What's the weirdst thing you found when someone died?

[ferriswheel]

I was thinking of writing a diary. Something to help me figure out why i sabotage my weight loss success and why i tolerated the bad behaviour of my husband for so long.

I dont at all expect anything untoward happening to me but the idea of my inner most thoughts being read by whoever...

Anyway, have you ever found anything that you shouldnt have, but had to deal with because of the circumstances?

Following to read later

What a good thread.

I once helped an old school friend move back home from uni (we were at the same uni, about 300 miles away) because I could drive and he couldn’t. On arrival back at his dm’s house, a gimp mask fell out of a box. I knew that he was very flamboyantly gay at university...., but I think this may have been the first inkling his dm had of this, judging by her reaction.

What a load of Codswallop
Maybe I confused him with the denial?
Desperate
I am right
Don't you ever ever do that again
I am starting to hope I? people? trying to inact?
I'll possibly be seeing you at work
To? give you control
Yet/Yes? something begin? something something
Something? you young? things?
The something something something.

Everybodys talking about your baby.

I don't mind.

When pregnant with DD (now 5), I was very sick with sepsis & off work for a couple of weeks while in HDU and subsequent recovery. My boss was a proper twat at the time, accused me of making it up and asked (in these words) for a ‘guarantee you won’t be sick again while you’re pregnant’.

My dad worked in the same field and got a proper bee in his bonnet about this woman. Kept an eye on her career, had his old colleagues keep an eye out etc. Was surprisingly fixated on her, for such a laid back man.

He died just before Christmas. While looking out the paperwork we needed to register his death, I found a newspaper clipping of my old boss’s face! Even given his fixation upon her, I wondered what the hell was going on that he’d actually kept a photo of her in his box of important stuff.

Then I realised my name was on the list of graduates underneath her photo.... Relief coupled with heart wrenching sadness that i’d never get to tell him he had her photo the whole time.

We found my granny's hip joint. She'd had a replacement 30 years previously
As she'd already been cremated we weren't sure what to do, so my dad buried it in the garden.
Every now and again I do wonder whether a murder enquiry might be launched if human remains get dug up!!!

Mix If you don't mind me asking...what is the recipe for?

@YearOfYouRemember - from my point of view I think it's partly depends on your relationship now with you DC.

My mum has had an awful early life. I've always known most of it but when more accidentally slips out it's heartbreaking and I need to see her and cuddle her to stop the pain I get in my heart about it. If I found out horrible stuff after she had gone and I couldn't cuddle her that would break my heart

I'm so sorry you've had hard times

Great thread.
When my great aunt died her kids cleared her little studio flat at the nursing home and found 30+ bottles of sherry hidden in every draw and cupboard at varying stages of empty! She wasn’t a big drinker, but liked a glass before bed (but wasn’t really allowed on her meds) After asking around they discovered for the last 2 years 5 or 6 people (only ones to confess) had been slipping her a bottle at visits! As they knew she couldn’t get out. All of them thought they were the only ones doing it! She was basically supplying the whole nursing home!

Our office manager died suddenly. Brain aneurysm at 42. There was always a running joke about how she must be trying to hide something, as she always wore very overpowering perfume. I had to clear her desk after her death. It was rammed full of whiskey miniatures. Turns out the “jokes” we’re true.

For those of you thinking of using digital storage for preserving things for you own children, archivists and historians are still struggling with how to ensure digital documents are preserved. USB may be great now but who can still read old floppy disks? File formats may not be compatible. Websites close down and passwords get lost. Whereas we have hard copy documents from thousands of years ago.

I love looking through the diaries and documents from my grandparents - wish I could flesh out some of the stories though (they all died when I was young)

Not when someone died but I found something recently that I just don’t know what to do with.

My dad called me and asked me to log into his emails and order the dog his prescriptions. I was looking for an email from vets first name, say Angela. I found an email from an Angela, the wrong Angela. This email was saying it’s okay if he’s not ready, they’ll always be there when he is ready. I read down a bit, Angela’s company is investigating a series of abuse that happened in a boys prison years ago 😢 I didn’t know my dad was even in that prison, but it appears he was and was one of the victims.

I don’t know what to do with that information. I’ve tried to forget I saw it.

@sourpatchkid - I'm sorry your mum had a tough life too . My kids are now 12-17 years old and the older two know a bit. I think dd might have worked out more. She said something and I said please don't ask me now as I can't tell you and she respected my choice. She's 14. I just don't know what to do.

When I cleared my mum's house out a few years ago I found a box of memories from her relationship with my dad. They divorced when I was ten and she never got with anyone else after (She died when I was 24). He used to send her flowers and she had kept every note. I also found a letter she had written to him that she never sent, they must have had a falling out as she said she was very stressed! She kept literally everything from mine and my brothers school days and all our birthday cards and I've still got most of it.

Oh @Gudgyx that's so hard x I guess there isn't much you can do as it seems he's not ready to go there with anyone. Thinking of you

@YearOfYouRemember - don't pressure yourself on this one. I hope you'll have many many years with your kids to tell them things if they need to know. You look after yourself

Thank you sourpatchkid. I've just realised there are some photos of my ex and me in the roof too. Fully clothed but he is kissing me in one. I guess I should bin those before the kids see them.

I have two of my nans diaries, one from before I was born, one after.

The one before breaks my heart as she talks about how lonely she was. My GF had left for a younger woman and she was raising 4 children alone. She wrote about replying to a lonely hearts ad and being sure she'd not hear back as who would want her.

It actually breaks my heart.

Not so much found, but after an elderly relative died I mentioned her death to a senior colleague. (I work in a big organisation)
"I know". She said (abruptly). "I was taking her to all her hospital appointments."
Only I thought I had. She must have had more but didn't want to burden me further. :(

What's odd is she never mentioned knowing this colleague, let alone well, but the other collegues of mine she knew she'd mention every time we met. It was so odd!

It made me very sad. :(

My Dad died in 1994, he was 54, nearly 55 when I was born & Mum had died when I was just 8. He had a heart attack & was in Greenwich hospital. I had stayed with him every night for 6 days & was so exhausted, I went home for some sleep. We went back at 7am & he died at 8:42. Nothing remarkable, except it was the day of the London Marathon. All the roads around there are closed & we had to wait 6 hours watching hippos & postman pat etc run past. I have to admit, he was a cantankerous old sod at times and I'm sure he did it deliberately. When he was taken into hospital, his prosthetic leg was removed & we put it in the boot of our car. What on earth do you do with a prosthetic leg?
About a month later, the car was stolen. I often wonder what they thought when they opened the boot - still makes me giggle. Even though the marathon date changes every year, we always raise a glass & a smile!

My mother had a hard time with pregnancies and was desperate for a family, this obviously took a toll on the marriage and apparently someone else took a fancy to my father. I don't know the details.

After they had both died I found a note in my mother's sewing box, just a little scrap of paper from my father, apologising for the upset he had caused and that 'Laura' had been run over by a car.

They were married for over 60 years but people tended to stay together in those days.

At a difficult time the last thing you want is a nasty surprise. I'm a humanist celebrant, and we really encourage people to talk to someone about what they want to happen after they die - what kind of funeral they want, but also what they want done with any - er - unusual items! I'm currently actively "Swedish Death Cleaning" - the idea is that you get rid of everything that isn't useful and doesn't give you or your children pleasure, long before you die. Not only cathartic, but I've been earning a fair bit on eBay too.

A jar of Bovril amongst my Grandad's socks. It was odd and made me sad because he had dementia which my DGM had hidden very artfully even though she was physically disabled. Also found out after he died that he was a serial cheat and can never forgive him.

We were clearing out our 95 year old Nan's bungalow when we came across one of those seaside souvenir Nun keyrings which, when squeezed, boobs pop out. It was in a drawer in her bedroom, no idea who had given it to her but it gave us a laugh at a difficult time.

I was looking through family paperwork a few years ago from my Dad's side of the family and noticed that his parents married on New Year's Eve 1932 and he was born less than 4 months later in April 1933.

Then I realised my name was on the list of graduates underneath her photo.... Relief coupled with heart wrenching sadness that i’d never get to tell him he had her photo the whole time

I’m not sure who she was to your dad and why you were sad. Was she his daughter also?