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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To want to abandon this holiday 'cos of stroppy DS?

55 replies

Tinkobell · 27/03/2018 09:21

DS Aged 15 driving everyone mad. Face like thunder, shouts "What've I done wrong now?" ....if you hold eyes for more that 3 seconds, that is. Stroppy, rude, random off thread comments, ungrateful. It's Kevin the teenager. Late last night made random yell sound, dashed in to see if ok, denied it. We are on a holiday, he's upsetting everyone. Am tempted to pack my case & leave or make him pack his bag and leave - with DH. Badly badly needed this holiday rest. Any tips ????

OP posts:
EvilEdna1 · 27/03/2018 18:34

I have done Christmas on the IOW with a nearly 15 year old and he really liked it here: www.wmahm.org.uk/

It was the only time he became animated all week.

OnTheRise · 27/03/2018 18:35

Rainy family holidays are not much fun.

I'd take him to one side and ask what was wrong and what we could do to make things better; ask that he tries to make the best of it because being miserable isn't helping; and then I'd try to do a few things that would be ridiculous and fun.

I remember paddling in the sea on rainy days, wearing a mac and wellies. It was great. The IOW is a great place for sailing, so you could try that; I think you can go on speedy boat-rides round the Needles, that sort of thing, which might be of interest.

If none of that helps it's only a few more days. You can eat plenty of cream teas in that time.

buttonz · 27/03/2018 18:50

Oh God, I was vile on a holiday with my parents when I was 15.

We were in a remote part of France and I was bored stiff. I wanted to meet boys other kids my age but our stuffy, grand hotel was full of ancient old folk.

My parents wanted to go and see local sites and we spent a lot of time visiting prehistoric cave paintings,

Looking back, I just had that teenage lack of empathy and general insensitivity that kids that age have.

Now, I am mother to a 15 year old and he is equally difficult, so I do sympathise!

crimsonlake · 27/03/2018 18:59

Perhaps you have chosen this destination without taking in to account whether there would be enough to appeal to your son?
Remember at 15 years of age there is probably going to be very few truly family holidays left. Hope you can all enjoy what is left of this holiday and perhaps consult your son a little more over the next destination.

HonkyWonkWoman · 27/03/2018 19:02

Centre Parks next time! He needs more activities. Is there a Go-carting place or a trampoline place.
IOW in the rain is not the best for a 15 year old boy.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 27/03/2018 19:03

Ah yes, my dn stropped like a good un three years on the trot. In the end dns parent threatened to go home and to take all the money (we were AI so wouldn't starve) and his phone.
We don't go with them anymore.

Northernparent68 · 27/03/2018 19:08

Was your son consulted about the holiday ?

Echobelly · 27/03/2018 19:10

If he's going to be a misery, maybe nicest for you to let him sit in his room on whatever device he is glued to while you go out and enjoy yourselves.

Teenage holidays must be hard when nothing impresses them! I have seen teenager sitting in the lobbies of art galleries on their phones while their parents have a look around. We were all quite easygoing teenagers and fortunately were also into walking around cathedrals etc like our parents, but I'm not sure what we'd have done for holidays if we hadn't liked those things, given it was before phones.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 27/03/2018 19:17

Land yachting? Looked fun.

www.tackt-isle.co.uk

IlleIllaIllud · 27/03/2018 19:22

Bloody teenagers. Nothing constructive to say, but bloody teenagers. I have given up taking mine on "family" holidays, not least as their idea of holiday entertainment is winding one another up to the point of bloodshed, which they can do for free at home. I take them for cheapo UK weekends away, separately. The deal is that I get to do a few things that I'm interested in (and they have to put up with it), and they get to do a few things they're interested in (Primark, in the case of DD, classical music recitals in the case of DS). We then find a bit of common ground (Pizza Express, with Tesco vouchers). Sigh.

Goodasgoldilox · 27/03/2018 19:38

Who would be 15 again! ...As for living with one in the sulks!

Why do they do daycare for little-uns and not for teens? If gathered into a 'playgroup' at least they could all sulk together.

He needs to be somewhere where there are beautiful girls to be ignored by. This is just as miserable but much more occupying. There is hope at the stables. Lost of beautiful ones love horses much more than boys.

Hang in there- even Kevin the teenager did get better eventually.

5BlueHydrangea · 27/03/2018 19:49

Go karts in Ryde.. www.wightkarting.co.uk/
Have watched them and they look great fun. Dd was too young at the time but this summer...
It's behind the big Tesco in Ryde.

AJPTaylor · 27/03/2018 19:49

just leave him at the holiday home and go out for the day.

AJPTaylor · 27/03/2018 19:55

or do what i did in extremis on a holiday in pissing rain in wales. i gave teen dds ten pounds in their hand each day they had been reasonable

Parky04 · 27/03/2018 20:13

Remember this so well. My DS 13 was a nightmare. Sucked the life out of most holidays. Didn't take him after this. Me and the DW now go on our own.

SweetMoon · 27/03/2018 20:19
  1. A delightful age. It's as though my lovely funny dd was replaced overnight with this hideous alien creature who just finds the negative in anything around her. I'm waiting for the alien to be beamed back up and have my dd back. Apparently that should happen in about 2-3 years Confused.

Not sure what to suggest really, nonpoint dragging him out with you if he will just ruin it. Leave him in watching tv with a pizza maybe?

goose1964 · 27/03/2018 20:23

At least he hasn't kicked a room and fractured his toe

goose1964 · 27/03/2018 20:24

Rock not room

overnightangel · 27/03/2018 20:25

“Was your son consulted about the holiday ?“
FFS 🙄

AJPTaylor · 27/03/2018 20:38

but hey, could be worse. dfriend took her 16 year old dd to Whistler skiing at eyewatering expense.
she refused to leave the room. at least your stropper hasnt cost you thousands and you are not facing an 8 hour flight home!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 27/03/2018 20:56

What’s wrong with asking the OP if he was consulted about the holiday? I assume it’s because if the answer from DS before the holiday was “yes, I’ll come” rather than sulking about it before he’s even started, OP has got plenty of ammunition to tell him it as his choice to come and so he’d better buck his ideas up!
Grin

phoenix1973 · 28/03/2018 08:26

Tell him you're going out he can call if necessary . Why dance to his tune? Whatever you do won't be good enough.
My dd is 11 and a stropper but not ruined holidays YET.

orangesmartieseggs · 28/03/2018 08:37

“Was your son consulted about the holiday ?“

FFS 🙄

What's wrong with asking a 15yo where they want to go on holiday? I have vivid memories of being dragged to Wasdale in rural Cumbria over Easter one year - it pissed it down with rain, there was no internet, TV or radio signal and there was nothing to do except walking, reading or sitting in the car for 40 minutes to get somewhere.

I hated it. I was bored, had no means of even speaking to my friends and couldn't even go to the shops on my own cause there was nothing within walking distance. We never went back!

I think at a certain age kids should be asked about what they want - city or country, beach or mountains, hotel or villa and give them some kind of choice over things. And you need to pick some activities that'll appeal to them - no point making a family holiday all about things one member will absolutely hate!

lightlypoached · 28/03/2018 08:44

Take the phone. Only allow a certain amount of 'screen time' and don't rise to the bait. Do avoid compulsory photos and pony rides, but do enforce 'nice family walks' where you can banter - they will eventually thaw out. Also give them a task of planning shopping for, and cooking, a dinner for you all.
We've had a couple of our holidays severely dented by DD (who to be fair has MH issues but was a bloody nightmare) and it's infuriating. not rising to the bait is key I think - and letting them lie in too. Plus a cheeky sip or two of wine with adults at dinner can also help them step up to join the boring grown ups too.

Byebyebye · 28/03/2018 09:00

I don’t understand these I would never dare express my feelings towards my parents attitudes. It’s a different time now, if you weren’t brought up with an iron fist why would you be afraid to be sulky?

Anyway if you haven’t organised any or many activities that your son would enjoy, of course he isn’t having a fun. Sitting on ponies in the rain?? I would have stormed off at 15 and I’m 12 years older then your son.