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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get irritated at people who try to dictate what others do but then do the opposite themselves?

19 replies

EllaLavella · 31/03/2018 13:05

Sorry for the long slightly confusing title!

A woman that I know, whom I originally met at a well known antenatal/baby group (I'm sure you can guess which one!) is on the verge of being deleted from my FB friends as she's so dictatorial and opinionated and always telling everyone what to do, yet then goes and does what she has told us all not to do herself!

It started when we were all pregnant; her with her first baby and most of the rest of us with our second or third. She spent ages telling us all how we shouldn't have an epidural and sharing things on social media about epidurals being for the weak and that kind of thing. Guess who then had an epidural at her birth?! Yep, she did! Then bleated for ages about how hers was exceptional circumstances.

Then the babies were born, and we were all subject to hours of her going on about where babies should nap (crib, not car seat, dark room, no noise) and how we should all breastfeed. A few weeks down the line her child is napping in his car seat every day and she has stopped breastfeeding. Again hers were apparently exceptional circumstances and we should all still do as she dictated to us.

Then there's all the stuff on social media; statuses saying things like "Anyone who swears on FB will be deleted from my friends list. There's no need for foul language". Yet she is always swearing on FB!

And now the kids are older and at school she has in recent years been posting lots of statuses and articles on her Facebook about taking children out of school to go on holiday and how it's wrong and how she would stop being friends with anyone who thought it was ok to do this. Anyone in our group of friends who has done this had been subject to long lectures from her. But guess what? Now she and her husband are taking their kids out of school for TWO WEEKS to go to Florida. And once again hers is exceptional circumstances and none of us plebs should take our kids out of school, it's just that hers is the holiday of a lifetime.

AIBU to find her fucking irritating?!

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KellyBailey · 31/03/2018 13:08

She sounds like a twat, I'd unfriend her in a heartbeat. You don't have to stay friends with someone just because you gave birth in the same month. I'm amazed you've tolerated her this long if the children are now school age.

EllaLavella · 31/03/2018 13:09

I know lol! I feel like I deserve a medal! She's such a pain in the arse!

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BrazzleDazzleDay · 31/03/2018 13:12

How long have you suffered this twat? Delete and block.

EllaLavella · 31/03/2018 13:13

9 years!

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expatinscotland · 31/03/2018 13:14

Get rid of her.

Megatron · 31/03/2018 13:16

Oh I think everyone knows one of these!

EllaLavella · 31/03/2018 14:23

They do seem to be quite a common breed don't they! So weird how they think they can dictate to people. The woman that I know is very pampered and spoilt too by her parents and husband so clearly thinks that is she tells the world to jump everyone will ask her how high!

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BrazzleDazzleDay · 31/03/2018 22:05

9 years?!?! Jesus christ ella you're either nuts or a glutton for punishment. Get her told then block her

Gartenzwerg · 31/03/2018 22:26

Total arsehole. Move on to better things.

EllaLavella · 31/03/2018 23:22

I suppose I've tolerated her as part of the friendship group but I've had enough of her now

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EllaLavella · 02/04/2018 19:11

Finding out the sex of babies before birth was another thing she lectured us all on; saying that scans are for diagnostic purposes not for finding out the sex of a baby. But guess who found out the sex of both her kids at the scans?! Yep!

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ALongHardWinter · 02/04/2018 19:31

I think most people know someone like this! Mine was my exSIL. I can remember going out for a meal with my exH (her brother),her and her OH and another couple. She asked me what I was going to have to eat. I said 'I'll have the cod and chips'. She said,accusingly, 'You ALWAYS have cod and chips! Why don't you have something different for a change?' I asked her what she was having. 'Oh,just my usual,steak and jacket potato'. I said 'But you ALWAYS have that!' Why don't you try something different?!' She replied 'Oh no,I couldn't do that,the steak in here is to die for'. I pointed out that the cod and chips was too.

EllaLavella · 02/04/2018 20:38

It's so annoying isn't it how they preach and go on about things then do exactly what they've lectured to us not to do, but it's always different for them because of X Y or Z bullshit excuse?

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Busybusybust · 02/04/2018 20:42

Why on earth do you bother with her when she’s sooo irritating?

Just delete her from Facebook and never contact her again.

SachaStark · 02/04/2018 20:52

I have one of these on Facebook, too, but I happily keep her for the purposes of DH and I giggling over her statuses and shares together.

EllaLavella · 02/04/2018 21:14

Busybusy I have now deleted her from FB but will unfortunately come into contact with her occasionally via mutual friends.

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Pinkvoid · 02/04/2018 21:33

I think it’s incredibly easy to be sanctimonious during your first pregnancy when you have literally no fucking idea what’s around the corner. I’m fairly certain most people will have been in the ‘no epidural’ and breastfeeding camp but when the pain and exhaustion actually hits you, there’s just no knowing what you might do.

Having said that, she sounds like a preachy hypocritical twat and I’m surprised you didn’t delete her a long time ago. You can also hide her posts tbf.

EllaLavella · 02/04/2018 21:43

Oh she's like it in person too.

Even after the birth of her first child she was still preaching about not having epidurals even though she'd had one as she found her first birth too painful. she then had an elective section for her second even though she had always preached about how she didn't agree with sections as they weren't a 'proper birth experience'

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EllaLavella · 03/04/2018 15:14

And now a different person is at it too; someone who is an MLM bot and totally spams her FB with adverts has put a status on saying anyone who puts business advertising on their FB will be swiftly deleted from her friends list as she 'doesn't want to read a load of business stuff'

Honestly, you couldn't make these twats up!

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