DS's friendship group have become very chatty in the evenings by phone and social media. It is all very lovely and sociable but he was getting to bed later and later, so for school nights we recently introduced a deadline of 9.30 for the phone to be plugged in downstairs, and him to be saying goodnight and heading up to bed. We've said he can read until 10, though we don't go up and impose "lights out" so he knows he can read for longer if he wants to.
This seems very fair and reasonable to me, and he's accepted it up to a point, though gets very angsty on nights when the chat is just getting interesting by the deadline, or when he's had a busy evening with clubs and homework and less time to chat. Then we get "nobody else has to go to bed at 9.30!!!".
The small number of his friends' parents I know either impose a similar/earlier deadline (but they don't count apparently) or else are generally way too relaxed/naïve on a range of issues in my opinion.
So, please reassure me that 9.30 isn't unreasonable?! I do think he needs some phone-free wind-down time before sleep. He gets up at 7. The guidance (which he keeps quoting at me) is for his age-group to have 8-10 hours sleep a night, so there is scope to extend it a little (maybe in Year 10 as a reward if he stops moaning about his Year 9 deadline), but I don't think any kind of deadline is ever going to be popular.