/2018 12:25

Surely if he's that bothered about it he can do it himself.
He sounds like a right arsehole

minimalpatience · 02/04/2018 12:26

Why can't he tidy? To be frank the lack of compassion and not permitting you to go out is unacceptable.

MadMags · 02/04/2018 12:26

Unless you’re a child and he’s your dad, this is beyond ridiculous...

MrTrebus · 02/04/2018 12:27

LTB

mumgointhroughtorture · 02/04/2018 12:35

Are you his cleaner ? You can't finish your shift til all your chores are done?!
This was just like my ex . He loved nothing more than to find something to do with the housework or the kids to beat me with verbally . If I didn't do it I was a lazy b####. He's since been diagnosed as narcisstic. My life was a misery !

anxious2017 · 02/04/2018 12:35

If anyone ever told me I couldn't do something until I tidied, I'd laugh. If they were serious, then I'd tell them to fuck off and go out without them.

He's supposed to love you and I'd hope respect you as his equal. It doesn't sound like that's the case.

LTB.

Happybunny1994 · 02/04/2018 12:35

To be fair I’ve stood my ground I got up and went to walk to lunch He then drove us over. Today he’s gone to do some work and has just come in asked how I’m feeling and wished me better. I just told him how I’ve felt he apologisesed but I don’t think he meant it.

OP posts:
Happybunny1994 · 02/04/2018 12:36

I don’t no where this has come from either he’s never like this at all it’s really not like him. I’m the more dominant one normally.

OP posts:
Lacucuracha · 02/04/2018 12:37

Mess would annoy me in the bedroom as well, but if you're ill, you're ill.

Do you often leave mess everywhere? Does he tidy mess?

He said we couldn’t go to lunch untill it was done I spent all morning running around feeling like crap

I would have just gine without him. Who is he to dictate when you go.

veggiethrower · 02/04/2018 12:37

Knob.
Is he always like this?
Why couldn't he help to tidy?
He keeps asking when you are going to tidy??

Get some bin liners and tidy his stuff for him.... in a neat pile outside the front door.

gamerchick · 02/04/2018 12:37

Have you tried telling him to do it himself?

He’s ordering you around and you’re taking it Confused tell him to fuck off!

Happybunny1994 · 02/04/2018 12:39

It’s all my mess none of his

OP posts:
Lacucuracha · 02/04/2018 12:40

If it's OP's junk, it's hers to sort.

I wouldn't sort DH's junk or expect him to sort mine. He wouldn't know what I wanted to keep or chuck.

HopeClearwater · 02/04/2018 12:46

Have you got kids with this prize?

VimFuego101 · 02/04/2018 12:51

He sounds like a prize bellend. I was about to ask the same regarding kids.

gamerchick · 02/04/2018 13:04

Well just shove it all back under the bed and do it when you’re well.

Tbh if he goes on like this when you’re poorly then I would really be assessing the whole relationship in general.... and I’d be saying that to him now. Tell him to piss off and let you be ill in peace.

gamerchick · 02/04/2018 13:05

I wouldn't sort DH's junk or expect him to sort mine. He wouldn't know what I wanted to keep or chuck

If he was on his back Ill, would you be stropping around trying to force him to deal with it right now?

Lacucuracha · 02/04/2018 13:11

gamer Read my post upthread. No, I wouldn't.

LemonysSnicket · 02/04/2018 14:30

Off topic but who keeps mail under the bed?

Happybunny1994 · 02/04/2018 15:33

Where did I say mail ?

OP posts:
Dangerousmonkey · 02/04/2018 15:43

I'd tell him to piss off and pack my bags. He sounds wannabe controlling. Does he inspect your cleani g too?

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