To feel like I’ve lost my identity

[pinkstripez]

Four years ago I was about 4 stone slimmer than I am now.

I feel like I’ve lost myself. I know I am still me but I don’t look like me and I don’t feel like me. I’m shy, introverted, take no interest in myself, am scared of socialising or meeting someone new. I am single but I can’t date.

So lose weight? I keep trying. And failing.

Is there any way out of this cycle

Yes, yes there is away out.
How old are you? Are you working? Do you live alone? Some details may help make the advice more tailored.

Firstly make a plan. For today, tomorrow, next week, next month.

Today have a bath, dress nicely in things that fit, love yourself and then make a plan.
Choose a diet like Slimmers world or 5:2 get the info on them and pic a start date. Also take up an activity, walking, swimming, dancing, running, gym sessions, Kung fu........what ever you think takes your fancy.
Use an app to track your progress.
A happier you will be a good start, others can advise on dating.... Too long ago for me!

I’m 37. I live alone. I don’t want to sound defeatist but have tried SW, 5/2.

I’m a teacher so I do work but on school holidays at the moment.

Living alone is good, because you can choose what you eat and what exercise you do.
Have you thought of cutting carbs or removing bread, the blood sugar diet is supposed to be good, or asking the doctor of Orlistat?

I’ve been in your shoes before and i’m currently back in those shoes. I know you’ve said you’ve already tried SW before but I must have done it 10 times before it actually properly worked but I had to go into it with a totally different mindset. If you focus purely on 7lbs at a time, forgetting the bigger picture, just focus on 7lbs and getting that certificate and sticker it works. I ended up losing 6 stone in 7 months. You really have to embrace it for everything it is. Stay to group, make friends there and it really does work. What I failed to do was actually change my life and i’m 3 stone heavier again but that’s my own fault. I would definitely give it another go, set up and Instagram account and follow as many slimming world accounts as you can I found them hugely motivating while I was doing it myself and I made a lot of good friends through it. If you’re really dead against SW why not try Crossfit, it’s addictive once you get into it and it’s a fantastic community that teaches you so much about health and fitness. Good luck :)

MyFitnessPal is a great app for tracking calories, try the 5:2 diet, reduce sugar & carbs from your diet also.

Go for walks, join a walking club maybe? Book club for socialising?

You're not alone. I'm 3 stone heavier than I was 3 years ago. I need to be at least 4.5 stone lighter but that seems impossible.

I'd tried WW, SW, low carb (actually that worked but I didn't maintain it). I've had enough and am worried for my health. I joined SW again 2 weeks ago. I've embraced it properly this time and lost 7lbs! I know that level of weightloss will slow but it's a great kick start. I'm also following a training plan for a 10km race. There's walking entries as well so it's the walking plan. I can't run at the moment due to a dodgy hip, which is also why I'm not entering the race this year.

I'm a teacher too, so whilst joining before Easter may have been off putting, I did it with the idea that I could plan and cook over the holidays and be set up for the next term.

Why not give it another go?