Does intelligence fade away with age if you have too many hard knocks?

[CheerfullyLost]

I was always considered to be a very bright child and teen. However, I've struggled all my adult life. I keep going and get a lot of happiness and joy out of the good things in my life so I'm very lucky, despite having significant anxiety problems.

My parents didn't raise me and my adoptive father didn't really want me. My adoptive mother was amazing but died when I was in my 20's. I became chronically ill as a child which for the first few years I was ok with. Then first had depression in my teens, which developed into anorexia, which I've resolved now. In recovery for over a decade and feeling good.

I spent my twenties in a haze of pain, dropping out of university countless times, jwalking out of jobs, trying to cope with my grief and re build my health. At my worst point, I tried to end my life.

I still don't have a career. I'm in a good place emotionally now (mostly! apart from anxiety) but I feel stupid. Financially I am very insecure and I feel like all of my brain energy is devoted to figuring out ways of staying afloat at a very basic level - having a roof over my head, enough to eat.

It bothers me that everyone who has known me since my twenties just sees an unsuccessful car crash of a person, because factually, that is sort of who I am.

Is this just something that happens because I wasn't tough enough to cope with what life threw at me - has it causes any innate intelligence I had as a kid to just fade out?

You poor thing, sounds like you've been through the wringer but well done for getting through it all.

I don't think intelligence fades but I do think there are circumstances where it doesn't get a chance to flourish (mine isn't flourishing right now because I'm at home with two young children!) Your energy is focused on staying afloat. Would you have the time to give to reading a book on something that interests you? Something that might help you cultivate your intelligence?

But you were tough enough! You did cope and you have survived

Who cares what others think? They haven't experienced what you've been through. Chances are that no one sees you as a "car crash" anyway, as they are too busy worrying about their own problems. Even if someone did think you were a "car crash", don't you think that would indicate a lack of awareness, empathy and intelligence on their part? Do you value the opinion of someone like that?

You have the rest of your life stretching ahead. Would it be possible to train for a career now, if a career is a priority for you? Or even just a night course studying something you're interested in for the sake of it and see how it goes? Sounds like the time is right for some intellectual stimulation.

No. But I think you are probably looking at intelligence in the wrong way. I bet you have a lot of wisdom and savvy and could get yourself out of difficult situations and have more insight into humanity than a lot of your friends have.

I think you said it yourself, a lot of your brain energy is devoted to staying afloat.
It’s very unlikely that you have lost intelligence if you haven’t had an illness or injury that affected your brain.
Anyway, it’s generally held nowadays that there are several types of intelligence, not just academic. Emotional intelligence is also important.
You have been through rough times and as a result you have experience as well as intelligence.
You sound like you are putting yourself down a lot in your own mind.
It’s difficult in this world not to measure your worth in terms of your income, but if you have happiness then you are richer than many wealthy people.
Life would be pretty boring if we all wound up exactly where we expected when we started out, and it can be hard to remember your achievements if you’re not satisfied with where you are at this particular time.
You have done so well to get your mental health on track, and to lose your mum as a young adult would have been so hard.
Give yourself credit.
Careers can zigzag around a lot and people who look secure now might not be in the future, so we all have to roll with it sometimes.
Most people should understand that, if not then they are the ones lacking in intelligence.
Be kind to yourself, and keep on keeping on.

Thank you for your thoughtful insights

I know there are different forms of intelligence, that's a fair point. I guess I'm remembering how much I used to enjoy being able to read about different subjects or theories and be able to understand it immediately and retain it. I was a good at debate and good at problem solving. My brain used to feel like it was sharp and full of ideas. Now it's all fuzzy and dreamy

Because of chronic illness and fatigue, I try to accept it as brain fog, hoping it will clear someday.

But a lot of the time, I really worry in case it's a more profound permanent loss.

Firstly, well done on surviving! It sounds as if you are not attaching enough importance to what you have survived!

Secondly, I think our attachment to how things "should be" causes so much harm - this is why people overspend, assume that something/someone will be there to catch them if things go wrong, and why they feel cheated by life. Whether you have or not, which we probably can't diagnose over the internet, a good place to start is to stop comparing yourself to how you should be and be kind to yourself as you are. Start telling yourself nice things, and making the most of your situation.

You can certainly try to get yourself assessed, I would recommend vitamins in case of a deficiency. Your priority does need to be security, and it might be that once you are not in the position of being constantly stressed that other things will fall into place.

I'm not entirely sure, intelligence is a broad spectrum, which covers many areas.

You could always google 'Impacts on intelligence in adulthood' maybe there's been a study or two done.

I think academic ability may fade to an extent (I was a real maths whizz, now I'm lost beyond doing a household budget! ) but I think that's because there's a whole lot of focus on retaining knowledge until your next exam, nobody ever refreshes it really (unless you use it in your job) once you leave education. So much like a language some abilities may fade, but I don't believe that to be a measure of intelligence. Plus, you'll have a lot more "street smarts" and awareness than someone who's led a sheltered life - not that it's a trade off, by any means, but that knowledge is bloody good to have in life.

I don't think I have much in the way of street smarts!

Do you mean assessed for vitamin deficiencies? I take a vitamin D spray already as it's on the low side. B12 was checked and was ok too.

Cheerfully have a read of this article - it might be interesting. qz.com/1101541/behavioral-economics-has-a-plan-to-fight-poverty-and-its-all-about-redesigning-the-cockpit/

It examines research which (paraphrased) basically says that we have a finite amount of mental bandwidth and that if it is being used up to focus on one thing, it can't be utilized for something else. The article looks at it in the context of poverty. It suggests the constant, exhausting decisions a person living in poverty has to make - 'Do I buy food or heating? Can I pay my electricity bill' - comes at a cognitive cost. I don't think it's a huge leap to think that the emotional impact of all that has happened sapped your capacity to use your skills to the best of your abilities. That doesn't mean your intellect has ''faded' - it just means you were grappling with so much, you didn't have enough in reserve to meet your full potential.

That article is incredibly interesting!

I can identify so much with running out of bandwidth. After parking the worry about finances, there's usually something to do with my chronic health problems to sort out that needs attention.

I often feel guilty for not putting my health first when I'm trying to cope with a money crisis.

Then I'll feel guilty for putting my health first at the expense of trying to find better work or more hours.

And so it goes, over and over again. There's literally no room left to focus on other tasks that require much concentration. So I'll watch Netflix instead of studying something.

I've been trying to study languages by myself, which I think is good for brain health and also maybe would help with getting a good job. But I run out of steam and will have periods of weeks where I can't manage study when my health is not so good.

I have been you and was later found to have extremely severe b12 deficiency, at my worst I could barely complete an easy sudoku puzzle

Even now whenever my levels dip I can feel my processing speed slow down, and take extra

If you do try B12 make sure it’s methyl cobalamin and take folic acid too as you need one to absorb the other adequately

Alot of things such as Iron Deficiency, B12 Deficiency etc can cause this "brain fog" feeling. As you mentioned poverty, Vitamin deficiency would be the first thing that I would think of as causing your symptoms. Luckily, you can get multivitamins for about £1.50 from supermarkets now (I have no idea how good they are!). I have found sometimes stress can do this as well, feeling you have so much to do that actually, you end up doing nothing. Ten minute bursts of anything are great - you don't feel overwhelmed, you get things done, and you can reward yourself in between them.

If memory is a problem, try the mind mapping "trees" with your studying so you can see concrete evidence that you have studied. If your brain won't cooperate, say the words out loud and they will eventually sink in.

Another effect of stress is the negative internal monologue in your head, which is why I said be kind to yourself. For example "I am a car crash, everything fails for me, why even study I will just fail. I don't even know why I'm bothering, who am I fooling" That there is setting yourself up to fail. If you try saying "I love myself and I'm going to support myself whether I fail or not, regardless I am going to try my hardest to succeed, and not blame myself if I don't." Set yourself goals you can achieve and be proud of, even if it's 10 minutes of reading a page out loud!

please, OP, you are not a 'car crash' of a person, you have done fantastically...
you would not talk to a friend that you were advising like that would you? Could you change the way you talk to yourself? Imagine that you're a friend, ?

It made me think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/our-hierarchy-needs
You are doing a great job in difficult circumstances. All your energy is currently being used to keep those basic needs intact. Your intelligence hasn't deminished - it's just being used where you need it to be used at this present moment. The fact that you can still access so much positivity and analysis of your situation suggests a high level of emotional intelligence. I hope things get easier for you. You deserve to feel proud of yourself.

I try to remind myself that fact I successfully navigated my way through a lot of crap. And that does feel good, to be as happy and together (ha, well sort of) despite all the crap.

The part that is worrying is what if I simply never manage do any better than just hand to mouth living.

I can relate so much to most of what you’ve written here, OP, and I’ve been wondering the same thing.

I miss that sharp brain feeling, but the thing I miss the most is the ability to feel joy, happiness, pleasure.

My material circumstances sound more favourable, but I’d give almost anything to be happy. Hold on to being happy, because it’s the most precious thing.