Great sex, crap relationship... How does that work?!

[coconuttella]

If I feel distant from my DP, or we’ve argued, or one of us has been thoughtless to the other, our sex life will suffer (ie we won’t be doing it until we resolve the issue or make up!). When we’re happy, feel loved and things are going well, then the sex follows (if we’re not too tired and have the time!)...

AIBU to wonder how on Earth people can have a healthy sex life, whilst at the same time their partners are behaving like selfish twats and treating them like crap, and I mean really crap... I just don’t get it.

Who are you talking about?

Some people are spectacularly good at separating sex and a relationship.

Just numerous posts and threads over the past few months...

Relationships like you describe are not usually long term.
Enjoy it while you can but don't be afraid to move on when you want something permanent.

Some people are spectacularly good at separating sex and a relationship.

I get it in FWB situation where you keep it separate... My issue is in relationships where one side is treating the other like shit, but they still seem to have great sex.

I thought this whilst watching seven year switch on tv the other night. Michelle and George argued constantly, viciously but said their sex life was amazing.

Wouldn't be in our house!

I thought this whilst watching seven year switch on tv the other night. Michelle and George argued constantly, viciously but said their sex life was amazing.

I can understand it in what seems to be a very passionate relationship... where there are intense highs and lows, and that suits the personalities... It’s the partners who are thoughtless, selfish, mean to, sometimes even cheating on, their other halves in the context of long term partnerships not short term flings.

I've heard about "angry sex" but if I'm angry sex is the last thing on my mind!

Maybe it's something led by the man?

I imagine some people delude themselves into thinking that if the sex is good then at least one thing in their relationship is fine.

I've heard about "angry sex" but if I'm angry sex is the last thing on my mind!

Same here... if I’m angry with my DP, sex would be off the cards, let alone great sex!

It’s reminded me of the ‘hate sex’ scene in Dr Foster which i found very hard viewing and a completely alien concept.

Sex, love and relationships are all very different and don’t have to be connected. What works for some doesn’t for others.

Nah I get it. I didn't used to, then I slept with a man who was a fucking god in bed, as far as I'm concerned. The relationship started going wrong; we were arguing a lot, which I don't tend to do but he could be such a twat; and yet come bedtime I still fancied the arse off him. It is possible to separate the emotional from the physical, definitely.