Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husbands 50th

24 replies

MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 05:52

AM I wrong in feel in hurt that my husband does not it wish to spend a special birthday like his 50th with myself and his young children. He tends to work away a lot and said he’s away with work and will spend it with friends. HE Isnit even the concerned how we feel. SAid its his special birthday and Will spend with who he wants.

OP posts:
allthegoodusernameshavegone · 01/04/2018 06:03

You are not wrong to feel hurt, I would too, but if he’s away with work anyway I would be pleased he’s spending his special day with friends rather than alone. Celebrate as a family when he returns.

InspMorse · 01/04/2018 06:08

On the positive side, he's saving you a load of bother but does he usually just do his own thing? Is he a part-time partner/Dad?

Cirrys · 01/04/2018 06:13

He's away with work so surely he has no choice about not spending the day with you? Could you have a family celebration the following weekend?

Redglitter · 01/04/2018 06:42

If he's away with work he's not really choosing not to spend it with you is he? It'd be different if he was going away with friends. Does it matter not spending the actual day with him you can celebrate it when he's home

daisychain01 · 01/04/2018 06:44

He tends to work away a lot and said he’s away with work and will spend it with friends. HE Isnit even the concerned how we feel

Does he have other redeeming features? If not I'd be struggling with his pronouncement that he's going to do what he wants with no consideration to his family.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 01/04/2018 06:54

Nope, wouldn’t be impressed. I certainly wouldn’t be laying on a special celebration for him on his return. I would, however, be planning my own fabulous fiftieth, to which he may or may not be invited Grin

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 01/04/2018 08:07

I would arrange for a surprise "do" at the weekend. I don't believe in days off for birthdays, sets a bad example to the children.

swingofthings · 01/04/2018 08:16

Is the issue that he wants to celebrate, but not with you or that he actually isn't bothered to celebrate, happens to be away when it is his 50th birthday and so will only do something very low key then?

My OH turned 50 last year. He has tons of friends, family etc... but he just didn't want to celebrate. I thought he would change his mind but he didn't. We only went out for dinner, which could have been any other occasion but that's what he wanted, so respected it. He really didn't want to think about turning 50 as I think the thought depressed him more than anything.

Sirzy · 01/04/2018 08:18

If he is away with work he is away with work.

Do something when he gets back IF that is what he wants. Some people just aren’t big on birthdays, for me birthdays when an adult are just another day

Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 08:34

HE doesn’t Have to be away as he’s booked now holidays for week before and week after. Where he could had changed them on the birthday week. He has no plans to do anything with family or a meal

OP posts:
Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 08:36

THEre is nothing stopping us to go and join him like we would normally but he is adamant we don’t. His behaviour has been very strange for a while now

OP posts:
Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 08:39

He had been talking about husband birthday since last Christmas how he wanted a big party which included fam and friends and now he is not even giving out any information to what he is doing even though he said he has planned what he’s doing. Is that normal not to tell your wife?

OP posts:
ohamIreally · 01/04/2018 08:40

Oh dear your last post is quite worrying. Has he had his head turned do you think?

gingergenius · 01/04/2018 08:58

How odd!

Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 09:23

Yes. It has been playing on my mind we have been together 15 years

OP posts:
kimanda · 01/04/2018 09:27

Doesn't sound good. Very disturbing actually. I would INSIST on going with him.

Why on EARTH would a man celebrating his 50th birthday, not want his wife and kids with him?

Odd.

ThePinkOcelot · 01/04/2018 09:28

That sounds really odd to me tbh. You say he’s been strange for a while now. In what way? Do you think he maybe having an affair?
I do hope not, but could it be a possibility?

GreenTulips · 01/04/2018 09:29

What would e at if you insisted you go?

Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 09:38

I have started to have doubts that he prob is having an affair..

OP posts:
Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 09:38

When I insisted to go he said wel swop places then.. he’s become a totally different character

OP posts:
Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 09:40

Perhaps I should show him the door since he doesn’t care about who he’s hurting. All we hear is it’s his special birthday and kids said more the reason you should be with all of us we are special. No comment

OP posts:
skippykips · 01/04/2018 09:47

Ih OP. You have 2 ways of looking at this, could he be feeling crap about turning 50? Could he be having an affair?
I would be tempted to just 'surprising' him on his bday and turning up.
Probably not the best advice though!

Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 09:48

I had been brushing his changes aside over the year as he was having too many highs and lows I put it down to mid life crisis

OP posts:
Original poster
MAriaTK · 01/04/2018 09:50

I thought of that too just showing up but then I also thought I don’t want to travel all that way to find out he isn’t even there that he’s flewn our elsewhere.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page