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AIBU?

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When it’s time to let go.........

2 replies

Reevej4 · 01/04/2018 22:39

Hi. Any other parents on here feeling a certain loss when children dont really need them anymore. Or at least only need them in a crisis or for money :(.. 22 year old son at uni Lived away for first 2 years but for final year came home. Met girlfriend first year he was at uni. Really nice girl but spends a fair amount of any holiday with her family. They seem to have a large family network compared to me as I am a single mum. He lost his dad to illness when he was very young. My life was very much focused on work but primarily on raising my son. Lost contact with best friend many years ago when they moved. He always checks in to let me know what he is up to and check I am okay so should be thankful he is considerate but still feeling jealous that not only have her parents got 2 daughters at home they now also have my son. Feeling guilty for feeling this way too as deep down would hate him to act differently. Realise I have got to get my act together but friends all married and only see on the odd occasion as they have busy lives. do find this bit hard, the letting go. Anyone else felt this way. Spend time at gym which helps but all hobbies rather solitary affairs.

OP posts:
Prestonsflowers · 01/04/2018 22:59

Hello Reevej4
I was a single mum to my son and I completely understand where you’re coming from.
My son has married a fabulous woman, she has a large family and my son has been totally accepted by them, they described him as ‘a gift’
I’m so jealous but really pleased at the same time. They give him what I couldn’t and I feel awful for being jealous.
They now have a son and I’m a very welcome MIL and I look after him every two weeks and I love being in such close contact with my son again. And spending time with him and his wife and my grandson.
He is a lot older than your son (40) but I always said that I raised him to be his own person not an extension of me. I have a very controlling mother so that was important to me.
It’s really hard when you feel that they don’t need you but as time goes on they do and always will.
💐💐for you

MissionItsPossible · 01/04/2018 22:59

Her parents haven’t got your son - he’s always yours and nothing can change that. Flowers

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