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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my brother not to bring his 4 yr old, who's been vomiting the last day, to the family dinner?

24 replies

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 02/04/2018 10:52

My brother's son has been puking yesterday and this morning. We're having a big family dinner this eve and he's asking whether it's ok to bring him (or leave him home with the dm).
My mum says yes it's fine because if it was catching the others would have it too.
I say no because I've got some important work this week to do and I can't afford to take time off.

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 02/04/2018 10:54

Definitely not ok and unfair on the child too. Who wants to go to a family dinner when they have been vomiting that very morning

HumpHumpWhale · 02/04/2018 10:55

People are so fecking irresponsible. YANBU. Also, the poor kid should be at home in bed, not being dragged to someone else's house. Are you hosting, or your mum? If your mum is host, you may just have to bow out yourself, unfortunately.

KirstenRaymonde · 02/04/2018 10:57

We had a big family do here yesterday, DP had been throwing up Friday night and then once Saturday. I gave everyone the option of not coming if they didn’t want to risk it, all came but I would have understood if not. You can definitely say ‘sorry I don’t want to risk him spreading it’, though your DB might still spread if he comes carrying the bug. The child also might not be up to it anyway.

DarkRoomDarren · 02/04/2018 10:58

I’m a bit strict about vomiting bugs. I wouldn’t have anyone over until 48 hours after last vomiting / diarrhoea episode, unless it was an emergency, (eg the parents were in hospital or something and they needed me to watch their sick child). Same if my dcs or I have a tummy bug. Stay at home for 48 hours and bleach everything!

Original poster
SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 02/04/2018 10:58

It's my mum hosting. I feel guilty because if I've got the problem them maybe it's me that shouldn't go.

OP posts:
DarkRoomDarren · 02/04/2018 10:59

Oh right, if your mum’s ok and she’s hosting then I would bow out.

DarkRoomDarren · 02/04/2018 11:00

Ok with it*

iheartmichellemallon · 02/04/2018 11:01

I wouldn't go if I were you as he'll definitely still be contagious (& your brother likely a carrier!).

Ubercornsdiscoball · 02/04/2018 11:03

Your brother might have it too, just not know it yet. So he could leave the child at home (which he should do if the poor boy is unwell) but still spread it around to you all

NerNerNerNerBATMAN · 02/04/2018 11:03

That's crap if your mum is saying it's fine and she's hosting. If I were you I wouldn't go and be honest about why. The 48hr rule is there for good reason. Especially so with small children as they done wash their hands properly.

Original poster
SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 02/04/2018 11:04

DB has now said he's going to leave him home with his DW, since I've protested.
I would have thought the onus is on the sick person not to come, not whether other guests decide whether they want to come and chance it
Feeling guilty though! Poor DN. It's rotten feeling sick.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 02/04/2018 11:06

Without even thinking about the contagious side of things why would anyone think it would be a good idea to take a sick child to a family dinner? How much fun will that be for the poor child? Surely they would just want to stay at home

Lacucuracha · 02/04/2018 11:21

Onus is on sick/potentially contagious person not to attend. Anything else is bonkers.

DarkRoomDarren · 02/04/2018 11:30

Onus is on sick/potentially contagious person not to attend

It should be. But I really hate vomiting bugs, so I’d bow out anyway if I thought there’d be a vomiting child / contagious person there. Couldn’t give a shit about the rights and wrongs, I just look to avoid catching it!

expatinscotland · 02/04/2018 11:41

I wouldn't go.

f83mx · 02/04/2018 11:51

Your brother has a good chance of being contagious though so if you REALLY don't want to risk getting ill then don't go. But yeah agree with all PP's why would you even want to take a sick kid out regardless.

Mrscog · 02/04/2018 11:53

Yuk no! I’m always a bit more relaxed about 48 hour rule for family events/contact but that’s too soon - and unfair on the 4yo who’s probably washed out and should be having an early night.

ShawshanksRedemption · 02/04/2018 11:55

Poor DN. It's rotten feeling sick.
Absolutely it is rotten so I can't understand why your DB would even consider taking him to a family meal. Surely DN would just need to be in bed and being looked after?

Bluetrews25 · 02/04/2018 12:02

Thing is, the 48 hour rule is relatively new, and has only been a thing I've been aware of for a few years (and I work in health) so your DMum may not be aware of it. Perhaps she should be brought up to date with current recommendations?

Ellendegeneres · 02/04/2018 12:03

God id be making my excuses (migraine maybe) and not going. If your db has been caring for the little one, likely he’s contagious too. I wouldn’t risk it.

Maybe send something for dn (depending on age) in post- get well soon pack. Colouring book, crayons etc

LizzieDarcy1907 · 02/04/2018 12:03

I wouldn't go, as chances are your DB is contagious. Norovirus is so highly contagious I avoid anyone who's had it like the plague. I've had it twice in adulthood and that was enough to last a lifetime.

Ellendegeneres · 02/04/2018 12:05

Sorry just saw dn is 4- so probably the right age for the get well soon package. Poorly little sausage, so unpleasant being sick- and horrendous that his dad even has to ask if he can bring him! As if dn wants to be taken anywhere feeling like that!

PeonyTruffle · 02/04/2018 12:17

I’d bow out. Agree with PP, if your DB has been in close contact with poorly DN, he might have the bug too

5plusMeAndHim · 02/04/2018 12:26

YABU It is not up to you to uninvited someone else's guests!!
CF!!

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