To think I’m a fraud?

[Finnyhaddock]

Just an occasional thought but worries me all the same.
I have made a lovely new friend and she took me round her house yesterday. So some time soon I’ll show her mine/have coffee etc.
I have two gorgeous DC - this sounds completely stupid but I almost feel as if I have made them up.
Is it because I think I’m not worthy to have had them?
Years ago, at university, I felt the same. That I was almost imagining I was there.
It’s odd don’t you think?

It is odd, my love. What else is going on in your life? Who do you have around you?

Research impostor syndrome, sounds like you could suffer from this -the feeling that you're a fraud and 'not good enough' especially if you have had the feeling before.

I think it's easy for people to feel "not good enough" based on their upbringing, and to then find it hard to reconcile the evidence to the contrary. A sort of disconnect between the life you've got and the one you feel you deserve. Is it like that?

I’m at a much better place than I ever was. It’s just a fleeting thing. I don’t think I deserve it I suppose.
I’m coming to understand more about my upbringing as I get older. It was not idyllic!
I’m interested in a bit of navel gazing at the moment.

Just read a little and had a thought that fleeted through my head! My DH and I have a somewhat strained relationship and part of that is that I feel he never acknowledges how much work and effort has gone into raising our family, sorting out my mum’s problems, working, being disabled etc.
If I’m completely honest I do suffer from anxiety, always have and although my DH is a good man we are not in a sexual relationship.