Blatant posting for traffic, so yes IABU.
But even so, could I please ask for your combined wisdom to help me devise a plan to improve bedtimes? DC1 is 3 and three quarters, DC2 is 9 months.
The current situation: DC1 ‘needs’ me (or at a pinch DH, but not without much protest) to lie in bed with him until he falls asleep, which usually takes around 20-30 minutes. DC2 is breastfed and feeds to sleep lying down in my bed and then I move him to his sidecar cot (which he is really too big for). They both go to sleep between 7 and 8. DH is at work for about half of bedtimes, and the only way I can get them both to sleep is to put them both in my bed, feed DS2 on one side and cuddle DS1 with my other arm. It isn’t hugely comfortable. DS2 also wakes up several times each evening and I resettle him, but around 10/11 seems to go into a deep sleep and sleeps through til the early morning.
Ideally: I’d like to put a cot for DS2 in DS1’s room, get DS1 in bed, sit and read a story and give him a cuddle while feeding DS2, then get out of DS1’s bed and pop DS2 into the cot. And not have to resettle him every twenty minutes until 10pm.
Issues: -DS2 can’t seem to fall asleep feeding unless he’s lying down next to me. He screams blue murder if I put him down awake after a feed.
-DS1 refuses to go to sleep unless I cuddle him. He has held out, practically propping his eyes open, for up to three hours before. And actually I don’t have an issue with cuddling him - I just can’t cuddle them both st once except in my bed!
-I don’t know how to resettle DS2 in the evenings without feeding him. With DS1 when we had this DH used to go in and resettle him and after a few days of that he kind of gave up and would sleep through the evening at least til 10ish. DS2 is totally resistant to all DH’s attempts, and also DH isn’t here every night to give it a decent run.
I would just really like even some evenings back. Mostly because I’m going back to uni soon and doing finals at Christmas and really really need some time to study. Help?