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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to want to teach my 4yo to swim?

35 replies

Fruitbat1980 · 31/03/2018 11:15

My DS loves playing with water, but doesn’t like being in it much? I’m hoping to convert him this summer with several holidays planned in villas with pools.
How have you got your water shy child in the water? What aids did you use? I’m completely bloody overwhelmed, rubber rings? Arm bands? Foam arm bands, life jackets, wtf.
I know I Abu not to have spent the last 4 years at little dippers or whatever but frankly our local pools are grim and I’ve been working.
I need to play catch up and last summer involved me standing in pool trying to coax/ bribe him in help!

OP posts:

SharkSave · 31/03/2018 11:20

A lot of places run school holiday crash courses? Would that be an option? Otherwise I'd say take him yourself as often as possible to get him used to it.
My DC are younger and do lessons and they use woggles, floats and those shark fin things. Never arm bands or water wings etc. It's all things that can be taken away iyswim so they get used to how they feel in the water (if that makes any sense)

Spudina · 31/03/2018 11:20

I enrolled DD2 in lessons as soon as she was three. I wish I had started her sister earlier now. They use 2 foam armbands on each arm and a belt in lessons. As they progress, they take off the armbands first and then the belt.

Spudina · 31/03/2018 11:21

Ps the foam armbands are awesome. No faffing about trying to blow them up, which I never mastered!!

Stormwhale · 31/03/2018 11:22

I think the only way is proper lessons. My daughter is 4 and has come on leaps and bounds since starting her lessons in September. The teachers are used to dealing with nervous children, and build their confidence gradually. I think swimming lessons are essential really. Dd has gone from liking water, but being nervous around it, to confidently jumping in, swimming without armbands at times, easily performing a star float (v important for safety if she were to fall in water), climbing out by herself, and understanding safety in the water. Her lessons have been absolutely worth the money.

Stormwhale · 31/03/2018 11:23

Oh and she uses the foam arm bands. She started on 3 each side, now usually has 1 each side and practices without too.

LannieDuck · 31/03/2018 11:24

A week's course in the summer sounds like it would work. I did baby lessons with both DD1 and DD2. DD1 took them wonderfully, but DD2 developed a fear of the water.

So I found different lessons where they'd give her loads of floats, let her go back to basics and not make her do anything she didn't want to do. We've been going there about 2 years now (she's 4), and last week she finally swam a few meters by herself with no aids! So proud of her :)

So I would advise a course of proper lessons going at DS's pace, so you can see what techniques and exercises/games they use.

Screaminginsideme · 31/03/2018 11:31

I never used arm bands. Play in the shallow end if they are nervous, watering cans and noodle floats. Make getting their face wet fun. Have some bits for them to reach the floor and pick up.
Get them floating on their back either with the noodle or with you holding their head.
Just have lots of fun.
Once they are relaxed in the water get some lessons

Tackytriceratops · 31/03/2018 11:35

I did a lot of water confidence in the bath as my son loved swimming but hated face in water.

I showed him how I would dip my own face in and hold my breath and close eyes etc. We ended up using slo mo videos of him as he found it hilarious and wanted to do it in order to watch the video.

I agree lessons are the best idea, it may take a while to build that confidence to go in and play around but once they start going under the water (goggles help) they just take off.

Tackytriceratops · 31/03/2018 11:35

And not BU as it's a life skill as well as a health and safety consideration.

Tackytriceratops · 31/03/2018 11:37

Arm bands inhibit the development of confidence in a small pool where they can touch the floor. A noodle is useful but best to allow as much splashing around with feet touching floor, and you near by.

I used arm bands on holiday in out of depth pools.

celtiethree · 31/03/2018 11:38

SwimFin is s great swimming aid. And fun for kids too, plus doesn’t impact movement of arms.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 31/03/2018 11:41

Arm bands don't give the correct body position for swimming, use a foam woggle under their armpits and this helps them have the correct body position. Start in this position kicking the legs then move on to arms and legs.

But to begin with if they don't like being in water find a pool with a beach style entry and just spend time sitting in the water gradually increasing the depth. A good way of doing this without them noticing is playing catch but accidentally throwing the ball a little further out so they have to move a bit to get it.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 31/03/2018 11:41

Sorry noodle not woggle!

ErrolTheDragon · 31/03/2018 11:45

The potential downside of a week's course is that this makes it something they have to do. At 4, they may or may not be ready for this.

FWIW, my DD was 'water shy' at this sort of age - she enjoyed playing in shallow water, or with the sort of aids such as rubber rings and noodles which are very supportive but don't allow real swimming. She did have weekly lessons from about 4 but wasn't keen and I'm pretty sure a whole week course would have been counterproductive.

Fast forward .... she's now a water sports enthusiast.

4 is still very young. If your child likes the idea of a special course, go for it - but if they're really not keen then it may be better to wait a year or two until they're physically and emotionally more mature.

I need to play catch up ... you really don't. Catch up with who? Acquiring skills such as swimming or cycling is not a race.

jaseyraex · 31/03/2018 12:03

Definitely not unreasonable to want to teach him. Could he do some lessons over summer? Or is there anyone that could take him after school/at the weekend if you can't? My almost 3 year old has just started lessons and it's all about getting them used to the water and getting their face wet and things like that at the beginning. He's still not keen but he seems to be getting better!

I'm 26 and can't swim. I started adult lessons a few months ago which I find mortifying but I don't want to have to sit by the edge of the pool on holiday too scared to get in. I don't want my kids to be the same as me.

LannieDuck · 31/03/2018 12:34

tacky I love the idea of slo-mo videos! I might nick that....

LannieDuck · 31/03/2018 12:37

jasey good luck with the lessons.

I only found out recently that my Mum's afraid of water, and my Dad couldn't swim when I was born. Apparently he took lessons when I was a baby. I had no idea about either of them - they both took me and my sister swimming when I was a child, so we've grown up perfectly comfortable around water.

BitchQueen90 · 31/03/2018 12:39

Proper lessons.

My DS started them in September, he's 4 (almost 5 now). Previous to that he wouldn't go in the pool unless I was there holding him and he'd scream bloody murder if I tried to get him to stand in it by himself. Now he loves it and can almost swim unaided.

I'm not usually one to try and push kids to do things before they're ready but I think learning to be confident in the water is important. I'm not a strong swimmer myself and can't bear having my head underwater, I want DS to be more confident than me.

Seniorcitizen1 · 31/03/2018 13:07

Formal lessons are not necessary unless he wants to swim competitively at a later date. Take your child to a pool as often as you can and teach him yourself. My dad who could not swim taught me and I taught my son. I am not sure being able to swim is a life skill or health and safety issue - I have been able to swim for over 50 years and never ever had to use this skill.

ErrolTheDragon · 31/03/2018 13:22

I'm not usually one to try and push kids to do things before they're ready but I think learning to be confident in the water is important

Pushing them before they're ready may exacerbate rather than cure the reluctance.

Also, I slightly take odds with whether it's necessarily a good thing for a young child - say, preschooler/ks1 range - to be 'confident' in the water. If their confidence exceeds their ability or nous, and overrides natural caution, it can be a bad thing (one very confident child I knew had a near miss when, in a moment when his parents attention was distracted decided to see what would happen if he put armbands on his ankles....)

So, while the OP is certainly not BU to want to teach her 4yo to swim, it's not reasonable to worry too much about needing to 'catch up' yet awhile.

thatsmyjoomper · 31/03/2018 13:25

Are there any really fun pools you could take him too even if it means travelling a bit further? Little slides, bubble pools etc so he's happy to actually go in? Once he's happy to go in the water you'll hopefully be able to get him to go for swimming lessons as he will be more confident in water.

lostherenow · 31/03/2018 13:34

Yes I would just spend time at sessions where they have floats, toys and little slides. My 4 year old just started lessons, a year ago he could not have done it as he was not ready. He is now making good progress but very much because he is confident in the teacher, a crash course with older kids certainly would not have worked.

Original poster

Fruitbat1980 · 31/03/2018 13:50

Thanks all for the great advice. I will look for some ‘fun’ lessons. And some of the float suggestions rather than armbands/ rubber ring.
I am terrified of the water (but can swim, just) I don’t even put eyes under shower as freaks me out. So definitely don’t want him to know or see my fear!

OP posts:

Paddingtonthebear · 31/03/2018 13:57

Anything attached to the body (arm bands, arm rings, back fins/back floats) does not position the child correctly in the water, they teach unnatural alignment which can be hard to correct - a foam woggle / tube they can hold on to is best.

Ohhgreat · 31/03/2018 14:04

I had a similar DS at 4, would paddle happily but not swim at all. Around that age we went on a couple of Haven type breaks with a swimming pool every day and he got to see my DH messing about jumping in and generally being silly in the pool. That did it and all of a sudden DS wanted to swim! Enrolled in swim lessons when we got back and now at age 10 DS is a strong swimmer.
And no you definitely don't need to try and catch up, all kids do things at different times!

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