AIBU to really not want to go to the dentist

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I know I am being U I am extremely frightened of the dentist to the point that I have to be sent to the sedation clinic to get any work done because I'm that frightened that they can't get anywhere near me to do any work but I'm in absolute agony with an impacted wisdom tooth my face is swollen it's causing me pain in my jaw and my ear my mum said I need to go to the dentist because she thinks I have infection but I really don't want to go even though I know I have to.

Not unreasonable to not want to go but you know you need to. My husband was like you, well you couldn't even say "dentist" to him without him freaking out. I found a lovely dentist, over 20 years they built up a good relationship and I can actually say "dentist" to him now and he seems fine but I know he is stressed when an appointment comes up but it is manageable.

I hope you find a dentist you can trust.

If you don’t value your teeth then fine but if you do then seek help for your phobia!

Imagine having no teeth or the side of your face collapsing in because your molars were removed

Thank you peachpearlplum I do know I need to go I'm ok until I get there and then I turn in to a shaking bag of nerves and I just want to run I hate the idea of the dentist it just gives me too much fear. Thank you I will have to bite the bullet and go I just really don't want to and I know that probably sounds stupid espiceally when I'm in so much pain.

You have my sympathy. Perhaps when you call for an appointment, just explain how nervous you are. They might be able to recommend a particular dentist or give you a longer appointment so he can give you a few breaks if it's too uncomfortable.

Thank you Nomad86 I will see if I can do that the last dentist I seen was really good with me and really understanding but I don't know if he is even still there.

I had a huge phobia but I googled dentists with knowledge of patients with phobias, I found a few in my area and have now been to the dentist 3 times in the last couple of months after an 8 yr gap.
I'm so pleased I finally faced my fears and feel a but euphoric about not being scared anymore.
Let them know you are terrified and they will help you, good luck and please go before it gets any worse x

Thank you spicylolly I had no idea I could do that I will look in to that. I will try and tackle this problem before my issue with my wisdom tooth gets any worse. I was great with the dentist as a child I went every year for a check up and then our dentist sold out and it went private we had no dentist until I was a teenager and that was enough time for me to end up with a fear of the dentist. My mum thinks I have a fear of the unknown because I don't know what they are going to do if that makes any sense. Xx

I was terrified and the dentist used to give me a Valium tablet; half to be taken before I left home and half when I got to the surgery. I had to have someone with me but it was a brilliant way to get my much needed treatment. You can only ask.....

Hiya lass

I understand that fear as I've had two dental traumas and due to pregnancy I've lost my molars down to acid reflux.
A good trick is to tell dentist your scared, let them numb you up and then put in earphones and crank up the sound - the drill was my problem.

You can get sedation if needed, even some anxiety medication I've had was given by doctor and I was fine with it.

Just remember the pain will be gone quicker once seen.

Good luck!

I have a phobia of dentists which was exacerbated by the fact each time I went I had to see a different one and they didn’t seem to understand it wasn’t pain or any procedures I was scared of but the loss of control when I was in the chair. I did some research and found a local surgery that had a dentist that specialised in anxious patients and they were so good I didn’t mind going back. It seems that most surgeries do that now so it’s worth looking around.

I have a friend who feels exactly as you do - as a PP suggested, take half a diazepam (Valium) before your appointment. It's a relaxant used for a number of reasons and one is anxiety disorders. You could most probably get this from your GP in advance, if you explain what it's for (it's addictive but you're pretty much wanting a single dose for a specific reason).

I'm not madly keen on dentists but my fear of there being anything wrong with my teeth propels me to the dentist/hygienist twice a year. Good luck - hope that you can manage your fear and keep thinking of the relief you'll feel when it's all over. Anticipation will be so much worse than the reality.

ElizaCBennett I didn't realise they could give you valium I will look in to that and see if they are willing to do that for me just to try and get my through the appoitment.

thank you gryffen they know they have to send me to the sedation clinic to get any work done because its the only way they will get it done. Although I did manage to brave once and let the dentist do a filling with just the numbing stuff that was quick and painless but then I couldn't let him remove a tooth that just knocked me sick and I had to bail. I know the pain will be gone once I let them sort it out its just getting me there thats the problem my mum has to go in with me to make sure I stay in the chair and talk me through everything just so that they can give me a check up if my mum wasn't there I wouldn't even make it past the door.

Thank you PinkyBlunder I will look in to that I didn't realise that had dentist that specialies in anxious patients. It's just nice to know that I'm not alone here and I feel a little less stupid now. I will go though because I know I need to and I can't spend the rest of my life living off painkillers and teething gel.

Thank you Lobsterquadrille2 I will speak to my doctor and see if they will give just one vallium just to get my through my dentist appoiment am sure they would if they know what I need it for. I just know I will feel a lot better once its all sorted out its just extremely difficult getting me there but I will give anything a try if it means that I can get this tooth sorted out. I don't want to lose all my teeth because of one wisdom tooth.

Totally understand. I haven’t been in 6 years. When I lived in London my dentist referred me to have all dental work done at the hospital under sedation but that doesn’t seem to exist here and only private dentists offer sedation. I’ve had two broken teeth for years and intermittent pain. I just can’t do it.

Firstly, you need to go to the dentist asap if your face is swollen, if the infection spreads you are at risk of having problems with breathing etc. So it's very important you get it sorted.
Secondly, there are loads of lovely, patient dentists who are really good if you are anxious. I would Google dentists that specialise in anxious patients, you might be able to find a surgery that does sedation on sight so it is a bit quicker. What is it your scared of? Let them know you are scared, if theres anything you think would help they can do that and they will also know ways of helping you. You can take headphones if you think it would help and listen to music or an audio book to distract you, you can take something to fiddle with if that helps. They will take it at your pace, they won't force you to have anything you don't want or you feel you can't handle at that point in time. It's your mouth and you are in control even though it doesn't always feel like it.
There's nothing a dentist can do that will be worse than leaving a painful, infected tooth. You don't loose all your teeth because of this wisdom tooth but it's still important to get it sorted earlier rather than later.
Remember that there are lots of people with dental phobias, you wont be the first the dentist has seen and a good dentist will be able to help you, they see people with phobias everyday and they will understand.

OP the dentist can give you a prescription, well ours did for my husband. Also where I live there is a special needs dentist and he sees people with phobias, dementia, mental health problems that mean people might react in an unexpected way. He is supposed to be brilliant but DH didn't go to him but might be worth investigating.

I hate the dentist too but I go for my check ups etc. I take a stress ball with me - you know one of those squashy, rubbery things - and squeeze the living daylights out of that when I’m in the chair. Gives me something to concentrate on and stops my finger nails digging into the arm rest!

Just as a side note; I no longer need the Valium to go to the dentist. I do have the numbing gel when I can tho 🤣