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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Rehoming dogs

22 replies

Helpmeplan · 31/03/2018 16:42

I love dogs. I have 2 staffordshire bull terriers and an english bull terrier. Today I saw yet another I need to re-home my dog post on an sbt page on Facebook. Had a quick nosey on their profile (I was being unreasonable doing that) but they only got the dog 21 days ago ffs.

Aibu to think if you love dogs and you want them in your family you don't buy then re-home except in dire circumstances.

I may be biased I love my three as much as I love my children and although there are times I'd re-home the kids I wouldn't really!

OP posts:

PNgirl · 31/03/2018 16:48

I always wondered, who buys a staffie?! There are bajillions in shelters if anyone wants one. It's only when you think about it that you realise these idiots would never be approved to adopt. For a reason.

I think there are some acceptable reasons but "I don't have time to walk it" is not one.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 31/03/2018 16:49

If it's a dog rather than a puppy maybe they inherited then realised it wasn't going g to work out. I had a dog that we took in when my next door neighbor was taken to a nursing home and no one in the family could have it. After a few weeks it was clearly a very unhappy dog living with young children and cats and being left alone even for a few hours so we regimes it to a nice elderly couple who had the sort of lifestyle it was used to. Far better the dog is rehomed than kept and unhappy. You can't always be so quick to judge.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 31/03/2018 16:50

*rehomed

Ylvamoon · 31/03/2018 16:53

There are many reasons...
In the above case maybe it a "puppies are cute" until reality hits home!

Hausfullofgrls · 31/03/2018 16:56

One of my dogs was given to the shelter for "chewing". That's literally all they said. "She chews". Wtf. She's 1. Of course she chews. I give her lots of bones and toys and she's wonderful. Some people are lazy and want a perfectly behaved dog without doing any work.

Original poster

Helpmeplan · 31/03/2018 16:58

PN I won't bash people for choosing to buy instead of rescue. I had to go that route because I couldn't find a rescue who would allow us to adopt at the time due to our daughters age.

ineed I understand that there will be valid reasons to re-home. I genuinely do, but this is a puppy. This person is re-homing/selling for a lot of money. This appears to be the 3rd or 4th puppy they've done it to. It frustrates me to constantly watch people do this without any forethought.

If someone has genuine difficulties for any reason then obviously that is different.

OP posts:

DarkRoomDarren · 31/03/2018 17:01

Yanbu. This really upsets me too, but I suppose rehoming them is the kindest thing they can do, rather than hanging on to the dogs and not caring for them properly.

I know someone who did this twice; bought a boxer, found out it was hard work and gave it to a shelter within a few months. Years later, they bought a pug and did exactly the same thing. I’ve had a low opinion of this family ever since.

DarkRoomDarren · 31/03/2018 17:02

I couldn't find a rescue who would allow us to adopt at the time due to our daughters age

Is that because you wanted a particular breed which doesn’t mix well with young dcs?

Namechangetempissue · 31/03/2018 17:07

I can't look at the Gumtree pets section for this very reason. Hundreds of animals up for rehoming when they have grown out of their cute stage and the novelty has worn off. Granted, some are likely situations where the person involved is in a position that they genuinely can't care for the dog anymore due to housing or financial issues, but the vast majority are just bloody idiots who got the animal on a whim and now can't be arsed.
We have a family at school who rock up with a new pet a few times a year. Said pet (usually a cute puppy but has been a bloody pony) last between 6 week -6 months and then is gone soon to be replaced. Infuriates me.

PNGirl · 31/03/2018 23:07

I'm not bashing people. I'm saying the ones who buy a staffie and then rehome shortly after, because they're out at work all day and or it's chewed because it doesn't get walked, shouldn't be able to either adopt or buy. Unfortunately their money is as good as anyone else's.

Sweetpea15 · 31/03/2018 23:39

We had to rehome a dog who had been rehomed with us because she kept fighting with ours. The first fight we thought ‘this is a territory issue/new dog/new turf’ etc it’s a scrap but it’s done - but it became clear that the original owners had needed to rehome her because she hated other dogs. Flat out couldn’t live with another dog. She would go for mine any time my back was turned or they were left alone together after a few weeks and she was settled (the first few weeks ah was angelic). So I gave her to my MIL who doesn’t work and her cat had recently died, leaving her pet free. Best decision as both dog and MIL are happy and my dog is happy now too.!

But I was fucked off that the previous owners did the ‘we have to get rid of her as we haven’t got the space/time for two and we’ve had the other one longer’ thing and really it was because she was a scrapper. They bought a new pug the week after we took her too which I should’ve realised was a sign.

Whatdoiladymcbeth · 31/03/2018 23:48

Honestly, it breaks my heart. I would have to be absolutely destitute before I even considered parting with my dogs, even then I know I’d do something so that I could keep them. They really are family and I wouldn’t rehome my mum if times got tough (lighthearted!).

RoxyRing · 01/04/2018 00:12

I admit to being a cat slave, but I also love dogs too, how can you not? You either love domestic pets or you don't.

WiddlinDiddling · 01/04/2018 02:33

I used to be very judgey about people rehoming dogs.

Then I became a behaviour consultant (ok I have skipped a couple of decades and thousands of pounds worth of education there, I didn't wake up a behaviour consultant one morning..)

People rehome pets for lots of reasons.

Some of them good - lifes changed, they can't meet the animals needs. Shits gone tits up, they can't meet the animals needs.

Some of them shit - they are arseholes and can't meet teh animals needs, they are lazy cunty fuckers and can't meet the animals needs... they would rather have a PS4 than a puppy.. they can't or don't want to, meet the animals needs..

But ultimately whether the reason is great or shite, the ANIMAL deserves another chance and hopefully an Owner Upgrade.

What I actually get judgey about now, is those people who cannot comprehend that they actually cannot, will not, are not meeting the animals needs sufficiently, and they need to give that animal to someone who can, but they refuse to do so because 'its giving up on them'# or 'i love them' or 'i cant be without them' or 'they wouldn't cope with out me'..

If you can't offer the animal a home taht meets its needs (and I don't mean you have to be the PERFECT home, I mean the basics and a decent quality of life!).. then rehoming is the better option and the kinder option.

Maybe if folk were less judgey about rehoming, less people would lie about why they are rehoming and those animals would find the right new home faster!

MerryShitmas · 01/04/2018 04:11

By the time the rspca was through with me, they cost me over £400 for an elderly tom
Cat with one eye (they told me nobody else wanted him and he was extremely
Close to being PTS) I fell in love with my cat so I paid it and probably would've thrown triple at them I loved him so much, but it someone had told me how much it'd cost I don't think I would've gone. When you can buy a kitten for £15-£40 why bother getting a rescue? And I assume the same goes for dogs too. I know designer "breeds" go for hundreds but you can still get cheap enough mongrels (or could near me!).
I think if more people are to buy from rescues they need to be upfront and honest with regards to the cost and they could also do with relaxing some of their criteria.

SuperBeagle · 01/04/2018 04:36

Some dogs are better off rehomed than they were, or would be, with the family who is giving them up.

I have lived next door to far too many people who buy a dog, leave it in their backyard and then never pay it an ounce of attention again. I would far prefer that they give the dog up.

But you'd have to pry my dogs from my cold, dead hands. There's as much chance of me giving them up as there is of me giving my children up. I love them to the ends of the Earth, and I show them that every waking moment of the day. I'm aware that to many people dogs are still "just dogs", though, as sad as I find that attitude.

Cirrys · 01/04/2018 05:45

YANBU. Especially when people rehome their pets for stupid reasons like "moving house" or "having a baby". I did both, multiple times, and still kept my dog. She's my best friend!

Cicera · 01/04/2018 08:34

DarkRoomDarren
I couldn't find a rescue who would allow us to adopt at the time due to our daughters age

Is that because you wanted a particular breed which doesn’t mix well with young dcs?

Go on Battersea's website. Very few of the dogs are suitable for homes with young children. And then you need to also have one who will be happy living in the city/with other dogs or whatever living situation and it narrows down a LOT.

DarkRoomDarren · 01/04/2018 15:05

Ah I see. Thanks @cicera.

SavoyCabbage · 01/04/2018 15:15

My dc were older (nine and twelve) when we got our rescue dog and we had been searching for months and months for a dog who we could have with dc.

Greyhorses · 01/04/2018 15:18

Mine was rehomed to me because he got too big for his previous owners. He is a german Shepherd so I’m not sure what they thought he was going to be like

witchofzog · 01/04/2018 15:25

I know of a couple who do this . They got a cute westie puppy, spoilt her to bits, got bored and then gave her away. To be replaced by a huge mastiff type puppy who was then given away for getting too big (no shit sherlock) who was then replaced by a kitten who was then replaced by another puppy. This time a Boston terrier who again didn't last. They have also done this Ruth rabbits and fish too. I can't stand them for this reason. They are utter arseholes who joke they would give away their 2 dd's too if they could and I actually don't think they are joking.

I would always get a rescue dog. Mine is a rescue and he is amazing. And I certainly would never advertise a dog for rehoming on a bloody selling site where you really have no idea where they are going.

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