To be annoyed I'm told what my plans are.

[BottledWaterBubbles]

I have a family member staying with me for a couple of days, visiting from another country. They are having a really hard time and have been really desperate for a break and some time to talk things through and relax. They also have a few health related issues that mean they find social situations difficult. Today is their last full day.

I've been told by DH that MIL is coming over today and will ring before she arrives.

I've asked that she come tomorrow so that I can enjoy the time with my family quietly and so they can keep chatting about their worries (serious worries that DH is aware of) and he has said he's too busy to sort it out now as working and if I want to change the plan I have to ring MIL and to sort it out myself.

For clarification none of my family are in this country and I see them very rarely. His family live two mins around the corner and see me and grandchild whenever they wish.

I'm prepared to be told I am being unreasonable but would it have been too much to ask me if it was ok for MIL to visit or ask her to pop in tomorrow when family member is travelling home again?

Just text your MIL and tell her that there has been a misunderstanding and that you actually have plans for today with your family member and can you see her tomorrow instead.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect your DH not to make plans for you, and if he does and they aren't suitable to cancel them himself. However if he is at work today and can't phone MIL then the only practical solution is to contact her yourself.

Let your MIL know that it's not convenient today and that after your relative is left you'll have all the time in the world for her again.

Then have a firm chat with your husband.

I've been told by DH that MIL is coming over today and will ring before she arrives

Bit rude of MIL to tell your DH she's visiting when he's not there - surely the polite thing to do is to either speak to you to make arrangements or arrange a time when DH is home - he was rude to say she should come

What @DeathStare said.

And if it causes ructions, tough. Sounds like you have your own family crisis going on that he and MIL needs to respect.

What Deathstare said