Friends with kids: I am sooo tired of making all the effort!

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This is really getting me down...Friendships have always been very important to me. I have one son aged 6. Me and Dh have no family close by so friends are important. I have one v close friend locally with boy the same age and 3 other close friends who I get on great with but see less of (no kids or older kids). I feel very disappointed that despite my efforts to cultivate friendships with various school parents, I am left feeling all of the effort is mine, here's my list!;

1. Two mums whose kids hang out with mine are friendly and fun and include me in social media stuff but I do all of the asking to meet with kids. One is kind, offers lifts, good fun - but she NEVER suggests to meet (she has 3 kids). The other is funny, friendly but never has asked to hook up with kids.
2. Two other mums I am not trying to be friends with but my son really likes their kids and has been begging for a play date...two play dates at ours, no invites to theirs.
3. A couple who I like, who I hang out with at the playground after school, came to our house last year for my sons birthday, came to my birthday on the pub, I've asked them to a few other things - literally have never ever invited us to anything.
4. Another very close neighbour/friend has actually stopped talking to me at all after 2.5 yrs. He's the one who organises nights out so I am now left out of them.
5. Another who I get on great with, I have invited out a few times, made dinner for etc just never initiates anything despite being lonely.

I am in despair. I don't know how to respond to this. If I dodnt have my son it would be less of an issue, I want him (and he wants) other kids to play with. My confidence is totally knocked. It is so bad I don't want to live here anymore

Mother of an 'only' here. I sympathise op because I initially thought I was doing a fellow parent a favour when I invited their child over to play (which in a way you are) but I soon learnt that for a parent with more than one child , juggling the sibling activities and their friends/extra-curricular stuff & just having a busier household, it sometimes can be quite a pain having to be somewhere at a certain time and a play date (hate that term) is just another hassle to add to the list.

Don't take it personally. Hang in there. Your child will find their "niche" and you will find friends follow from that, but don't stop developing your own separate friendships too. And try and make friends with other "only" families!

It could be any number of things. Like yourself, I’m not from the area I live in. I think people who live in their own town have a lot of friends already.

Also if they work- free time is pretty limited/precious and while you may be very nice, free time is filled with family/ established friends. I’ve really found that since working pretty much full time my social life is less active in the respect that I don’t spend my weekdays meeting friends for play dates etc. I’m also so knackered that I don’t have the energy for the “polite” conversation and the establishment of boundaries that goes with a new friendship. Basically I want to get shitfaced/swear/be generally offensive and I know it takes people a while to get used to me!

Yes meaning drop off playdates. .. I'm not unsociable but I too run out of small talk☺

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your input. All very valuable insights esp regarding fulltime working parents/ more than one child families, lack of time and concentrating on old friends for now. A few things happened in the last few months that have broken my confidence. But hopefully with your advice, Spring and a bit of careful thinking I can bounce back.

I have 3 kids and I'm totally hopeless at organising things with other parents (tbh even my friends). My mental load is huge due to various home issues and I also worry/have anxiety about asking other people to do things HOWEVER I do love meets ups and jump at the chance when someone suggests it or organises me. So I'm probably like the mum u mention with 3 kids.

Hi op. It’s no easy. I have received quite a few play date invites but as a full time working Mum the choice for me to reciprocate ios to put a Friday afternoon play date before a weekend ( a flight away) with my parents - dad with alsheimers or prioritise school relationships. I really want to build them but I am totally honest - i have two small kids - we both work and both have older parents. It’s a tough time: relationships for me at this age are things that have to be built slowly recognising that we are all adults with massive demands our time. I would just chill about it and let things develop. I am in London recognise that my situation isn’t unique and just try to be as present and honest as I can to try and keep all avenues for friendship open provided they are all slow burners! I think I have build the foundations for good friends inf future by knowing I am doing thre right things - as you are x