What's the weirdst thing you found when someone died?

[ferriswheel]

I was thinking of writing a diary. Something to help me figure out why i sabotage my weight loss success and why i tolerated the bad behaviour of my husband for so long.

I dont at all expect anything untoward happening to me but the idea of my inner most thoughts being read by whoever...

Anyway, have you ever found anything that you shouldnt have, but had to deal with because of the circumstances?

@MissFitton that is such a lovely idea! My DCs are 14 and 11 now, but it's never to late to start I guess.

When my Dad died we found proof he'd been having an affair with someone near his work - a good few hundred miles away. He worked away.

Didn't tell DM. I couldn't. I do often wonder about the OW though, who told her he'd died? Did she just think he'd stopped calling? This was in the early 90's, before mobiles and social media.

Awful.

We have cousins in the US who are not closely related, but we get on very well with them. When her mum died, the mother of this family of cousins we're good friends with found out that he dad wasn't her dad - her dad's brother was her dad - he'd been sleeping with his sister-in-law.

Then the poor woman was ostracised by parts of her supposed father's family as if it were her fault! Honestly, some people.

This sounds slightly 'woo' but after my dad died, my dsis and I were sorting thorough his clutter, and my dsis was talking about how she'd contacted a solicitor and it had turned out to be a girl she was friends with at primary school. Just as she was telling me this, the next item I put my hand on was an old notebook, completely empty, except for our old family home address and the maiden name and childhood address of her solicitor friend, in my sister's childish handwriting.

It was obviously just a coincidence, but it really spooked us both, albeit in a good way.

Goingalone now

That’s so shit ( had similar) and it was so hurtful . Did it affect your grieving ? It did me and even 2 years on I am still a bit angry

When my Grandfather died a couple of years ago, my mum and her brothers were at the house dealing with calling drs and funeral directors etc... they had a policeman turn up at his house. They came looking for granddads gun. of course mum and uncles were in complete shock as to why he would have a gun in the house. turns out my dgf had a gun licence registered to that address, no gun was ever found, but it made them laugh during a sad time.

Right, took a break from this thread to throw away my dildo and teenage diary.

When my GM died (GF died 5yrs previously) we found cash stored all over the house, you name it we found it! In coat pockets, behind pictures, in the fish tank!!! She left us instructions to find it all when she died, didnt trust the banks at all! We also found a shotgun and deeds in our names owning 15 plots of land between the family.

When my grandma died. We found loads of albums if Edwardian post cards, her beautiful but tiny wedding dress from 1939 and the letters my granddad wrote while she was in hospital having my mum. Each one started 'My darling Lillian' it was lovely.

My friend lost her mother after a very long battle with cancer, my friend cared for her throughout.
When she died my friend found her birth certificate but her mother's name wasn't on It, her aunts was. She was devastated that her mum's sister was actually her biological Mum, she went to see her but her 'Aunt ' wasn't interested in developing a relationship.

I sincerely hope I don't die be I get the chance to clear out all my weird things. My kids would never recover!

I was kind of hoping someone would read my post and give me some advice or suggestions..

This might come over wrong

My mum was very 'prudish' 'straighlaced' 'innocent' 'naive ' take your pick

Very open lovely women who would absolutely talk about sex and periods etc but with her hand on the remote control to the telly...if you get my drift

So when i found a pair of crotchless knickers it came as somewhat of a surprise

Apparently my dad brought them back from an overseas trip many years before...she didnt have a clue what they were or how to wear them. But she had kept them as a gift from my father, who when met with complete bewilderment just gave up on the idea of trying to explain them

Sorry year

I would keep them, i think it can be quite interesting to look back at things like that as long as they wont be distressing

And I appreciate dds comments regarding their own school work, ive kept loads of my childrens. But things like school reports can be fascinating for grand children to read

My school reports show the complete opposite of what my parents thought...they were so proud of me. And id be really disappointed if they were my childrens reports

YearofYou

Re your daughter - let her take the lead on what's important for her to keep for her memories and pick out a couple of things to remind you of specific life events if she just wants to bin everything.

Re your diaries - is there any risk that the legal case will ever need to be revisited, or have an impact on your future life? If yes, I would keep it all, if not, I would keep the judgement and any official files (or if you feel strong enough, a summary of key data from your diaries). They sound like they are making you unhappy, do you have anyone close to you, or a counsellor, that you could talk it through with?

This thread is motivating me to start letters to my children. What a lovely idea.

I was very close to my grandmother and used to stay at her house frequently and for long periods of time when I was little. When I was about 6 I got one of those label makers for Christmas, and I printed out my name and stuck it to the headboard of the bed I slept in at her house. She was meticulously tidy and clean and she used the bed for lots of people to come and stay.

As I grew up I stopped staying there as much but still spoke to her all the time on the phone and saw her at my parents’ house.

She died when I was 30 and I went to her house with my parents to clear out her things and went into my old room, and she had kept my label on the bed, and it just made me cry so much.

Sorry that is not a weird thing.

Thank you so much rufus and themummyonthebus.. I keep everything sent too, made by or about my child because I have very little and I have got to stop putting my feelings and experiences on to my children. However, dh regrets chucking out his school stuff so even allowing for my screwed up head, he had a normal childhood and regrets getting rid. I won't give dd the option to bin her reports but it's school work she wants to throw out next year when she's in year 11.

The legal stuff is done. Convicted. Jailed. Dead. So the diaries are more proof I exist. I wouldn't want the kids reading them as I wrote everything, was far too open and tbh make me out to be a complete lost cause and with loose morals. was just searching for love after SA, NCS and being heartbroken

The social services files make heart breaking reading. If I do read them again before I die it will just be the once. I'd hate the kids to read them after I've gone and not be able to talk to me about them but they might understand me more. But then I wouldn't want them to read them when I'm here as wouldn't want them to feel sorry for me. I'm just so confused.

And unhappy.

Sorry, this is a lovely and interesting thread. Don't want to bring it down.

Thank you for your kindness.

After my mum's dad died she was going through paperwork at the house and discovered that she had a half brother as her mum had a son before she was with my grandad. That was an interesting find!

My brother committed suicide back in 2015.
I moved in with ex dp last year into the family home (db committed suicide in the living room) and I was so down first moving in because of this. I missed my mom terribly too.
So after dd was born a month after moving in, I had pnd and went to see a medium to see if she could help me out.
She told me that my brother would place a cross on a surface in my home to let me know he's with me.

I don't and have never owned a cross. Not at all. And we decorated this house from top to bottom and found nothing moving in.
Around a week later I discovered a random silver Cross on my bedside table. I didn't tell anyone about it so it couldn't have been planted there and ex dp isn't one for any jewellery at all. It was really strange

When my great grandparents died, my grandmother found their life insurance policies and was going to use that money to pay for the funeral.

Except they were penny policies from the 1930s and were worth about £7. They'd been paying something like 8 pence a year into the policies!

When DGM passed, DF discovered he had a half sister 15 years older than him!!

YearOfYouRemember Perhaps there's a halfway house in relation to the files. You could leave them for your DC to see after your death, but along with a letter explaining how you feel, that you don't want them feeling sorry for you.

All the people who have kid's school reports, drawings etc. Why not scan (or take photos) them all onto a usb stick/dvd. Keep the memories but get rid of the clutter?

When my DGM passed away, we actually found very, very little when we started clearing her house. DGD had died about 10yrs earlier and I remember her being really annoyed at him for leaving behind so much crap in his shed for her to dispose of.

Unbeknown to us, she had disposed of most of her belongings. She must have taken a bag of doations to the charity shop every time she left the house!

In her wardrobe we’re just a couple of skirts and blouses, a few pairs of knickers, 2 nighties., 2 pairs of shoes. She actually had quite a lot of clothes and possessions because everyone dumped their unwanted bits on her. The kitchen drawers and cupboards were pretty bare. Just the bare minimum of utensils etc.
We’d noticed the Knick knacks had thinned out around the house, but when we mentioned it she said she was getting too old to dust. But other than that, we had no idea what she had been doing.

We only lived a few streets apart, so we would pop in a couple of times a day, we just don’t know how she managed it without us noticing!

Clearing DM's house, l found my DGM and DGF's wedding certificate - dated four years after my Dad's eldest sister was born She was my favourite Auntie and was actually his half-sister. No idea who her Dad was...but I'm very proud of DGM for keeping her - and so glad that she did..!
I also found a pack of love letters written by DF to DM when he was on a camping holiday with his best friend about six months before my parents married. I always knew that they loved each other, but he was a man of few words. He poured out his heart to her, telling her that he was the luckiest man in the world - I cried and cried...and then I burnt the letters, as they were so intensely personal that I didn't want anyone else to read them...😢