To uninvite this child on night away?

[embod]

So my daughter started High School in September - her best friend from primary was put in the same form as her and until recently everything has been great.
We’re going away overnight next month and had invite her friend to join us. Anyway last week they had quite a nasty falling out. My daughter phoned me in tears and some horrible things have been said (my daughter is far from innocent but she was also pretty badly treated by said friend).

I’m sure it’ll blow over but I’m fairly sure their friendship has moved on and they won’t be as close as before.

So what I’m wondering is should I message the Mum now explaining that under the circumstances she’s uninvited (as this may fuel the argument between the girls) or as I asked a few months ago just not contact her regarding the details and hope she’s forgotten about it.

I’d wait a week or so and see what happens with the girls friendship.

What does your Dd want? Would you go away with someone you didn't enjoy spending time with? It maybe she doesn't feel they'll have a good time and so would rather cancel her.

I would message her and ask for a chat, saying that not sure if she remembers but you had discussed going away but under the circumstances you imagine daughter won’t any to come and it might be better for her not to come on this occasion until relations are better .( keep it hopeful). I would NOT use the term uninvited as it sounds provoking.

I think you should wait and see what the girls sort out between them. If they are still on the outs closer to the time then the girl wouldn’t want to go, would she? How old are these girls?

When is the night away and what does your dd want to do?

OP, I think the girl will find a way not to come and solve the problem for you.

I would definitely give it a week and see. If the friendship is permanently damaged then I would just not provide any details and if asked say to the mum in light of the fall out it’s obviously not a good idea..

I doubt she will want to come so I'd be inclined to let the dust settle and see what happens. They are all a nightmare at this age.

Oh I couldn’t be arsed with this when my girls were young teens.

Wait until nearer the time and see. They probably have made it up by then.

Ages 11 to 14 are pretty vile. Don’t take it too seriously.

And dont fall out with other parents. The kids will make up far quicker than you will.

Phrase it carefully. Uninvited is not s good word.

I would message the mum say the girls have had a row fallen out and you want to wait a week or so to see how it pans out. It is better the other parents know your intentions from the off. You don't need to say who said what to who.

I would message the mum say the girls have had a row fallen out and you want to wait a week or so to see how it pans out. It is better the other parents know your intentions from the off. You don't need to say who said what to who
This ^, girls are always having falling outs, they may both be over it in a few weeks, and you cancelling the child's invite may cement the problem.

I would wait a little while and then make up a good reason that the friend can no longer come. I am not usually like to lie but it would save a lot of awkwardness for your daughter and her friend.

Wouldn't get involved at this point. You're at risk of micromanaging it into a far worse 'thing'. They're kids and it'll blow over.

I would only message the mother of you know she’s sensible.

Some are and some are like bloody teenagers themselves. I would tried very carefully here

Thanks all! Yes uninvited isn’t the best word in retrospect so definitely won’t use it.
My DD, at this point, definitely doesn’t want friend there but I’m well aware how quickly things can blow over with this age range. If I’m honest I’m kicking myself for inviting do early.

butt out and let them sort it themselves, if your DD doesn't want friend stay a friend it'll happen without you wading in and getting involved.

Imho wait a week then have an meet up to plan what's going on that night and if it's obvious there are still issues then stop it there and then.

Does the other parent know what's happened? Could it lead to communication issues depending on what's planned and is it chaperones?

I've done plenty of above as a kid and responsible adult and any doubts at all just cancel her invite and tell them why.