Or is he?!

[pinkblonde311]

Long story short, met a guy on a dating site, really liked him, met him a few times and we said we were "seeing each other". We talked a lot on whatsapp.

I hid my profile on the site meaning other members can't see it but I still have the account. He didn't hide his, though he did say he didn't really use it anymore.

I then unhid it, kind of to level the playing field, because I wanted us to be in the same position - either we're both on it or we're both not.

He then went from messaging me all the time to hardly ever, and ignoring me a lot over the next few days.

He then got the hump with me, told me I was being shady and deceiving him and obviously trying to meet men. I pointed out that he must have logged on to know that I was on it, but he didn't acknowledge that really, just told me that he doesn't go on it.

Given that we're both 32, I thought I could be the adult, apologise for somehow hurting him, reassure him he was my one and only interest, and that be that. But no, instead he got mad at me, telling me it was over, because I wasn't capable of telling the truth and he couldn't trust me.

So I told him the truth - that I hadn't "cheated" but was levelling the playing field and he could trust me or not, up to him. He said he didn't believe me and it was over. I said he should trust me and that trust takes time, he said it was time he wasn't willing to give. I asked if he would change his mind, he said no.

I'm ashamed to say I did send a few more long messages basically saying how much I liked him, wanted to be with him and reassuring him. He's read the messages but not replied.

So AIBU to think he's making excuses and I've done nothing wrong?

or is he BU over the whole thing?!

It seems so ridiculous to me! He's had a lot of girlfriends but nearly all have cheated on him, I know he's paranoid it'll happen again so that kind of explains his worrying but not him dumping me, thinking I've got men lined up!!

I really liked him as well.

Also - why argue over it, keep messaging me asking me to "tell the truth" about why I unhid the profile, then say "you done talking with me then" cos I don't reply for a while, only to then dump me and ignore me?!!! Why refuse to believe me?

AIBU here?

You wanted to level the playing fields?

New relationships are supposed to be fun and exciting and make you happy. If is this crap at this stage you really do need to run and never look back

are women not allowed to level the playing fields

He’s probably been cheated on once, maaaayve twice but I bet majority of his exes that “cheated” were him doing what he’s done to you and you will now be in his “cheated on me” list.

He’s a drama llama with trust issues. Move on! Next! Don’t waste another word on him.

Read this and gone for a lay down with a flannel over my face.....grow up

He told you he didn't like you being on a dating site when you're supposed to be together, said he doesn't feel like he can trust you and has now ended it.

What's he done wrong?

Reading about him, I get warning bells. I don't believe ALL his previous girlfriends cheated on him, but they might have dumped him due to his accusations of cheating. Also, he left his profile up, which makes it sound like he was keeping his options open.

He sounds like a very jealous man, who could become controlling. I also suspect he's projecting a lot.

Block him OP. He might have seemed nice to start with, but he's already showing you that he isn't really.

Him leaving his is different to you hiding then unhiding yours. Because you've physically gone on and unhid it. I get that he's had to log on to see that. To be fair you both sound petty and silly. Tit for tat or as you call it levelling the playing field was only ever going to cause problems. Sounds like you love the drama.