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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel tense about this?

40 replies

Spidermama · 27/03/2018 20:10

I'm organising an Easter get together at a big farmhouse for 30 of us. It's my friend's farmhouse and the accommodation is in dorms. We have one extra person, so I will be bringing a mattress. Everyone else is in bunk beds.
One friend, who has a 5 year old, is complaining about how hard it will be to convince a child to go on a mattress on the floor when everyone else has a bunk bed. The mattress is foam and perfectly comfortable for a little one, but would be less so for an adult. There are 4 little ones in that dorm.. Do 5 and 6 year olds really care that they have a mattress not a bed? Will they kick off?
I have teenagers now and no little ones and I can't help thinking the parents shouldn't give in to this sort of crap. You just do a first come first serve basis. I can't help thinking mum is being more precious about this than her son would be.
AIBU?

OP posts:
DOTLEYtheONEeyedDINO · 27/03/2018 20:13

No, 5 or 6 year olds do not care about having a proper bed... but they would probably fancy the top bunk! You'll have to make sleeping on the floor exciting somehow!!!

Ohyesiam · 27/03/2018 20:15

Both of mine would have loved it

Crispbutty · 27/03/2018 20:16

I can honestly say I would be comfier on a mattress on the floor than a bunk bed. I worked at the youth hostel and those bunk mattresses are bloody hard.

Outnotdown · 27/03/2018 20:17

I had three small kids and a room with bunks and a mattress, they argued over who got the floorSmile.
That age, everything is a novelty and exciting. The mother needs to cop on

kitkatsky · 27/03/2018 20:19

Maybe suggest precious parent lets precious child have their bunk and they can take the foam mattress? Or share their bunk with a human washing machine if they sleep like my DD!

Arapaima · 27/03/2018 20:20

My DC would be fine with that. But having been on holiday with other families, I have found that some children do have quite a fixed bedtime routine and don't like it to be disrupted. Maybe the parent is a bit nervous about how they (the DC) will find the dorm-style rooms?

upsideup · 27/03/2018 20:21

All 4 of mine love sleeping on the floor and do it and all do it the playroom at home when they have beds to sleep in.
But my 4 year old would probably be upset if they were the only one having to and all the other kids got to share bunk beds that does seem a bit mean but some kids might not care.

Curtainshopping · 27/03/2018 20:22

If there’s four kids going in the room, why not just let them decide between them when they get there? Why has her child been allocated the mattress ahead of time?

UpstartCrow · 27/03/2018 20:22

I hate bunk beds, I always use to worry I'd be squashed by the top bunk or fall off. It won't be a problem.

Shedmicehugh1 · 27/03/2018 20:23

Couldn’t the 4 little ones take it turns to sleep on the mattress?

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 27/03/2018 20:25

Mine would have loved it.

Tell the parents they are welcome to bring a bed that will suit their little darling better. There aren't any other options because all the beds are taken. Of course one of the parents could sacrifice their bed for little darling if they feel very strongly.

Original poster
Spidermama · 27/03/2018 20:32

Curtainshopping she hasn't been allocated the mattress. I've just mentioned that I think it would be a good idea for a small child to go on the mattress. She's just having a pre-emptive moan expressing concern ahead of the event because she's worried her boy might object I guess.
Thanks all. I'll just let them work it out for themselves.
Ironically the mum who's doing the pre-emptive moan is the reason why there's an extra person. When 2 dropped out, she wanted a family of 3 to come because their little one is good friends with her little one. (Fair enough).

OP posts:
Shedmicehugh1 · 27/03/2018 20:53

Any reason why he might find it difficult to sleep on the floor? Health reasons etc?

HollowTalk · 27/03/2018 20:56

Then it's her family that should have the mattress and she should be reminded of that.

Original poster
Spidermama · 27/03/2018 20:57

Nope. He's a fit and healthy lovely little boy. And there are 2 other little ones who could end up on the mattress. I think I'll just insist on first come first serve. They can choose their beds when they arrive.

I've had another text and she's throwing her toys out of the pram. It's upsetting because I've put a lot into organising this and it will create bad feeling from the offset.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 27/03/2018 20:58

How many nights are you going for? Thinking the children can take it in turns. Maybe by drawing straw or something similar. Open to parent to give up their bunk for their child if they want to.
Or ask if anyone in the group has a bigger mattress more suitable for adults? Surely some of them camp!

Original poster
Spidermama · 27/03/2018 20:58

Hollow I have reminded her about the numbers thing. She's kicking off. Angry

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 27/03/2018 21:02

It's upsetting because I've put a lot into organising this and it will create bad feeling from the offset

I would say exactly that in a text and then switch my phone off. She's very cheeky.

HollowTalk · 27/03/2018 21:03

And tell her "If you'd rather pull out, we'd all understand, given you are clearly unhappy with the arrangements."

I think you'd all be happier without her there.

Shedmicehugh1 · 27/03/2018 21:03

Exactly I agree with Leeds, let mum give up her bed if she is that bothered!

ShawshanksRedemption · 27/03/2018 21:04

Is the parent the sort of dorm, let's all muck in, kind of person? Or someone that likes their own room, privacy etc?

Because it sounds to me like they're the former and uncomfortable with the situation and trying to change it to suit themselves.

[I'll be honest, dorms are for younger people, and some people, incl myself, would just not go down this route - we'd stay in a local hotel instead!]

ShawshanksRedemption · 27/03/2018 21:05

Sorry, sounds like they are the latter, not former. Like their home comforts.

Custardo · 27/03/2018 21:07

can you get a pop up tent - you can get them pretty cheap - every kid loves a tent - i bet the kids fight over who goes in a tent an leave beds free

dobbythedoggy · 27/03/2018 21:09

Would any of the smaller ones be able to top and tail if it's going to be that much of an issue. My 5 year old would probably sleep better on the floor to be honest but would enjoy climbing the bunkbeds.

Original poster
Spidermama · 27/03/2018 21:09

Shaw shanks this is the 3rd year we've been. She's been in that dorm for the past 2 years with no complaints.
She's now trying to suggest one of the teenagers give up their mattress so her boy can have it. I've pointed out that the teenagers are all adult size and the small mattress is for small people.
I'm just about managing to remain polite because my holiday is at stake here and that of 29 others.

OP posts: