To beg for help getting through the day.

[PeapodBurgundy]

Shamelessly posting here for traffic. We've been invited to a Christening. We can't really decline the invite, but I'm dreading it.
DS is just turned 2, the thought of getting him to sit quietly through the service and Christening fills me with dread, but then getting him to sit nicely at the afters won't be a walk in the park either. He's used to eating out, so will sit nicely at the table for a limited amount of time. There will be food which will keep him happy for while. After that, he's just going to want to be up and running about, which isn't appropriate at a social club with strangers drinking alcohol, and people carrying food/drinks about. How long do you think we'll have to stay for before we can leave without looking rude? We have a train journey to get to the church, one to get to the afters, then a third one to get home. He's fine on the train in the pram, but we won't be able to take it with us, so he's going to be frustrated before we even get there from wanting to walk around the train and not being allowed to. Any tips how to make it less of the day from hell?

Why can't you take the pram?

Will he be amused with a bag of new things from pound shop (cars etc?) a gift bag of stuff has worked wonders on journies for me when ds was small.

You only have to stay as long a lo can manage. If you really can't take pram then using him needing a nap as a good reason to leave!

Lots of extra entertainment. Though, why can't he be allowed to walk around the train, church and social club? Also why can't you take the pram?

I have a 2 year old and just reading your post filled me with fear.

For the ceremony I would just be ready to take him outside if he starts being loud or refusing to sit. For the after party I would take an iPad or download some apps on your phone. Buy some new colouring stuff so its new and exciting for him as well as some little toys.

Plenty of exercise/ boisterous play before hand.
A bit of walking up and down train is fine.
Little goodie bag of new toys- Poundland bits, wrapped individually to open during service. Favourite snack.
Churches are very sensory- no one will mind a little bit of wandering!
Is it just christening or service with Christening? If it’s just Christening it might be very short!!
I’m sure you can find little bit of space at after to let him play a bit- even outside, or in a corridor.
Leave as soon as you want to- you can always have an awful headache starting!!
It’s the being willing to go and show support, not how long you stick it out.
Relax! If you are stressed he will be too!!

Why can’t u take the pram??

A tablet with games and films? Toys, stickers, snacks, sweets, bubbles, etc.

Why can't you take the pram? I can't think of a good reason.

Take lots of distractions, toys, snacks a tablet with fave shows. Whatever works best for him. It's a christening so by definition a child-friendly occasion and I would be less worried about taking DC than to other formal events.

There's nowhere to leave the pram at either the church of the venue where the afters is (both the same as the Christening of their first born so I semi know what's coming).
DS doesn't nap any more, which unfortunately they know, as we talk regularly and I was complaining I don't get my pregnancy Nana naps any more.
It's not safe for him to be up and about on a moving train, plus I'm not really up to managing balancing on one myself at the moment (I have one leg longer than the other, and SPD so I'm not so steady on my feet, plus I find standing for long periods uncomfortable).
At the previous Christening, there were barely any children on their side, but lots on the other side of the church at the other Christening that was going on after their DD's. They were making a small amount of noise, but I thought to myself id service how nicely behaved they all were, yet they were complained about profusely at the afters, and the parents heavily criticised. It was pre-children for me, so I didn't pay it much attention, but it's filling me with dread now, they won't approve of toys/wandering during the service. I'm hoping to escape to the foyer with DS and his mess free colouring set we usually call on when I need to keep him distracted when out and about.
We don't have an ipad of tablet, and my mobile isn't a smart phone, so no internet. I doubt he'd know what to do with one even if we borrowed one, and I have no clue how to put apps or anything on one even if we could get hold of one for the day.
He has his swimming lesson in advance, so I can hope that subdues him a little, but it doesn't usually to be honest.
I'm not usually phased by going places with DS, he's usually a laid back, well behaved little boy, and I don't usually give a thought about his behaviour when planning an outing, I just pick things to do that It think would be nice. That being said, he's a just turned 2 year old, as with most if not all children this age, he can have quite a short fuse, and when he reaches the end of it, can be very loud. It's the attitude of the other guests which is stressing me out if I'm completely honest. He likely won't behave in a manner they deem acceptable, because he's a child, not a robot.

It's stressful I agree. I've taken DD (now almost 3) to several Christenings and wedding. We usually miss most of the ceremony as she can't keep still/quiet, one of us takes her outside to run around. She enjoys the party afterwards. I follow her round and people are generally tolerant of a cute toddler. When she gets tired/tantrums/destructive we say our goodbyes.

It's nice to go along even if you miss bits of it. People will appreciate you making the effort to turn up, bringing a card and gift etc.

Will there be other children she can play with?

At our church the christening is just a tiny part of the service. Could you take him out until that bit. We have a small chapel which is glass at the back of ours and there is a sound system so you can hear the service but not disturb it. The only bit of the service I would prefer no children in for us the sermon (they keep me awake 😂)

Only been to one Christening here with DS slightly younger at 18 months. I honestly didn't think about it much beforehand and then was when he started babbling in church (he was "calling" to the child being Christened and they were calling back).

But no one complained, it wasn't bad, they just thought it was cute and remarked they were just talking to each other. Why invite a child if they want silence?

But if I'd thought DS was being a pain I would have taken him out. Sit at the back by the door. No one can possibly object to that.

As for the after thingy, do the same. Take him out. Little and often is the way to go.

Stay home?

Our church has a box of toys you can borrow to entertain your child during the service, and no one minds if a toddler wanders about a bit. At a christening, there are usually lots of young families, and they are invited to go out with the Sunday school kids after the Christening bit of the service, so they can do some colouring or run about in the church hall or wherever Sunday school is being held.
Maybe you need to chat to the minister if your own church is not welcoming to young kids.

You take the pram it will have to fold up next to you if neccessary. You take Ds outside if he's too noisy but tbh kids arent expected to be silent in church and you stay long enough at the after bit to eat and then if Ds is unsettled you leave.

You really do need to take a buggy as doesn't sound like you should be carrying DS and having travelled far and wide with small kids IME there is always somewhere to put it! You might need to fold it/squeeze it under or behind your seat/take it with you/chain it to a pole, if you are worried about it being safe?

And you are right. It's not safe, or acceptable, for a 2 year old to be running about on a train. Put him in the window seat and block him in! You must be one of a rare breed of parent these days not to have any ability to use any sort of app for emergency distraction, but our parents managed it so you just need extra of the other suggestions, sticker books, snacks, crayons etc.

The people at this event don't sound very tolerant of kids though. Sounds like you may be judged no matter how hard you try. Is it really worth the effort?