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Original poster

"I should have got the other one..." DH and his irritating purchase regrets

26 replies

AjasLipstick · 30/03/2018 10:00

Whenever DH buys anything expensive or important, he takes EONS to make a choice.

A big appliance or as just happened, a new musical instrument, he will stand for hours in the shop trying to choose whilst the assistants get ever more irritated.

Sometimes, he leaves without anything....then goes back later.

He ALWAYS says "Oh....I should have got the other one" a day or so after the purchase.

I pointed this out and he insists that he's happy but he always thinks that...no matter what he buys he worries he made the wrong choice.

It drives me MAD!

How can anyone not know!??

OP posts:
Original poster
AjasLipstick · 30/03/2018 10:00

I meand AEONS obviously Blush Not EONS.

OP posts:
NeedForBlossom · 30/03/2018 10:08

Whenever DH eats a big meal he say "oh, I won't eat for a week now!"

Every. Single. Time.

YANBU

ScreamingValenta · 30/03/2018 10:09

I have to admit, I'm a bit like that with large purchases Blush. I try to minimise the impact on others by doing most of the agonising over which to buy bit online; reading lots of reviews etc. and visiting the shop to look at it without intending to purchase that day, so no sales people hanging round. When it comes to taking the plunge and buying, it's then straight into the shop and 'I want this one, please' because I've already ummed and ahhed as much as I need to.

if I have regrets afterwards I keep them to myself! It can take me several weeks to decide which item I want, though.

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 30/03/2018 11:02

God Valenta! Just allow yourself the pleasure of the thing...please! Grin DH has just said "Hm, I think I should have got the other" so I called his bluff and said "Well they'll let you swap it....call them tomorrow and ask." and he was Shock at the thought.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 30/03/2018 11:13

Oh, my dad is exactly the same; and he'll keep it up for the lifetime of the item concerned. He's still not convinced they made the right choice about the fridge freezer purchased circa 2009: it just doesn't seem consistently cold, should have read more reviews, should have asked around, etc. Drives my mum bonkers!

Ollivander84 · 30/03/2018 11:17

Reminds me of the great wardrobe shop of 2008. Dad and me picked one, good price, right size/colour etc. Done
Mum? Nooooo, let's just look at the other shops first
5hrs later. We buy the first one
Me and dad were HmmConfused FFS at all the time wasted traipsing around

MiddleClassProblem · 30/03/2018 11:17

I have a similar but initially the opposite problem.

DH buys cheap, quick fix products without much research. They break/don’t last long/are cra etc and then it ends up costing more that having invested in a good product.

ScreamingValenta · 30/03/2018 11:19

Ha ha! Weirdly, Ajas, agonising over it is part of the fun of buying it Grin. It just doesn't look like that to an onlooker. I'm a gadget fan, and I think it's an offshoot of gadget-geekery - weighing up which features are the most valuable and so on.

Littlejayx · 30/03/2018 11:20

It’s buyers regret , my boyfriend does this whenever we go out to eat!

“Should have ordered the other thing’ then acts all disappointed, nobody forced you to eat the burger Robert Hmm

Ohwhatbliss · 30/03/2018 11:22

I'm married to a man like this but thankfully, like Valenta, he does most of his umming and aahing online. Mine is always overcome with catholic guilt as well after any purchases over about £100, takes a lot of the pleasure out of new things.

tenbob · 30/03/2018 11:23

Buyers remorse...

DH has the opposite - sellers remorse
I'm STILL hearing how it was a mistake for him to have ebayed his old surround sound speakers in 2012 and it just has a better sound than the lovely sleek sound bar just isn't the same

Unless a friend is complementing him on the Soundbar, in which case it's the best thing he ever bought

Sesimbra · 30/03/2018 11:24

That sounds really annoying. I just wouldn't go with him when you know it's likely to happen.

When the "I should have got the other one" nonsense starts, just smile and nod and change the subject.

Headphones might help Grin

Notevilstepmother · 30/03/2018 11:32

I know your pain. So much dithering. Just make a decision.....

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 30/03/2018 11:39

Val well....his pleasure is interfering in my peace!

OP posts:
CaptainCardamom · 30/03/2018 11:43

Ex was like this in restaurants. Dithered for ages. Finally made a choice, then usually ran after the waiter to change his choice. Then when he actually got the food, moaned that he should have got the other one. Angry Sometimes he would even get me to swap with him because mine looked nicer! until I put my foot down and refused to do that any more.

It's a weird kind of entitlement IMO - the person just cannot bear that the thing they have isn't absolute perfection and the best choice. So what! We all have things that turn out not to be as ideal as we expected, that's life.

outabout · 30/03/2018 11:46

It's not just a 'man' thing, the problem is too much choice when there needn't be.
I want a tin of baked beans. How many 'varieties' are there in the supermarket? At least 6 'variations' from each manufacturer. Then, which ones are actually the same (who makes the Tesco variety for example?).
Life would be infinitely less stressful to go into a shop wanting beans and there are just one sort so the choice is beans or no beans. Job done.

CaptainCardamom · 30/03/2018 11:46

I don't mind long drawn out decision making if it doesn't affect others. i might look at dozens of radios, cardigans or even egg whisks online before choosing, I enjoy it. But inconveniencing other people while you decide, or boring on about your mistake afterwards, is really tiresome.

outabout · 30/03/2018 11:48

And water, should be sparkling or still, end of!

SoozC · 30/03/2018 11:56

DH spends ages choosing things. He'll ask for recommendations from friends/family, look at reviews, compare prices across shops... I get fed up and just buy things sometimes, like our television. If I left it to him, we'd never have got it. Then he goes on about it afterwards (even a year later!), saying what a great TV it is. Yes, I know, and it didn't even require me to spend too much time thinking about it.

wanderings · 30/03/2018 11:57

I've gone from one extreme to another on this. I used to be of the buy cheap, quick fixes; in my twenties I was always buying clothes that didn't fit, appliances I hardly used, cheap things that went wrong. For my first bought flat, I only visited five of them; I kept wondering if I should have done more.

Now I delay purchases as long as I can: if an appliance is starting to go wrong, or if a garment is becoming a bit tatty, I often don't replace it until it has broken completely; I just live with the inconvenience meanwhile. I like to think (misguidedly I'm sure) that I'm saving money by delaying, and I feel that I have "earned" the right to spend the money by delaying. It also gives mad impulses to buy things time to pass. I also feel I'm playing shops at their own game when they say "Hurry!! When it's gone it's gone."

When I do decide I'm seriously going to buy something, I look at things on the internet, and I rarely buy straight away. I sleep on it for a day or two (while the adverts on Facebook and MN taunt me with the things I looked at), and gives me time to sort our voucher deals. I once ordered something expensive, and then minutes after I'd ordered it, I got an email about a 10% off everything deal!!! Although it stated it would not be applied retrospectively, I rang them straight away, and was prepared to cancel the order on the spot. I think they realised I meant business, so they gave me the discount anyway.

When choosing a house, we deliberately visited a few we suspected were unsuitable from the description, but this made us feel all the more assured that our choice was the right one.

As for things like insurance, energy supply etc. it annoys me that we have to choose the supplier. I know the theory is that competition keeps prices down, but it really drives me mad that you can't just auto-renew car insurance any more; if you do, you get ripped off big time, and then you have to deal with the regretful-sounding telephonist of your old supplier when they don't match your new quote.

MsBeauvoir · 30/03/2018 12:21

My DH got rid of his vinyl collection 11 years ago and is still regretting it today. He still points out how much a particular record he owned is now worth £x, and takes pleasure in visiting record shops to see which records he had they have in stock.
I have suggested he starts replacing his collection and he does buy the odd record. The annoying thing is people assume I pressured him into disposing of his collection, and his geeky-muso friends are aghast that he should have done such a thing.

CaptainCardamom · 30/03/2018 12:44

I once bought a hoover without much consideration, it was a great brand, on special end-of-line offer in a supermarket and I snapped it up as we needed one.

Ex never tired of remarking in a surprised tone on how it was "actually" quite good, not a bad hoover etc Hmm because it was so bizarre that I could have possibly made a good decision about anything vaguely technological. Arse.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 30/03/2018 12:59

My Dad has The Which? Magazine.
Nothing can be purchased without consulting its hallowed pages. Everything must be scoured over in great detail.
I delight in telling him that the Which? magazine recommended the Huddl tablet, which turned out to be a big pile of crud.
He got very anxious when my parents fridge freezer broke and they needed a new one quickly. Couldn't spend ages agonizing, had to get one that was in stock and could be delivered quickly.
It's a good fridge.

MouseholeCat · 30/03/2018 13:04

DH does this, even on small purchases, and it drives me crazy.

My pet peeve is when he needs to buy something- say a pair of headphones- he sits on Amazon going over all the cheap pairs for hours. He asks me which I think is better, and my response is always to pay more for a reputable brand as it won't break so soon.

He then buys a cheap pair, it breaks 3-6 months on and he'll sulk about it. ARGHGHGHGHG.

wanderings · 31/03/2018 21:27

What do you say to someone who makes a bad purchase?

"You should have gone to Specsavers."