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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids playing outside

36 replies

Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 15:38

The area where we live is like an estate. They're terraced houses with no road In between them. The houses are opposite one another in a big row.

So the kids who live on this estate if you like, they're nice kids. Decent kids but their parents obviously don't care about them. (the 6 year old boy was found swimming in the canal last summer. Ex dp had to try and get him out and the parents did nothing about it) we occasionally hear abuse too through closed windows and the walls that join the houses are incredibly thin. We've only heard this a few times though.
So the kids are left to run riot. The not so lovely neighbours also have a giant bouncy castle they like to inflate in the front of the houses. I was heavily pregnant with dd and could not gain access to my properly because of this bouncy castle and then they left it up til midnight so I got in touch with environmental health. They've also don't it while dd was a few months old and all the kids screaming kept her up past 1am. So I phoned 111 to report it. It was soon taken down.

The winter is bliss as the kids don't go out.
But we have a tiny window from our living room looking out to the houses. My cat likes to sit on here and the kids think it's okay to go up to the window, tap in the glass (which freaks me out at night due to ptsd, anxiety) and my cat starts to hiss etc.
They also have this really really loud tractor that they race up and down the front (an they've crashed into dd whilst I was carrying her in her car seat and some shopping. I was livid. Luckily she was fine!) no apology though. Constantly screaming keeping her awake and I'm due to have another baby any day now. With dd last summer the kids hassled me and any visitors I had asking to play with the baby every time I stood out the door. They've also played on my front garden and ruined all my flower beds, in winter I've had snowballs with rocks lobbed at the house and windows and constant Knocks at the door.

I have two young children now and I'm fed up of having to go through my back gate to exit my properly without myself or my very young dcs getting followed by children. The little boy tried to get into my mom's car once too and ask where she was going.

Aibu this summer to tell them to be quiet at least? I can't do a lot against children playing and it's better they're out with friends than on their consoles, but last year I got so fed up with the constant screaming all day, the tractor racing up and down, dd constantly being woken up and the hassling of any visitors. I did try and ask their parents last year to see if they could tell them to keep the noise down so dd could sleep and I essentially just got laughed at. It wouldn't bother me, but there's a park around the corner :(

OP posts:
Idontbelieveinthemoon · 30/03/2018 15:45

Aibu this summer to tell them to be quiet at least?

I did try and ask their parents last year to see if they could tell them to keep the noise down so dd could sleep and I essentially just got laughed at.

You asked them last summer and you were ignored and laughed at but you want to know if you'd be U to ask them again this summer?

Doing the same thing to the same people and expecting different results is a bit mad. If it's that terrible phone the local council's noise abatement people every time. However, I do think you sound a little oversensitive and need to remember that your own DC will be old enough to play outside in a few years time - will you be happy for your neighbours to assume you don't care for them because you let them play out?

JaniceBattersby · 30/03/2018 15:46

With the greatest will in the world, you’re going to have a job expecting kids to play quietly in the street. The rest of it sounds pretty low-level really, apart from the canal bit.

RestingBitchFaced · 30/03/2018 15:48

It doesn't sound like there is much you can do about it tbh, but I would definitely tell them off for knocking on your window, and tell them to stop following you etc

TemptressofWaikiki · 30/03/2018 15:53

Virtually nothing of what you described is actually anything but normal healthy behaviour of kids playing outside. Having a bouncy castle up on rare occasions does not spell deprived either. On the contrary. Sounds actually a great place to raise kids yourself. You sound precious and neurotic OP. No wonder the parents laughed at you. During the day, play noise is normal and your babies need to get used to sleeping through it. People can’t fecking tip toe because you’re having unrealistic expectations.

50sQueen · 30/03/2018 16:01

I lived in a similar set up with terraced houses and an access road where the kids would play. We loved it if I'm honest. Kids got to socialise with other children and got some freedom in a controlled safe environment. All the parents would look out for each other's children . Perhaps have a word with the parents about respect and teach the children boundaries. Before long your kids will want to play out there too.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:02

Erm I don't think I'm being unreasonable about the huge bouncy castle that you'd find at a family friendly pub. With a huge generator blaring, whilst trying not to trip over the wires heavily pregnant barely able to get access to my home. It was ridiculous. It's just the fact we have decent sized back gardens and a park around the corner. I have complained to the council and so have 2 other neighbours but they don't do anything about it. Whilst they're well within their rights. Up to 12am like last year is far too late.
An I wouldn't trust my dcs to play out the front with how easy it is to run into the road and communal car park and access the canal.
When they're old enough if we haven't moved they'll be playing in my back garden under my supervision with a locked gate. Especially at these children's age. The youngest is 4 and wondering off.

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Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:04

This is my childhood home and were never allowed out the front. The kids just sorta came over for us or we had friends over. Never out the front as it was too risky with the cars speeding down this road in particular. But surely there's something I can do about playing my cat up, throwing things at the house, playing on my garden etc?
I looked after my dad's dog at my house last year and the kids managed to get in my garden to try and play with this dog who is a bit viscous.
Not long after my dad came over to try and chop the trees down a bit and we went inside for a drink (the lock to the gate was broken) and these children's dad was in our garden telling us for £200 he would chop the trees. The cheek.

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Wallabaloo · 30/03/2018 16:10

I thought there was no road. Bizarre what I’m picturing. Are you in us?

ghostyslovesheets · 30/03/2018 16:10

we occasionally hear abuse too through closed windows and the walls please tell me you reported this as well as the bouncy castle

Sesimbra · 30/03/2018 16:13

They're terraced houses with no road In between them. The houses are opposite one another in a big row

Never out the front as it was too risky with the cars speeding down this road in particular

Which is it? Confused

I would move.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:13

There's a road. It's sorta really hard to explain.

So the houses are in a row opposite.
But down two houses there's a communal car park and a road next to it to gain access if that makes sense? It leads up to a row of houses at the side of this road to face our row. But that road leads up to the canal.

Since I've been born that road has has too many accidents due to speeding over a bridge with almost no viability once you're trying to get over it as its so steep. It was going to be used only for emergency vehicles which would be miles better, or even speedbumps but nothing has come of it.

If that makes any sense at all how I've explained it.
There is one. But the point I was getting was it doesn't go through the houses in between

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MumofBoysx2 · 30/03/2018 16:17

Poor you, that sounds really tough to have to live with. You're not being unreasonable to ask, in fact having asked already I would go a step further if it were me and report them as a noise nuisance. You might first have to keep a diary and log all the harrassing incidents. The parents are responsible for those kids (or at least they should be). First, please report the abuse. No matter what you heard, it could be worse. Leaving a six year old unfettered access to a canal is bad enough!! Hope you get some peace soon.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:18

@ the abuse, no, myself and ex dp did wonder about phoning the police. Especially the first time we heard it. The window wasn't open and we were walking back from the shop and you could hear his dad basically smacking him and the child screaming. I did report this to the council as I didn't want to cause uneccesary trouble If I didn't need to.. The second time ex dp phoned 111. We don't know what came out of it though.

The thing is, they're children. An they have hearts of gold, they really do. It's just their parents not caring. I did help one of the little girls up who lives around the corner last year who fell and badly grazed her face.
The road up to the shop too, one of the little boys was on his bike and got knocked over by a car. Myself and ex dp had to intervene and phone an ambulance (he also lost a lot of teeth and his mouth poured of blood) and ex dp went to inform their parents. They didn't bother coming out til the paramedics arrived. They don't care.

OP posts:
MumofBoysx2 · 30/03/2018 16:18

PS what some people are saying is mostly 'normal behaviour' isn't!! Children should not be trampling all over people's property and knocking on their windows. I'd be livid if my kids did that!!

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:19

If it happens again with the abuse I'll phone 999 for real. Not 111. It was around Christmas last time we heard it and his window was closed but I had our hallway window upstairs open a bit and we could hear the little boy screaming :( that's when we phoned 111.

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Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:22

@Momofboys and me. There's no respect.
I'm not angry at these kids. They don't know any better due to their parents. It's their responsibility.

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FlibbertyGiblets · 30/03/2018 16:23

I think all the problems here can't be solved by asking nicely. I would move, childhood home notwithstanding.

sportyfool · 30/03/2018 16:23

I would move ! We bought our first house and the kids were sooo noisy outside . We moved within 18 months .

Flutterbyeee · 30/03/2018 16:41

The details keep changing.

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:42

Due to circumstances the house needs to be sold as I'm a tenant under my dad. I need to get on the council or find somewhere to rent as soon as my finances are sorted out once ex dp moves back to his family.

The house cannot be sold until winter due to the kids outside. No one would buy it :(

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quickname · 30/03/2018 16:42

i'm sorry but it sounds as though you would be best to consider moving before your children are old enough to make friends with neighboroughing kids. It will only get worse when they're all at school together and having playdates, sleepovers etc.

Wide0penSpace · 30/03/2018 16:51

I think the incidents you're describing all paint a bigger picture of a safeguarding concern. The 6 year old swimming unsupervised in the canal, hearing the parents hitting and child screaming, the lack of concern when he was run over, out unsupervised until very late (after midnight?). Can you contact your local safeguarding team and tell them all this?

Wide0penSpace · 30/03/2018 16:53

Is it just one family with these kids?

Sesimbra · 30/03/2018 16:53

OK, I have realised which poster you are now OP.

Don't you have far more serious issues than this to deal with? I hope you are getting some help Flowers

Original poster
Forevertired19 · 30/03/2018 16:56

Mainly just the one. There's kids down the opposite side who are outside but really quiet.
The family next door, their children were the ones throwing the rock snowballs and it's mainly the ones at the end. They have 7 children they dont seem to properly take care of.

I do. But earlier its started again with the tractor and screaming and waking my dd up and I can't have another summer like this on my own with a 1 year old and newborn :( I just want some peace

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