To be disappointed in this friend

[Erewegoagainandagain]

Originally posted on WWYD but more traffic here......

Someone I considered one of my closest friends seems to have gone cold on me since I had another baby.

She has teens, as do I, so It's not as though we have nothing in common anymore. It's not jealousy as she definitely doesn't want any more kids and is happy with the number she has. However, she always seems too busy to meet up and, on the rare occasions we do, seems totally disinterested in DD - I swear I caught her rolling her eyes once when her conversation flow was interrupted due to me needing to attend to DD!

Judging by her Facebook feed, although she hasn't actually said, I suspect she would prefer to meet in the evening minus kids in the pub. Unfortunately, that's logistically tricky for me. Besides, I'm knackered and not keen on drinking alcohol these days.

I have other less close friends in a similar position to her who have been far more interested and involved. I'm so disappointed in her, It's really not what I expected at all. I had always thought she would be godmother - certainly not now, she hardly knows DD!

So do I carry on letting her reject me all the time, confront her or just not bother with her at all? I feel so torn as she was once a lovely friend

Jealous i doubt it.

My ds is a teen and i am loving my new lease of life. There is no way i would go back to the baby stage.

OP you just need to appreciate that her life and your life are different now.

Shes not jealous, she just not interested in your baby.
Unless a baby is yours people are just not interested and after a couple of sentences asking after them then thats enough for most people.
I'd just leave her alone for a bit then meet up just for an hour or so for a coffee by yourself if you can and dont talk about your baby for more than 1 minute.

I love babies, love the baby stage, love the cuddles.

But I had my dc young, so when my then friends were jetting off round the world etc I had my babies to look after.
Now my youngest is 10yo, I have a freedom to do things I haven't had for nearly 20 years. I love that I can go and meet a friend for coffee without having to keep it short because the toddler is bored or go out without having to worry about babysitting etc.

If one of my close friends found they were pregnant, I'd be delighted for them. I'd love to go round for cuddles, and admire the baby. But I'd be a bit bored with going back to only non-adult meet ups. No I wouldn't expect them to leave the baby behind, but I would be less keen to meet up as regularly.

This is really common unfortunately, my friends have changed completely since having children and the ones I am close with now are the friends with children, similar ages to mine.

My best friend since primary school, (I'm now 40) has not even met all my children as she has no interest in kids and coming to visit. I tried to meet up with her with out kids a couple of times a year but actually now I realise she not only had no interest in my children, but she's had no interest in me since I had kids. She had pre conceptions about my life and actually she's not a true friend.

Enjoy your baby and move on