AIBU to not finish my masters?

[MarkBorrigan]

I'm approaching 2/3 of the way through my masters. I have 3 essays (12,000 words combined) to write and a dissertation (15,000 words) left.

I have not enjoyed this degree, I wanted to leave two weeks in but I didn't quite have the courage, and I was hoping the content/teaching and my enjoyment of it would improve. It has not. Both of my lovely parents have been very ill this year, my DM had breast cancer and a mastectomy on the day of my first round of deadlines - amazingly I got my first set of essays in, and the marks were ok, two merits and a distinction. Thankfully my wonderful mum doesn't need anymore treatment, other than Tamoxifen. My Ddad has also been ill, in and out and hospital, right up until as recently as this week. I have been undergoing blood tests for the same genetic disorder that has been making Ddad so ill - thankfully I don't have it, but it took 9 months to find out.

This has all had a serious impact on my ability to concentrate. Then, now bare with me here, my degree got heavily affected by the strikes over pensions, I have lost 5 weeks of teaching, and the whole degree has only 20 weeks of teaching in total. I respect their right to strike but it has seriously impacted on my ability to write my next round of essays, I just do not have the knowledge there as I haven't been taught it. I also feel quite let down and am lacking inclination, if I'm honest. My grandad has also been in hospital this week. I feel like I've been so unlucky this year.

I work 25 hours a week and I am getting married in September, if I do my dissertation I will have less than a week between submitting it and my wedding day. If I manage to submit the three upcoming essays due the middle of May I will leave with a Postgraduate Diploma. For context, this is not a degree that leads towards a specific career path, it's in the social sciences. I already have a first class undergraduate degree. Given the circumstances, WIBU to forget the dissertation and completing the full masters and just aim for the diploma?

What made you want to do it in the first place? Was it that you had done so well in your undergrad that you felt academically pressured to continue?

Basically, yes. I got 84% in my first degree, and I wrote my dissertation on a particular topic, and my MSc is all about that very specific topic. I won't say what it is, it's only taught by one uni in the country. I really don't want to defer for a year, I don't want to be in limbo waiting to start again, it would hang over me horribly I know it would.

I think I would be relieved to finish with a PgDip, but also a bit sad. And maybe if it was the right decision I'd feel nothing but relief?

Your post is clear that you totally want to stop. I can understand how you feel. You need to give yourself permission to stop, we can’t give that to you. It’s your life, don’t succumb to sunk cost fallacy.

I felt exactly like this and everyone was telling me that it was ok to stop. Only one person told me I'd regret it if I did. In the end I pushed on, a day at a time, 1000 words at a time, and I'm so glad I did. I can't tell you how proud I was when I finished, still am really. I think you're so close to finishing it would be a real shame.

Nothing to add, but watching this with interest. I’ve been given the opportunity (and funding) by my current employer to complete the modules needed to top up my diploma to a degree. It’s always been something I’ve thought about doing, but ‘in the future’. My DC is older (7) and I’ve bought my house, settled down, feeling good about the future. But I’ve not long got to this point. A year ago, I really was running on empty. I staggered to the finish line last year in every respect; mentally and physically. I was completely spent. Whilst I want the degree; I don’t want to give up my hard earned mental health for it. I never want to be that low again.

Good luck OP; whatever you decide.

You have a lot on your plate and in your place I would go and speak to my tutor and ask how many more units I need to complete for the postgraduate certificate or the diploma. I completed my MSc last year whilst working full time and only managed to push through as I was very determined and needed the qualification for a career change.

I would also speak to finance as you may well still need to pay for the final term regardless of if you attend as you signed up for a course and committed to it.

If you do want the MSc you can complete the essays (and I always found that the lectures held little resemblance to the lectures as the depth of study came from reading the research around the subject, so would worry less about that) and ask to defer the dissertation for a more convenient time.

I totally feel your pain. The last year of my MA I was working, doing a placement, my marriage had just ended and I'd moved back to life with my mum so had a long commute, and was recovering from surgery on a herniated disc. I asked myself a billion times what the fuck I was doing and I smoked A LOT. I remember pulling all nighters the week the dissertation was due and literally wailing at 5am at the kitchen table "it can't be done! It just can't be done!" But it got done. And God knows how stressful it was, and I absolutely hear how stressed you are. I hope both your parents are ok. And if you decide to bow out that's your total right and you don't owe anyone any justifications. But what I will say, 3 years after graduation, that the stress is just a memory, but it's without doubt one of my proudest achievements because it was so bloody hard. When life gets tough now I can remind myself just how tough I am because I went through the worst period of my life and came out the other side with a goddamn masters! And no one can take that away from me. I am not you, and this isn't advice, just my own personal experience. Good luck with whatever decision you make. And enjoy the wedding x

It sounds like you’ve had a very tough time with your health concerns and your parents both being ill, as well as the pension strike etc.

But, I agree with pps who said you might live to regret throwing in the towel. I would say the fact you’re planning to TTC soon is even more reason to get it finished now before you have even more on your plate. It’s much harder to go back to education when you’ve got dcs. I’m considering it now, (I have a 3yo and a baby), and finding the time and money is going to be a lot harder than it would have been if I’d done it before I had children.

If you’re really at breaking point, then is there someone at university you can speak to for help and guidance?

Do you want to work in a field closely related to this specialist topic, or move on to a PhD? Are there jobs that you have your eye on that need a Masters? If not then it seems a shame that your very positive experience with this subject has been marred by doing the Masters at a stressful time. Sounds like now may be the time to put it behind you and move on.

Finish it or you'll regret it. It's not an impossible workload. You just need to get on with it!

Hi OP. Do you need help MSc? Eg for work progression? If not I would just get to the pgdip so you have something to show for all the effort you have put in then get on with your life.

Best of luck with the wedding and ttc.

I felt like this when I was doing my masters. I was so stressed out that I just had nothing left in me to get through the dissertation phase. I deferred for 6 months, used the time to try and get my head together again and then wrote my dissertation. It wasn’t my best work and it was a struggle, but it has absolutely been worth it for me. I would have regretted it if I hadn’t finished the full masters. Only you can know if you will feel like that further down the line.

You can always go back to it later using credit transfer. The credits you have so far won’t be lost.
I’m totally biased though - I withdrew from mine a month ago after taking extensions during a set of trying circumstances. I’m a bit sad about it, but I’m not seeing it as a failure - it was interesting, and I’m glad I started, but with everything else going on, I lost the heart for it.

Sorry to hear all the tough times on this thread, well done to everyone who has completed it

Do you want to work in a field closely related to this specialist topic, or move on to a PhD?

Maybe. It's a very high stress area of politics/social care, think human trafficking and very vulnerable people. I absolutely do no want to do a PHD.

I would do everything to ensure no doors are closed...

As you say, you don't know if this feeling is temporary.... It would be so rubbish if you discovered it was!

I would deffo ask for brief extension if you work so interrupted by strikes? But is this illusory... I'm sure it's a pain... But so much of the learning at masters level is self directed? Perhaps it is just a confidence thing?

Yanbu. I have been doing a masters course and every one of my 4000 word essays constituted a horrendous lump of stress. And like you, I ended up with good grades, but that’s not much consolation when you’re fighting your way through endless citations and structuring attempts. I think 15000 words would tip me over the edge into insanity.

So be kind to yourself if you decide not to continue. It takes a certain kind of courage to decide not to persevere. There are plenty of people who made it home from Everest only because they made the decision - the huge, life-changing decision - to turn back before the summit.

It’s clear that you need a break/want to stop. I would defer for a year and look at it with fresh eyes instead of through the lens of exhaustion both physical and emotional.

I just want to add, as someone who has extensively recruited graduates and who has postgraduate degrees herself, no matter the subject a masters most definitely increases your potential work and earnings. Massively. The subject is less important than the fact you have it. Never underestimate the power of a MSc or MA. Seriously, from a corporate perspective a lot of companies will look at people with them first.

Dont think of it as dropping out.
Think of it as making a new, different choice that suits your current circumstances.

Exit now with the Dip and go back, if you want to, at a later date and complete your dissertation?

I think you need to tread carefully here. I'm only doing an undergrad degree currently so have no personal experience of the stress of a masters (I also absolutely couldn't face doing one straight away despite loving my area of study and scoring well). I study (full time) with the OU, so I have to do all my learning independently reading the materials and do it alongside work and being a single parent. I'm also doing another qualification alongside it and currently in the midst of moving. And that's all I have to cope with on the best days, but when things are going wrong and it seems like the bad things just come one after another it all seems insurmountable- so I get that part.

However, this time every year, right up to the moment I submit my last assignment I have to talk myself out of quitting. I lose all motivation, become convinced I have too much on my plate and I can't do it. Then I submit that last piece of work and it's such a relief and I'm always so glad that I've been too stubborn to quit. I have one assignment left of my whole degree now so I can see the light and feel ok this year. But every other year I've felt like you are now.

The truth is that you are having a really rough ride this year, you probably do have too much on your plate and no one should be judging you if you do decide not to continue. BUT it's such a relatively short time you have left and then it's done. You can cope with too much on your plate for a short while- you know that because you've been doing it. Its reflected in your grades!

Only you will know if, being completely honest with yourself, you'd be disappointed looking back in a few years if you quit. It's what kept me going because I knew if I quit I would regret it.

My sympathies...

I've massively struggled with finishing degrees, due to serious health issues and shit life events...

Things I learnt: in no particular order...

Use the student union people for advice re extenuating /mitigation - they know this stuff backwards.

Don't close down any opportunities early.

Keep a visible list of writing that has gone well... It's reinforcing!

As soon as you know there is likely a problem... Email to ensure your tutor knows. Create an audit trail.

Your writing doesn't have to be perfect... I marked mine off a 1000 words at a time...
27k words sounds a lot, BUT it will feel much better when it is lower...26k,25k etc etc

Can you write stuff out of order?? ... In my subject it was easy sections like the methodology which was quite a whack of words but was an easy write..

Most the marks are usually gained in the first few pages... Make these fabulous!

You're feeling understandably overwhelmed... It's so much more difficult when you're worried about ill parents...

Keep a notebook/list of stuff you need to do... I found I wasted loads of emotional energy worrying about things I may forget... Trello /kanban is good.

Use Pomodoro system.... You only commit to working for next 25 mins then take a break... found this brilliant.... Ots much easier than thinking I MUST do at least 8 hours writing today!

I find I write in unplanned moments... I wrote a 200 words of discussion whilst waiting for my pals in a quiet pub... (yes, no one noticed me talking to myself )

If you don't touch type... Use the dictation software on your iPhone /android... This means you can work anywhere.

Just make it 'good enough ' unless you need a distinction??

IME many employers don't seem to understand what a pgdip is... They appear to understand masters better? For me this reason alone would make me want to continue

It was undertaken out of personal interest, which has now completely vanished

Don’t finish it then. Put your efforts towards something that will bring you satisfaction and a sense of achievement. I quit CIMA and walked out of a well paid job at the final hurdle as I decided I hated it and it bought me no joy at all. I’ve never regretted it.

I’ll also add my DM died in the last month of undergrad degree and I went straight on to my MSc so I understand where you are coming from a personal stress point of view. I really enjoyed my studies and I was motivated to do continue unlike my CIMA exams.

I totally understand how you feel. My world got turned upside down a couple of months before my dissertation was due, I was so so close to giving up but a week before I just knew I couldn't waste the hard work (and money!) I'd put in so far. You absolutely can do it! It's just one last push! Bribe yourself with 1000 words and a small treat, or doing something you like. You literally have 27,000 words left and you have a masters, it's really not that much. Work out how many words you have/ weeks left and just break it up. As for the teaching, you have books for reference and google to understand points, it will be hard but it can be done. Your classmates will be in the same position, go to your lecturers and ask for some time to clarify any points you need. I was told by my first boss I was selected above another candidate because of my masters and have always been glad I did it. You've had a shit year but don't let it beat you. Don't give up, your so close! Good luck!

I fee you. I managed to (just) get my MA dissertation in last summer. I finished it 2 hours before the deadline and threw up on the train home on the way back.
Do the May essays and then see if you think you can hack the dissertation. Can you not ask for an extension due to the strikes and your mitigating circs?

There is always a reason to give up when the going gets really tough...often a very good reason. My marriage went tits up just before an important essay and I phoned my tutor to give it up. There was no way I was coping with anything at all. He persuaded me to continue. He pointed out that I COULD do it if I stuck in there and he was right.

I don’t think I saw my MA as some sort of intellectual zenith. I just did enough to get stuff done and choose an unusual and interesting topic for my dissertation which meant I was excited about doing it. I certainly didn’t kill myself doing it.

I am extremely pleased I did not give it up as it has been useful to my career to have an MA. You are much brighter than I am and can do it if you commit. Your choice, but if you don’t do it now, it’s unlikely you will do it in the future. Good luck.