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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope that DH would give me an Easter egg?

74 replies

BartlebyTheScrivener · 31/03/2018 22:54

Married ten years, two small DC.
I was hoping for an Easter egg tomorrow, I'm not getting one.
I have a nice one ready to give...not sure if I should bother now..
I'm being ridiculous as Easter eggs are for children, right?
AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
BartlebyTheScrivener · 01/04/2018 09:54

Thanks for all your responses, I appreciate them. Suspect I am just over sensitive after crap couple of years and my mum dying a couple of weeks ago (she always made Easter really special). It seems what couples and families do varies greatly. Previously we have usually exchanged eggs with the occasional year of not after mutually agreeing. I shall take a firm hold of my grip, thanks for that and take note to prime DC/DH next year if I haven't grown up by then! Have a great day everyone whatever you are doing, eggbound or egg less!

OP posts:
BennyTheBall · 01/04/2018 09:55

Mine is under strict instructions NOT to buy me one.

I would eat the lot.

MrsHathaway · 01/04/2018 10:22

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can see how that would make little things feel like big things.

If it's any consolation, I've eaten about 1/3 of my egg (and the five chocolates that came in it) and now feel thoroughly sick. Which I knew would happen Grin 🤦‍♀️

anxious2017 · 01/04/2018 10:25

It would never occur to me to buy another adult an egg

Oop, patronising Mumsnet crazies alert!

Can adults not eat egg shaped chocolate now?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 10:42

Bartleby, I'm very sorry for your loss, Easter must be extremely difficult for you this year. I imagine your husband just hasn't made the connection as I'm sure he would have bought you an egg if he'd realised the significance/importance.

anxious, it's not 'patronising'. Adults can eat chocolate whatever shape they want, they can buy it too. I'm not sentimental about partner gifts but for some women (particularly), it seems to be important that they have tangible tokens of 'love' and validation for what are really non-events in the calendar - and that their partner does this without prompting. Nothing wrong with that expectation but that is what it is.

ShowOfHands · 01/04/2018 11:25

I'm so sorry op. Today must be so hard for you.

Anxiety, it not occurring to somebody to buy an egg for an adult, is not patronising or crazy. It wouldn't occur to me either because my parents never have, I never have and so on. It's just people doing things differently.

g1itterati · 01/04/2018 11:35

No DH does not get me an Easter egg (I don't want all that chocolate) but he did give me the most beautiful flowers this morning. I don't get him anything for Easter, but I do make an effort with lunch. I made Easter baskets for the girls with an Easter egg, some mini chocolate rabbits, pens and a pom-pom making kit. The boys are a bit older so I just gave them a Maltesters egg each and a Lindt rabbit! DH has flowers for his mother, but no chocolate for her either.

LockedOutOfMN · 01/04/2018 11:42

I'd love an Easter egg from DH and have dropped hints but I guess I should just ask outright for one or buy my own. I don't really need to eat chocolate.

So sorry for your loss, OP. You will be thinking of your lovely mum a lot this weekend. Flowers

Share the Easter egg you bought with DH.

Original poster
BartlebyTheScrivener · 01/04/2018 11:42

Thanks Lyingwitch and Showof

OP posts:
SilverBirchTree · 01/04/2018 11:43

I haven’t read all the comments, so sorry if someone has already said this:

Google ‘love languages’

It saved my relationship.

Purplerain101 · 01/04/2018 11:44

I’d find it a bit strange if OH got me nothing as we always get each other something small. He got me flowers this year as I’m trying to lose weight

Khaleesi0 · 01/04/2018 11:58

For the last 5 years I always bought my partner and his little boy an egg each, never got one back ever!

We split last year so only bought for his little boy.

He's got me one this year... Confused

RedSkyAtNight · 01/04/2018 12:05

In our house a couple of weeks ago

DH: do you want me to get you an Easter Egg this year?
Me: If you were getting anything I'd rather have a bar of whole nut
DH: OK
Me: Did you want one this year?
DH: One would always be appreciated :)

Results - DH buys me a big bar of whole nut; I buy him an Easter egg. We are both happy.

Conclusion - talking about what you want is better than expecting mind reading.

Lacucuracha · 01/04/2018 12:12

Yes but in your situation, your DH broached the subject RedSky and will be the one getting them.

The trouble comes when communication always has to be started by the woman.

RedSkyAtNight · 01/04/2018 12:28

lacucuracha projecting somewhat? Nowhere in this thread does OP say that she always starts the communication. In most long term relationships, it makes no odds who brings up a subject.

Forevertired19 · 01/04/2018 12:37

I'd buy yourself one.
My ex is with me as we are expecting ds any day now (he's overdue) and chocolate is making me sick at the moment as I'm unwell. I got flowers instead yesterday which was nice and he didn't have to. I didn't get him anything.

Did he know you wanted one? I'd eat the one you bought or share it with him.

Lacucuracha · 01/04/2018 12:40

RedSky

Where did I say that OP said that?

Mine was a general comment, based on what I see on MN and in RL.

geekone · 01/04/2018 12:48

My DH knows an egg and an advent calendar for me are martially necessary Easter Wink

SnowiestMountain · 01/04/2018 12:48

This irritates me too, I always make a big effort at easter, eggs, hunts, little gifts etc, DH never gets me anything at all Angry

He's excellent at birthdays and Christmas but just rubbish at easter, has been like this for 18 years!

Tweetiepie1000 · 01/04/2018 12:52

I know how you feel OP.

The first year married (we have been together a long while) and I didn’t get anything.
He normally gets me an egg maybe some flowers.

Nothing this year and doesn’t really seem interested that I’m a bit upset about it.

I am on a diet but flowers or something would have been nice, he just didn’t bother to think about me.

Hopefully your DH will get you a huge egg tomorrow to make up for it.

PickAChew · 01/04/2018 13:09

Buy your own, tomorrow, when they're reduced.

user1andonly · 01/04/2018 14:45

Sorry about your mum, OP Flowers

As you usually exchange them, it is a bit of a shame he hasn't thought about it. I wouldn't give him one and have none for yourself, perhaps you could share the one you've bought?

Grammarist · 01/04/2018 15:48

I know how you feel, OP. I got nothing this year either. Live miles away from family, so don't have a thing :(
He used to always get me an egg but we've had a very difficult year and it's basically him not giving a shit.
Go and buy yourself one next week! I plan to use his money to get a reeeeaaaaallly nice one!

AgentHannahWells · 03/04/2018 17:50

I'm sorry about your mum Bartleby. Ime Easter is a very hard time when you are bereaved. All the 'new life' stuff everywhere is very in your face. Two weeks is no time at all. Take care of yourself Flowers

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