AIBU- to be sick of people asking me if I’m still single/why I’m still single!!

[Mummymia2]

Nothing irritates me more than people interfering in my life, especially when I get bombarded by family, friends and even some work colleagues about the current status of my love life or lack of!

I’m perfectly happy for now, I’m a busy single mum. I work full time and study part time with little help from my dd’s dad. I’m fine with all that, life is what it is and I’ll just carry on making the best life for us that I can. Sure having someone else would be nice but it isn’t essential to my happiness, if it happens it happens.

I’m just so tired of people asking and prying! My mum and Nan are the worst my nan particularly “when are you going to find some lovely young man” or “I hope I live long enough to see you get married” and so on...

Anyone else get tired of this?

I really want to reply with how’s your marriage going..? Oh right that’s none of my business like my being single is none of yours!!

Rant over lol

I see what you mean... but I've always thought it was a compliment. You know, in a "You're so lovely why haven't you been snapped up" kind of sexist way.

Tell them you are fussy!

Lol I can see what you mean.... I’ve had it all suggestions that I should become lesbian, that perhaps I just need a friend with benefits....face palm

They do it because they want to see you settled and happy, albeit in a traditional way.

Plenty of threads on here with relatives who don't give a flying feck .... be grateful yours do

Back in the 70,s people asked my gay brother why he wasn't married in his 30,s he always said he didn't want to rush into anything !

It's appalling. For so many reasons:

1. that people think its OK to ask that kind of question as if your love life is their public property
2. the assumption that your life is incomplete without a man
3. that your family who are supposed to have your back, love you as you are and not put pressure on you would ask that of you
4. it puts you under pressure to find a man when actually you need to focus on your children and yourself and there's no way you should bring a man into the mix until you're 100% sure he is the right man for obvious reasons I shouldn't be shocked but I still am that people trot out this appalling shit I think I'd have a standard response along the lines of: "I'm single because I like being single." And don't engage.

I get asked 'have you met anyone yet'.
I have been single four years after being in relationships (2) for over 20 years. My exh was a complete bastard and broke me in a million pieces. I don't want to ever be in that situation again.

NewYearNewMe18

"They do it because they want to see you settled and happy, albeit in a traditional way.

Plenty of threads on here with relatives who don't give a flying feck .... be grateful yours do."

Seriously? The OP, who is a single mum, should be grateful for having people put pressure on her to bring a man into hers and her kids' lives just for the sake of having a man? How can that be a good or positive influence? That kind of advice just leads people to attach themselves to the first Tom, Dick or Harry to turn up. Kids suffer so much because women who are managing just fine on their own feel huge pressure to hook up and shack up with someone. Jeez...

Pinotmwah you’ve hit the nail on the head! I understand my family care, but why can’t they just accept I’m happy the way I am for now.

I don’t ask them how their relationships are going/how their marriages are etc because it’s private and absolutely none of my business.

I’d take it on the chin if it was an occasional comment but it’s daily, trying to set me up with people they know despite my constant saying that I’m fine. I find it disrespectful and like they can’t just accept me the way that I am, perhaps I’m being over sensitive but after 3 years it’s begins to irritate to say the least!

When my Nan asked me this about 15 yes ago my Dad wonderfully said well she is sensible, absolutely love him for this. To others now I just reel off not wanting to be part of the patriarchal hegemony of modern life. Generally shuts the conversation down 😂😂

I'm 47 and have been a single man all my life but I don't get enquiries about my private life any more. I think folk have either got the message, got fed up of asking or accepted that this is the way it is.

I appear to have destroyed the thread. I'm very sorry.

Yes I can remember being asked on more than one occasion why I didn’t have a boyfriend . Usually by smug settled down people . My sil who is very tactless made a comment one time about seeing me as the elderly spinster aunt to her kids in years to come .
In fact I was the first person to get married and have kids . I just don’t get why people feel the need to ask these questions . I now get asked if my teenage dds have boyfriends .

I get this a lot too! "Have you got a boyfriend yet?" "Why are you still single?" "I'm sure you'll find someone soon" "I don't know why you're single, you're gorgeous"

Because God forbid an attractive and intelligent woman is independent and happy and doesn't require a relationship with a man to fulfill her.

Sometimes I want to reply "how are you still married?" But I don't because I know the people asking these stupid questions mean well and clearly don't know any better!

I get this by proxy regarding my DD who is 23. Never mind the fact that she's independent, has a good career and a nice flat...she is judged for not having a man to complete her life and it's the first question people ask me about her!