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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Playing guns

16 replies

whyismykid · 26/03/2018 16:31

DS is 6 and the boy down the street that he plays with has just come to call for him wearing a full on flack jacket with about four nerf guns and loads of foam bullets. I feel massively uncomfortable about kids playing with guns in such a full on way - using a stick as a gun, a water pistol is maybe ok - but this Kids was decked out as if he was going on an assault. Am I being massively special snowflake? I think in a world where a teenager can walk into a school and just shoot to kill, any normalisation of gun violence through play is just abhorrent. Can anyone tell me a reasoned argument for why it’s ok to play with guns?

OP posts:
Smilingthru · 26/03/2018 16:33

Totally with you. I hate it! Like you say it’s not appropriate for the world we live in today. X

FranticallyPeaceful · 26/03/2018 16:34

I used to do similar as a child, and I haven’t gone on any murderous rampages as of yet

BevBrook · 26/03/2018 16:37

There's a book called We Don't Play With Guns Here [https://www.amazon.co.uk/DonT-Play-Guns-Here-Superhero/dp/0335210899] which looks at the issue and gives some pro-gun play arguments. A lady called Jane Katch has also written an interesting book, Under Deadman's Skin [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Under-Deadmans-Skin-Discovering-Childrens/dp/0807031291] on the subject of children playing seemingly disturbing games.

QueenB14 · 26/03/2018 16:37

I don't know really, I suppose running around playing imaginative games (goodies and baddies, soldiers etc) is better than playing shooting games on consoles but I cant say I'm a fan of toy guns in general

itstimeforanamechange · 26/03/2018 16:38

I can't really give you a reasoned argument except that even if kids don't have guns they will use twigs, sticks or even two fingers and shout "bang bang you're dead".

And that things like Quasar are fun.

And that the people (in 99.999999% of cases men) who go out on murderous rampages are criminal murdering arseholes and would have been whether or not they played with guns as children, which we don't know.

I'd prefer to deal with male violence. And inadequate gun laws.

Original poster
whyismykid · 26/03/2018 16:39

Thanks for the Book recommendations Bev Brook - that’s really helpful

OP posts:
Kokapetl · 26/03/2018 16:40

I'm not comfortable about it either. It is quite hard to explain to a 4 year old (DS) though. He thinks guns only shoot "baddies " .

The only positive I can think of is that if a stick is a gun, it is waved around at a good distance from the other child's head, as opposed to when the stick is being a sword which is more likely to cause an actual injury.

My DH is a primary school teacher and one of the kids brought a realistic loooking ball bearing gun into school and held it to another kid's head! His parents had encouraged his interest as being about history! I try to discourage even pretend shooting unless at a circular target or similar.

HollyBayTree · 26/03/2018 16:41

Are they playing 'guns' or soldiers? It's just another form of role play.

punicorn · 26/03/2018 16:42

I was never 100% comfortable with my DS playing with toy guns when he was growing up. I never actually bought him his own toy gun, but he wasn't actively not allowed to play with them. I do recall two boys in my street when I was growing up - one was allowed to play with guns, the other was definitely not allowed and his mum made a big deal of it. This lad grew up and joined the RAF and the other lad (who did play with guns) is now a music teacher. Go figure...

BevBrook · 26/03/2018 16:44

I got the We Don't Play With Guns book out of the library but I had to take it back before I got a chance to read it so I can't give you any of the arguments! apart from that in some nurseries and schools many children's parents are in the military and banning them from playing with guns is like saying your parents do bad things.

When I was little I wasn't even allowed a light sabre as that was a weapon, whereas my two boys (7 and 10) have got light sabres and Nerf guns aplenty, as well as a soldier dressup kit and an "adventure kit" which is a bit military with camo tarp etc. We do live in a military town so we are surrounded by soldiers. However I also feel that some young children are exposed to material that is too old for them in the form of video games especially and that can come out in their gun play. I would prefer to play alongside, and channel the Nerf gun play into target practice etc.

roboticmom · 26/03/2018 17:06

The kids in my neighbourhood have massive nerf battles and everyone is having nerf battle birthday parties. I really don’t think it is more than tag with more equipment. Try taking part and see how fun it is!

UtterlyDesperate · 26/03/2018 17:18

My aunt was massively (50yrs ago) against her son playing with guns, until he "shot" her with a banana... Like Frantic, I grew up with toy guns, and later, real ones. I have also managed (so far) not to commit any atrocities despite this lax upbringing Hmm

TheHungryDonkey · 26/03/2018 17:29

Nerf guns are annoying but are not going to turn a child into a school shooter. They’re more likely to take an eye out though. I hate them not because of gun violence but the foam bloody bullets that get get everywhere.

When mine was young I swore no gun toys. He just made a gun out
Of Lego and twigs instead. Toy guns are toy guns. School shooters are deeply disturbed individuals mainly in a country that I personally think is too lax with gun control.

lostjanni · 26/03/2018 17:44

I grew up with toy guns, i was in cadets and fired real guns at targerts and blank rounds at people. I trained in guns, got on the cadets shooting team, fired a amchine gun, assault rifle, and many a target rifle. You know what, haven't hit anyone since i was a kid. and certainly not shot somene / gone on a rampage killing everyone.

upsideup · 26/03/2018 17:45

I have never bought my kids nerf or bb guns, I havent banned them from playing with them but they have never so far seemed to have an interest in them.
I dont think it will turn them into a school shooters but guns arent toys its not something that should be fun and it encourages them to play agressively and take plessure out of possibly hurting each other.

mummmyj · 26/03/2018 20:01

Didn't like my DS playing with guns either when he was that young.. but my MIL told me to explain to him that they are not real , and not to point them directly at other children as you may hurt them etc also that only army and police carry guns for good reasons and everyone else who does is an idiot... seemed to work he very laid back kid and he still plays with them but knows the bad side of guns as he has seen on police programs, good luck 😃😃

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