Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit tearful and helpless

8 replies

MrsMaxwell · 28/03/2018 20:35

I am really tired I have started a new job and everything in the news today is making me a bit emotional. The area I work in deals with a lot of DV.

Yday DS g/f phoned me for advice as her friends b/f who has a long and nasty criminal history has punched her (not DS g/f) in the face.

I advised her to urge her to report to police, contact local DV charity and go refuge etc websites. Also advised her to let this girls Mum know although she ended up in supported housing at 16 and now 19 has no one.

Anyway it turned out DS g/f ended up bringing her here last night I had a good chat with her and persuaded her to contact local DV charity and she stayed here and has my phone number.

She has been to A&E with this bloke today and left and then went back again and told them some story and he has broken her eye socket Sad

I have been texting her today and have offered to take her to her appt at the eye clinic next week but she is back at her own little room on her own (he’s not there) but U just feel shitty about the whole thing.

Well aware you cannot force anyone to get help but she’s a vulnerable 19 yr old girl and there’s fuck all out there for her unless she is prepared to go to a refuge and he’s done the full on coercive control on her and she’s terrified he’s going to kill himself even though my son his gf and I say with her last night reassuring her he won’t.

Sad
OP posts:
Dragongirl10 · 28/03/2018 20:39

So sorry Op, its so nice of you to help her.

I too cannot understand why any girl would put up with this and it makes me so very sad and very angry.

MrsMaxwell · 28/03/2018 20:43

It’s because she has absolutely no self esteem and he has total control over her Sad

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 28/03/2018 20:47

That's heartbreaking. I just advise to all of you keep in contact with her and keep reiterating that he will not kill himself if she leaves and she will be better off without him.

MrsMaxwell · 28/03/2018 20:51

We have - DS gf and I have a photo of the injury too - in case she changes her mind. It looks terrible and we came up with a cover story for her for work as she is customer facing and she was scared she would lose her job.

OP posts:
lorelairoryemily · 28/03/2018 20:52

That's so sad, she's lucky she has you on her side. You sound lovely op

MrsMaxwell · 28/03/2018 21:00

I feel so fucking angry that people are in this position.

OP posts:
tinydancer88 · 28/03/2018 21:07

What an awful situation. I hope that, with your support, this girl can find a way to escape it.

You sound like a truly lovely person. You've offered both practical advice and emotional support. I'm sure this young woman appreciates the kindness you've shown her, even though she may not yet be ready to take that leap of faith.

MrsMaxwell · 28/03/2018 21:59

It’s a bit awkward as she lives where I work but she’s an adult so ...

Thanks. I just feel shitty about it Sad

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page