Aibu 're birth announcement

[Rachiie]

Me and OH work in the hospital where we are going to be having the baby.
I'm concerned that all our colleagues will want to come up to see baby whilst we are there. We are likely to need a c section due to low lying placenta as it stands, so I'll be an inpatient for a couple of days most likely.
I don't want colleagues coming up and seeing me and the baby before family have met the baby.
OH thinks I'm being silly and that it's understandable that they'd want to come up, but its really bothering me. I feel like our families should get to meet our child before people we work with.
I feel the same about social media announcements, I'd prefer no pictures on social media until at least our parents have met the baby. Fair enough, I don't mind OH posting that the baby is here and doing well etc, but I want families to see them in person before everyone gets to see a picture.
OH doesn't understand why it is a big deal to me, and is insisting he's going to put it online with a picture when they're here. I've tried explaining to him so many times but he doesn't seem to understand.
AIBU to want family to physically meet our child before colleagues do or pictures go online?
Also, with it likely being a planned section we will know the date in advance. I'm happy for family and very close friends to know the date in advance, but I don't want colleagues knowing. Is this unreasonable? OH doesn't see an issue with everyone knowing the date our child will be born

OH doesn't mean to be dismissive, he just doesn't understand why I want some privacy post birth. There are lots of children already on his side (child will have 9 cousins!) but it will be the first baby on my side.
I think he's just excited and wants to show baby off, but I'm thinking more about the post surgery/ emotional/ brand new born baby thing.
He also isn't bothered about people visiting us at home within a week of the birth and I'm a bit more like give it time, certain people yes but not all at once and bearing in mind I'll be recovering from surgery, and trying to establish breast feeding so won't want a house full. (Especially not all 9 cousins who range from 1-9 😣 turning up at once)

I had an EMCS, lost loads of blood and ended up in ITU, where one of my anti natal class mates worked. People knew I was due first and asked her if I had had the baby. As she found out through her job, she could not and did not tell anyone.

I hope those looking after you will be as professional.

There’s a point you're a patient not the worker and your privacy,wishes and needs must be met
The familiarity of it all is probably making your dh miss the point yiu need recovery,privacy etc
Not a bus load of colleagues all arriving ,as well meaning as it is for colleagues to pop in I agree it’d be exhausting for you

I gave birth in the hospital I work at and I kept it quiet until we had gone home for this reason. I heard of someone once looking up on the computer system when they knew a colleague was in labour to see when the baby arrived and it's name! Awful!

I think you've got to massively put your foot down. He can put it on Facebook immediately after all your family know and have had the time/opportunity to visit, Tell him if he thinks that he can rough ride over your feelings when you've just given birth to his first child he will very quickly find himself a single dad only seeing his child every other weekend. It doesn't matter whether he gets it or not, you're the one that's just had an operation as well as a baby and you're the one who gets to decide. I'm v pro dads being important too, but at this moment they're not.

He doesn’t need to see the issue, he just needs to take your feelings into account. Is he the one in a vulnerable position, or you?

YABU. Relax and see the fun in it. You’re making too many rules and regulations.

I think your DH is as allowed to want to share the news on facebook as you are to not want to share it tbh. it's his baby too.

Hmm, I think you are really overthinking this but as you are pregnant I think you are allowed to. 😊 Is the a reason you can’t just ask your colleagues not to visit?

I understand your reasoning for not wanting your DH to post about it on social media but are you sure your parents would care. If didn’t even cross my mind that there was a hierarchy as to when certain people get to meet new babies but havin* been a member of Mumsnet for sometime I now know that it’s EXTREMELY important to some people.

Even if other people see a photo of your baby it would be your parents and parent in laws who meet your baby first. Surely that’s the important thing.

TBH it doesn’t really matter what other people think, it’s you and your husbands baby and you should do whatever you want.

Yes agree your dh is being stupid.

This is about you and your body and privacy not about him.

How old is your DH that he is this obsessed with Facebook?

I would suggest that you suggest to DH that when you get home you were hoping for a ‘visiting afternoon’ and then anyone who wants to come round can do so at that time. Then specify 2 hrs and DH can be on full biscuit and tea duties and you can sit on the sofa in state with LO. Then after 2 hrs kick everyone out (if you have a rellie who is quite bossy with a loud voice, ask them in advance to help with this)

This might help bunch all the visitors into one quick session and you wont have to worry the rest of the time.

If your DH is insistent on posting a photo on facebook, maybe ask that he posts a more general shot with the news, and then you take a particularly sweet photo and send it to just your parents and his parents emails half an hour before he posts. That way the Grnadparents get a personal email with the best photo first and everyone else gets a general announcement with a photo of LO’s hand holding DH’s fingers or something like that.

I also work at the hospital where I had my son, the security on the maternity ward were very strict. A colleague asked my midwife if I'd had the baby and how we were, the nurse said she couldn't give out any information then came to tell me about the conversation. I hadn't told anyone on the ward that I worked in the hospital I just wanted to be a patient. Another colleague unexpected went in to labour (we didn't know at the time she went up to be checked over) she left her bag and coat in the dept where I work, we were concern about her house/car keys so called to ask if she wanted them taken up there. Again no information was divulged they were very firm and professional. If you are still concerned just tell them, I'm sure they are used to dealing with over zealous visitors.

Just send a photo to your parents etc first then he can do his post after that. I’m not a massive facebooker but it has its uses to spread news fast.

And he sounds like a proud father.

Oh doesn't need to understand. He just needs to respect your wishes.