Would you be annoyed by this?

[Booboostwo]

My DC's school was having a week of special events around books and reading. We live in France and they asked me to read the children an English book as one of the special events. Another mum who is an author spoke to the children about her job.

The school put up a notice listing the events on the parent notice board. They referred to me as "DC1 and DC2's mum". The referred to the other parent as "Madame Surname, author". Isn't this a bit rude? Shouldn't they have used the same mode of address for both of us?

EH?

I'd not be annoyed, but it is a bit rude. I suppose you were asked in your capacity as a mum and she was asked as an author? You could ask them to correct it.

I think an author is worth more kudos than just any old child’s mum.

Well, you’re coming in as your capacity as an English speaker and mum; she is coming in as a professional, it’s incidental that she is also a mum of a child in school.

They should had done Mme Booboostwo, DC1 and 2 mother though.

Yes. I would be very annoyed by that. Have you mentioned it to them? If you haven’t you should ASAP, perhaps they can amend it before the date.

I am not annoyed enough to raise it with them and it was all last week so the poster is down.

I see the point about me coming in in my capacity as an English speaker but not sure why I shouldn't have been addressed by title and surname. I can see why they needn't have addressed me as Dr Booboos, philosopher, as I was not going to talk to them about philosophy or academia, but she was Mme Surname and i didn't have even my first name mentioned (they do know my first name and surname, title and profession just in case anyone is wondering).

think an author is worth more kudos than just any old child’s mum

What an enormously ignorant thing to say. How do you know OP isn’t an expert in some other profession? She’s not asking that they address her as Dr, Rev etc she’s just asking they accord her normal common courtesy of which ‘Madame’which is standard. Why would you be happy to simply be referred to X & Y’s mum? On a school poster advertising an event. Do we stop using our own names once we have children?

Crossed posts with OP. Exactly my point.

Whoever wrote the notice was thoughtless.

It's a bit odd. Could it be that the person who did the poster couldn't think of your name? I can't think why else they didn't use it

"What an enormously ignorant thing to say."

It's for a week about books. However indignant you'd like to be, an author is worth more to a school during this week than a regular mother.

On the bright side I bet your child’s loved see their names on the posters and the other kids did not get a mention!

I think reducing anybody to so and so' mother is rude, it's got nothing to do with roles or professional qualifications, it's just respecting her as a person in her own right (who also happens to have a PhD!!!)

What does a PhD have to do with anything?

Well if I had done the poster I would have put you as Mrs Jane Boo, not to ignore your chosen professional title but to highlight that you are English reading an English book, as I would name a French woman Mme Jane Whoever on a similar poster in Engalnd.

It would piss me off a bit yes.

It wouldn't annoy me.

'An author is worth more to the school than a regular mother' -

Does this remove the need for common courtesy? If she's worth so little, why ask her?

"worth so little" isn't something I said. I said worth less than an author in this specific week. Surely you see the difference?

"Common courtesy" is very relative and I don't think it's rude.

Staff and students are more likely to know x and y's Mummy than "Mrs Blah"

YANBU
Whoever wrote the sign is ignorant and rude.

A compromise could've been:

Mrs/Miss/Ms/Madame Jane Smith (Bill and Ben's mum)
Reading an English storybook ("Famous Five Go on Holiday", by Enid Blyton).

Mrs/Miss/Ms/Madame Paris Hilton (Francois' mum)
Author of "101 Great French Stories". Discussing aspects of her job as an author.

Using someone's name as opposed to defining them by their relationships to others is definitely common courtesy. Whether or not you use someone's name shouldn't be defined by how much they are "worth" to you in that specific week; it is a very basic form of recognition that everyone deserves.

And the Speaker of the House of Commons agrees with me! Granted, it weakens my argument that he is John Bercow.

I think there is no need to be so worried about your perceived status

The PhD is relevant because they had a tittle to use if they had chosen to, so it wasn't not knowing what ti put down and going for "mum" for want of a different title

also, why do people get so prickly at mention of PhDs? it's a title, she has learnt, it's bloody hard work, too, why should it not be used?

I didn't get prickly about the mention of a PhD. I have a PhD and several other letters after my name(including some from the Queen) and am well aware of the work which goes into obtaining them.

It shouldn't be used unless relevant as it would make me / them sound like a twat and it's certainly irrelevant here.

I did not expect the poster to refer to me as Dr Booboos. I appreciate that outside of an academic context using the Dr title can seem pretentious. I did expect the poster to refer to all participants to the week in similar terms.

I don't quite get the 'lesser worth' argument. I gave a brilliant rendition of the Griffalo complete with stuffed toys for all the characters! But seriously, I don't see why the poster should have indicated that one contributor was of more worth than another in the first place.