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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that I can have a lie in as a single parent?

59 replies

PaintedFaces · 30/03/2018 00:09

I have a 4 and 6 year old and I have started work full time, I am so tired and it takes ages for me to fall asleep.

I've told my children that when they wake up to leave me asleep and go downstairs and play nicely but wake me up if they need me. I don't sleep in but they are usually up at 6am so during the holidays it would be nice to get an extra hour or so sleep in the mornings.

I've left a snack and juice out for them in the living room, the cooker is turned off at the switch, doors are locked and cleaning products etc are locked away. I've also told them not to go into the kitchen in the morning just as an added precaution.

They have got plenty of toys to play with and they are brilliant at amusing themselves so I feel as though this would be safe to do however my DM has criticised this and said that I shouldn't do it and now I'm doubting myself.

WIBU to do this?

OP posts:
FellOutOfBed2wice · 30/03/2018 01:13

Me and my sister did this at a similar age and I will encourage my girls to do the same when they’re that age.

If you’re in any way worried why don’t you get one if thiose fish eye WiFi cameras up in the corner of the living room and attach it to your phone? You can have it on next to you by the bed so that you can see/hear what they’re doing if you need to. They’re only about £20. We brought one for our eldest DDs room when she wanted to start going and playing up there when she had a friend round at about 3yrs. You can even speak into it and —frighten the living daylights our of them— ask them to keep it down or stop putting peanut butter into the DVD tray or whatever if you need to.

catsofa · 30/03/2018 01:17

I'm planning to fit a lock to my internal kitchen door when mine is a little older so I can keep him out of there but allow him to go downstairs in the mornings to play without me.

SpareASquare · 30/03/2018 01:24

YANBU. Perfectly reasonable to do this.
I used to leave bowls out, cereal on the bench and pour out just enough milk into a jug and they’d make their own cereal if they wanted. Otherwise they snuggled up and watched tv.

Queenofthestress · 30/03/2018 01:40

This morning I put my ds in the bed with me when he came and woke up at daft o clock, he watched washing machines on my phone and I went back to sleep until the baby woke up, yours are a bit older but when I can I'll be doing the same

Gibble1 · 30/03/2018 01:49

I lived with my Aunty and Uncle when I was little and the rule at the weekends was 1: you don’t wake them on a Saturday morning and 2: the first person up had to lay the table for breakfast 😂.
Now, because they had had my sister and I presented to them as gifts (dumped on them without a second thought) at the same time as having to house a Grandparent, they went to the considerable expense of having their house extended. This wasn’t easy as it was a listed building. But I digress. Cousins room was in the attic. He used to come down the stairs past my bedroom door and I would wake to see him peering in. I have a feeling that he hoped I would wake and go down and therefore be the first downstairs and have to lay the table 😂.

eridanus · 30/03/2018 01:51

YANBU - not for a second. Just ensure they know how to turn the TV on and to the channel they want, keeps them happier longer ;)

Shednik · 30/03/2018 08:26

No issue whatsoever with this, I do it and my youngest is three.

phoenix1973 · 30/03/2018 08:29

Yanbu.
Did your Mum work f.t with 2 young kids and does she understand the tiredness that brings?

SkaPunkPrincess · 30/03/2018 08:46

I do this now my eldest has turned 5.

I usually find him downstairs playing on his tablet headphones on eating the cereal i left out for him the night before (he can help himself to milk)

Smallest one sleeps in later and DH gets in late from work so I am the one up every morning and DC1 has always been up with the lark. it's nice to get 30 minutes not being harassed to wake up and get up gently!

RoadToRivendell · 30/03/2018 08:49

I hate modern helicopter parenting. It's fine.

Josieannathe2nd · 30/03/2018 08:54

It soundscape young but actually it happens in our house with very little drama. Our 6 yr old will have a look in our room and if we are asleep go downstairs, make him & his 4 yr old brother breakfast and they play or read. They like bringing their breakfast back upstairs which is more problematic. I’m not 100% asleep as I am aware of them walking around & they know they can get me if there’s a problem. But I’m co-sleeping with the baby so they’re used to whispering! It’s not more than once a week that the baby wakes up last & they seem to quite enjoy their parent free time.

Shenanagins · 30/03/2018 08:56

Mine do this all the time. The older one usually gets breakfast out for both of them as well. Never been a problem so enjoy your lie in!

SlackerMum1 · 30/03/2018 08:56

I find this so odd - DSIL only started letting DN do this at 8 and I’ve got no idea why. I know I did this at that age - I have clear memories of being up so early on a Saturday morning I’d be sitting on the sofa with my duvet waiting for cartoons to start (yes old enough to remember the test card 🙈). I know I can’t have been more than 4ish as it’s a house we moved from when I was 5! I don’t think our houses are substantially less safe now - in fact probably a lot safer.... I can’t wait till DD is old enough to be let loose on a Saturday morning

SweetMoon · 30/03/2018 08:58

YANBU at all. It's fine. When mine were 5, 4 and 2 they would go downstairs and put on CBeebies and /or play with their toys. Either the 5 or 4 year old would get everyone's cereal and juice.

I'd hear them so wouldn't be exactly sleeping still but it was nice to chill for a bit before getting up. They were all sensible and well behaved so never an issue.

Wallywobbles · 30/03/2018 08:59

It's fine. I did similar. Sweet breads in front of the tv. Sorted.

LunchBoxPolice · 30/03/2018 08:59

Do what you got to do. I'm a single parent to a 4 year old and working full time, it's hard work. I usually give ds my phone and he cuddles up in my bed watching videos quietly while I doze I bit. Or he'll go downstairs and play, which he doesn't do quietly. Grin

Babdoc · 30/03/2018 09:02

Absolutely fine. I was a widowed single parent from when they were babies, and worked as a hospital doctor, so I totally understand your tiredness and need for a lie in.
Your kids will be more resourceful and independent than mollycoddled ones, and learn some coping skills and the ability to entertain themselves. Many kids that age in the 3rd world would have full time jobs!
Your mother should try walking in your shoes before she criticises- or offer to babysit every weekend morning herself!

Coco134 · 30/03/2018 09:03

I wouldn’t do it but not sure why. My kids are 4 & 6.

I might tell my daughter (6yr old) to go and put the tv on quietly and watch that if the 4 year old was still asleep.

But I’d normally stick the tv on up in my room and let them get in my bed while I doze on and off

Atticusss · 30/03/2018 09:03

I can't remember what age from sorry, I think 5? but when I was a single parent I used to make my son a packed breakfast for weekends. Usually a peanut butter sandwich, fruit, yoghurt, cereal bar, carton of juice. He knew to go down in the morning and put on a DVD and get his breakfast out the fridge. This tip was passed on to me and I tell it to all the single parents who ask this question.

I have a 5 year old now who won't watch a film and would rather jump on our heads repeatedly than head downstairs on her own but at least I have skmeone to take it in turns with. If yours are happy to go down on their own I think it's fine. There are two of them so one can come and get you if there is a problem.

SnowiestMountain · 30/03/2018 09:07

Maybe you should start Coco! I do this all the time, it's totally fine! DH works very early so I'm usually on my own on a weekend morning.

Admittedly I'm not usually absolutely fast asleep but dozing, MN etc in bed while they potter around downstairs, tv, iPad, whatever, no problem at all, they know where I am!

No different to them playing upstairs when I'm downstairs during the day really!

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 30/03/2018 09:14

I am not a single parent, but we still let the kids go downstairs and play from that age. They normally start playing in their bedroom, then get bored and go downstairs. I don't turn the radiators down at night on Fridays and Saturdays so the room is warm.
They come back upstairs when they get hungry around 9am.

They are left alone when I am in the shower, in the toilets, so what's the difference

Coco134 · 30/03/2018 09:16

@SnowiestMountain - I think I should! Iv never even thought to lay out snacks for breakfast! Such a good ideal!

I don’t even know why I haven’t done it to be honest, I used to wake up all the time early and go downstairs as a kid and watch tv without waking anyone up!

Justwaitingforaline · 30/03/2018 09:21

I second the gro clock - DD (3.5) usually wakes at 6 but the sun isn’t set to come up until 7. She can play in her room, take herself to the toilet or come and get the IPad from me to watch CBeebies on but other than that, she stays put until it comes up Smile

gttia · 30/03/2018 09:34

Yanbu. Mine used to do this and were always fine, now they're older the routine is still the same

Saracen · 30/03/2018 09:44

You know your own kids and whether they are likely to behave sensibly. YANBU.

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