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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My teenager broke into my house while I was away

15 replies

FruityBojangles · 02/04/2018 00:50

So, I had to go and collect DD1 from university and decided to stay overnight because it's a very long drive. DD2, who is 17, was supposed to be going to her dads overnight. At 11pm, I get a call saying she had broken into the house through the double glazing with a hammer borrowed from a takeaway because she and a friend had gone out without taking keys or their phones.

At first I thought this was an April Fools joke, until she sent a picture of the broken window.

We're a fairly laid back household, but she's really done it this time. I'm going to make sure she pays for the damage, and that she isn't left alone in the house overnight without me again (this is only the second time she's been alone overnight), however, I still feel she's getting off lightly. She is showing little remorse for what she's done, what can I do to show her that this wasn't ok?

OP posts:

IAmWonkoTheSane · 02/04/2018 00:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuddyForestWalks · 02/04/2018 00:57

Why didn't she go to her dads?

HughLauriesStubble · 02/04/2018 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

himalayansalt · 02/04/2018 01:06

What else can you do? She's been very very stupid, as has her friend, and hopefully she won't ever do it again. Replacing a double glazed window is going to be very costly so that will focus her mind. Because I know teens can be forgetful, I have spare keys with two different neighbours - could you have a similar arrangement with someone near you?

StillMedusa · 02/04/2018 01:12

Oh dear. Poor judgement on her part and I would definitely be expecting her to contribute to the replacement...and some fairly stern words...but 17 yr olds can be pretty stupid!

We have a tiny lock up box outside our front door..key pad with a front door key inside...none of us carry a key anymore. It might be worth considering for the future. I had 4 teens at one point and it has saved us a lot of hassle! (Argos or Robert Dyas for the lock up box)

Original poster

FruityBojangles · 02/04/2018 01:16

She was supposed to go to her dad's but I guess decided to spend more time with her friend at ours (the friend was also supposed to be going to my ex's house to stay with DD) - she didn't tell me this til later. Her aunt has spare keys and is fairly local (10 minutes drive) but as she'd forgotten her phone she couldn't call, and could literally couldn't remember any phone numbers.
Having said that, we live in a town and there are people she could've walked to.

OP posts:

Original poster

FruityBojangles · 02/04/2018 01:19

Medusa, I like the idea of a keybox but our wall fronts directly onto the street so i think it would be too prominent

OP posts:

BoomBoomsCousin · 02/04/2018 01:32

Unless she access to funds most 17 year olds don't, I suspect paying for replacement double glazing is going to be enough of a shock that additional punishment isn't really necessary. Though, for your own peace of mind, I think you're wise to not plan on letting her stay home without an adult again for a while.

Sparklesocks · 02/04/2018 01:34

Wow that is extreme of her!
I think making her pay the bill etc is a good idea, seems like she made an impulsive/reckless decision ;fuelled by booze - was she drinking?) and didn’t think about the long term consequences.

Also leaving the house without keys/phone is irresponsible and badly thought out. If you don’t already, could you ensure she does her own washing/cook once a week for the family etc? Having more responsibility might give her a push into acting more like an adult and having a better understanding of all the work you have to do around the house.

StillMedusa · 02/04/2018 01:34

So does ours... but the lock up box is about the size of a packet of cigarettes, so it is really discreet. Our neighbours got one first and it looked like such a good idea we copied. It's been brilliant if we have workmen in ( had house renovations last year) as they had the code, and then we changed it when they had finished. Honestly it has been a game changer for us...no more lost keys, or breaking in... (DS1 once broke in through the bathroom window, and I still have no idea how he scaled the outside wall of out house....!)

safariboot · 02/04/2018 02:12

She locked herself out by accident. I'm sure many here have done it, if we've lived somewhere the door locks by itself.

She can pay to fix the window she broke, but I don't think it warrants any 'punishment' besides that.

Cavender · 02/04/2018 02:17

safari you genuinely think smashing a window is a reasonable response to being locked out when you have local friends and relatives who can help?

I’d be volcanically angry. She’d be paying for and organising the repair and clean up and there would additional sanctions.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 02/04/2018 02:19

Yes, you may lock yourself accidentally but your first course of action shpuldn’t Be causin £1000s of damage to get in just because you are an idiot. They could have asked for help at her friend’s, go to her dad, etc.

gingergenius · 02/04/2018 02:21

I'd suggest also no friends staying over

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/04/2018 02:32

"she's really done it this time."
This time? Is there a backstory to her behaviour on this occasion?

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