Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To book weekend away the weekend of friends cancelled wedding?

52 replies

BrideOfChucky · 26/03/2018 23:08

DP and I were meant to be going to a friends wedding which is 8 hours from home.
We were meant to be there 2 nights 3 days with the wedding being on day 2.
We haven't been away since our 2 year old was born as we don't have family/friends locally to help - we live very remotely.
Anyway, my mum managed to get the time off work to have DD for all 3 days so we we booked our hotel to go..bla bla.

1 week to go now until the wedding and the bride and groom have really fallen out, messy split all over FB and very public (screenshots of angry text messages!)
We've both messaged them (she's a very old childhood friend of mine and he's a more recent friend of DHs) but not had a reply from either of them. People close to them have told us that the wedding isn't on and the hen/stag this week were cancelled.

I suggested to DH that we book somewhere else (closer to home) that weekend as we have a babysitter and the time off work and spend some time together. He really wants to do something just us too but is worried incase the wedding is suddenly back-on and then we loose out on deposits for the new hotel booking as he thinks we would have to go to the wedding. I think even if they decide to go ahead with it, it would all seem very false now.

Would we be unreasonable to book our own thing for that weekend? Or is that in bad taste.
Maybe I'm being terribly fickle but I'd love some time with my husband alone! Blush

Have NCd for this Blush

OP posts:
inamechangedforthispost · 27/03/2018 07:12

Maybe the wedding stress got to them! It seems strange with a week to go that they haven't informed people that it's cancelled.

Do you know for sure the hen/stag do's aren't going ahead or is it gossip? Seems very late in the day for them to be happening as well, they're usually a not as close to the wedding date.

Gabilan · 27/03/2018 07:25

if by any chance you wish to, or do let FB in your life, you are now an old fossil.

And? I have concerns over it mining data. I'm not bothered whether or not it's associated with a particular age bracket.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/03/2018 07:31

I think I’d feel a bit of a hypocrite celebrating a wedding I thought was such a bad idea, even if they do carry on. I’d definitely go away for the weekend.

CoffeeOrSleep · 27/03/2018 07:38

I'd contact the bride/grooms mother (which ever side you are an invite for) and say you don't want to disturb them at this awkward time, but you need to confirm or cancel your childcare and need to know if it's needed or not.

Ickyockycocky · 27/03/2018 07:39

Perfectly reasonable for you to organise time away for yourselves.

CoffeeOrSleep · 27/03/2018 07:39

Oh and agree once you've got confirmation, see if the hotel the wedding is at has a sister hotel and will transfer your deposit, they might be understanding given the wedding being cancelled.

BrownTurkey · 27/03/2018 07:53

I wouldn’t contact anyone. But perfectly reasonable to assume its off.

FleurDelacoeur · 27/03/2018 07:54

I'd wait to hear for certain that the wedding is off, then definitely book something.

BluePheasant · 27/03/2018 07:59

Sounds like you’re pretty safe to assume it’s all being called off. They’ve mde it public all over fb (classy) so they can hardly complain if ppl don’t turn up if they do decide to go ahead.

I’d probably sacrifice the hotel deposit for the sake of having a weekend away closer to home. More time to relax instead of stuck in the car.

Bodicea · 27/03/2018 08:03

Book a hotel with free cancellation policy

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2018 08:04

Sister hotel a brilliant idea, you wouldn't even lose deposit

Toast3 · 27/03/2018 08:09

Don’t let their drama become your drama. If they hadn’t made it so public you wouldn’t have even been aware. But they did. Do what suits you 👍

tortelliniforever · 27/03/2018 08:22

When is the wedding? Surely you could book something even just a few days before, or alternatively book something that you can cancel with no deposit? (Lots on booking.com).

Beamur · 27/03/2018 08:23

Can you contact either the Brides mother or a bridesmaid for a decision on if it's going ahead or not?

Branleuse · 27/03/2018 08:23

id book somewhere else.

Even if the wedding was back on, I wouldnt attend a farce wedding

Original poster
BrideOfChucky · 27/03/2018 08:28

Thanks for messages over night. I posted here because I've never been in a situation like it before and it's all very awkward. I've messaged the only bridesmaid I know and she said she doesn't know what the hell is going on with it all either.

It's DH saying we shouldn't book anything until we know for sure but I don't want to hang around and risk us not going anywhere at all over a wedding which may go ahead, but that I now wouldn't want to go to anyway.

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 27/03/2018 08:28

If the wedding is definitely off, then I'd definitely still use the free time to have some time away with DP.

Keep it subtle though and no photos or statuses on Facebook about your weekend away.

I'd agree with PP to booking something with no cancellation charges though in case the couple suddenly decide the wedding is back on.

Sweetpea55 · 27/03/2018 08:29

Don't cancel the wedding hotel incase its still going ahead..but also book another one nearer home with Booking .com..You can easily cancel one or the other,,And surely they wouldn't leave it until the day before to say the wedding was still on?

Original poster
BrideOfChucky · 27/03/2018 08:34

@Sweetpea55 you wouldn't think so, but we all thought we would know by now!

OP posts:
Littlechocola · 27/03/2018 08:36

I would arrange something else. Use the time that you’ve got to do something fun with your dp rather than maybe sitting watching two people who air their dirty laundry in public make fake vows to promise their lives to one another.

Although saying that, if it is on it might be explosive.

YellowFlower201 · 27/03/2018 08:53

I think you've done the polite thing and tried to contact them and a BM for information. time to take back control.
I would message them again saying you're sorry to bother at this difficult time (blah, blah) but that you must know whether it's on or not by tomorrow morning. If you don't hear back you'll have to assume that sadly they've had to cancel and you'll make arrangements at your end.
Then go book a nice hotel somewhere closer.

JaneEyre70 · 27/03/2018 09:03

I'd ring the venue direct, and see if the wedding has been cancelled. And if it is still going ahead, there's a fair chance it's going to be very stressful and full of drama. I'd find somewhere else, tbh, and enjoy a relaxing weekend away with your OH. Plus if you've not left your little one before, 8 hours away is a long way.... I'd find somewhere closer for peace of mind.

BluePheasant · 27/03/2018 09:15

If the bridesmaids don’t even know what’s going on then I’d forget it and make my own plans.

Let’s face it, even if it goes ahead the atmosphere is going to feel weird and awkward and the marriage isn’t going to last 5 minutes.

ObiJuanKenobi · 27/03/2018 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohwhataday · 27/03/2018 09:41

Ringing the venue directly is a great idea. They'll should know if it's been cancelled.
What an awkward situation. If you deposit on the wedding hotel isn't too big I think I'd find somewhere lovely nearer home.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.