To hate cryptic people

[m0therofdragons]

This is inspired by a friend's dh. Known them for years and still no clue what his job is. It's come up in conversation but he is so vague. My theories are:

1. He's an arms dealer or other kind of illegal activity (but wears smart clothing)... maybe top drug lord?

1. He's a spy.

1. He thinks his job is to intelligent for us to understand.

1. His job is just really dull/he's embarrassed by it.

I have an uncle who has a job he cannot discuss and I understand this but this guy is just cryptic "oh it's kind of like sales but not quite" but then he answers everything like this. Just answer the question. Don't most people know what friends do for a living?

I think people like to know what others do because they want to "place" them and judge where they think they fit in to society. It's such a lazy question to ask. Most people have dull jobs (if you're not an international jewellery thief I'm not interested) so what does it matter? Plenty of things to talk about other than work. Perhaps you've asked so many times not telling you has become a matter of principal?

"It's like sales but not quite" is a perfectly adequate answer - I'd be satisfied by it.

At least he's not one of those bores who goes into the minutiae of his job.

Just how much detail do you want?

I had a friend whose OH used to be very cryptic about his job. All he would say was that he was employed by the civil service, and because of the Official Secrets' Act he was not allowed to discuss what it was he actually did.

Responses varied between thinking he was a self-important twat, and wondering whether he was some sort of spy or something equally exciting.

Turned out he worked in the job centre

I agree about asking what people's jobs are being lazy. I never know what to say DH's job is. He's sort of in sales in a very broad sense but starts up companies in IT but that changes so fast it's hard to pin down. I try to say Entrepreneur but I feel a twat saying it so usually say "I'm not sure" and laugh

Nobody actually cares, they're just making conversation. Just give something concise and understandable. I have a friend who works in a very niche and specialised field. She just says she's a project manager - it's quite an oversimplification but it works for the purpose.

OH works in UX. I've got no fucking idea how to explain that so I just say he designs pants.

I share your pain. I am genuinely interested in other people's work, no matter how dull most people woild find it. Maybe because I've never had an office job.

But equally, as a pp has said, people are very much judged by their work so I can see how he would resent your continued asking.

My first is in day, but never in night,
Next is an article which hides in plain sight.
The rest is the sound of an exclamation,
One usually made to give people a fright.

HTH

Neat, Frenchy

Turned out he worked in the job centre

This made me laugh more than it should have

That took me way too long to figure out @FrenchDucksSayCoinCoin. I blame the lack of Easter chocolate.

Perhaps he's embarrassed about his job? Pyramid scheme?

I still haven’t figured it out. it’s not arse?

**

I just find it weird that we've been friends for 11 years and I still have no idea. I have another friend who manages a data inputting company. The job itself isn't ideal for riveting conversation but how he fell into that job is.

I love discovering what people do, how they got into it etc. I think it's interesting whatever the actual job is. We spend so much time working I do think it's part of who we are even if it's a job you hate... maybe he works for love honey?! 😂

It sounds like he's the one with the problem, not you. I reckon he' s ashamed, rightly or wrongly of his work.

Mine spends all the time he's at work in combats which is a bit of a giveaway!

DB has a job that is very secretive. I know what he does (to an extent) but to anyone who asks he says he works in an office and if they press further he’ll say something along the lines of data input & analysis. Which is a shame, as his actual job is really exciting and I’d be telling everyone. Which is also why I’d be rubbish at his job.

He’s not a spy though, And, no, he doesn’t work for the jobcentre. That made me laugh.

Not with friends but there's no need for neighbours and school parents to know what we do what we might earn

OTH if anyone were to google we come straight up. Which is why my rl is not available to any MNetters.

Often people ask what I do, and it isn’t a conventional job role and not completely defined so when I explain that a lot of people turn the conversations on to themselves. So now I just say I work in x industry and broadly do z.
As a side note, some people don’t like to talk about themselves. Or are just private and don’t like to over share.

To be honest, you sound a bit fixated. Maybe he's holding out deliberately nowadays because you're making that obvious? I mean, he's not even your friend, he's the husband of a friend of yours. Why is it so important for you to know? 'Like sales but not quite' is hardly being unduly cryptic, or putting on International Man of Mystery airs, after all.

What’s the answer to the riddle, French?

French Brilliant!

Not fixated, just occurred to me that after all this time I still don't know. I don't think one post on the subject makes me fixated but okay. I don't ask him anymore as that would be weird. Lots of engineers round here do top secret type stuff but they just say they're engineers.

We have meals together etc so although he's friend's husband we do socialise.

My uncle is an electrician except he makes electronic devices for the government re security. Occasionally his devices are purchased by the armed forces and he can tell us what latest gadget he made but overall he has a fascinating job but can tell us anything.

Please what is the solution to the riddle? I am beyond myself trying to work it out