To find these "jokes" pathetic?

[comfortmonitor]

Lost in the hospital trying to find a ward so i asked a man who worked there

me - excuse me do you know which way ward 40 is?

him - you've got the wrong hospital that's not here

me - ..... erm

him - HA! i'm only joking! this way..

Another example on my first day at a new job in a shop. Window cleaner comes in and asks to be paid.
I ask how much?
£25.
I go to ask manager and get another big laugh at how funny a joke he made and it's really £2

Wtf? It's only ever men that have done this to me and I really can't imagine them doing it to another man. Is it a power thing? It drives me mad!

I've just thought of something similar that's happened a few times. When they pass you something, say a note at a till, and they don't let go when you try to take it fucking hilarious

Yeah, I’ve noticed this from dudes as well

The last one (ex bil) who asked where I worked and did the whole ‘I’m sorry’? Like he’s misheard and when I repeated myself he’d say ‘no I heard you, I’m just sorry’ before punching me quite hard in the arm because it ‘was a joke ‘

Course social conditioning and the fact it was a funeral/wake made me stay quiet. I’m ready for the fucker next time though.

Recently in Waitrose I was searching for a product that I couldn't locate. The manager was nearby so I asked if it was available and he said with a deadpan expression, "No that's been discontinued" so I began to turn away saying oh well, never mind when suddenly he grinned like it was the most hilarious joke EVER and said, "Only kidding, it's in aisle 3!"

The younger me would have looked confused and headed off for aisle 3 - but instead I stared hatchet-faced at his "Mr X: Manager" badge and said "I think you need to go on a refresher course about how to treat your customers politely & respectfully because you seem to have forgotten."

Now that I'm in my 50s I don't take this shit any more.

I HATE this! I always feel so slow and stupid as I'm always wrong-footed. I don't mind a joke but when I'm just trying to ask a sensible question, I'm not really in the mood for fuckwitty 'banter'.

When I was in year five prehistoric times we went on a residential trip with school, and one of the kitchen workers at the centre (probably all of 20 years old, but an adult to me) told me to put my hand on a stack of trays, then dropped a load more on top. Then yelled that I'd been meant to move my hand (I didn't because again, wrong footed!). Fortunately I wasn't hurt, but that's the sort of twat that does this kind of thing.

So true that this happens more when a woman is on her own, although it is likely to still happen to two women/a group of women. It wouldn't happen to a woman who was with a man

It annoys me because when I'm on my own, I can often feel quite nervous. I have anxiety. So if I'm asking a simple, straight-forward question, I want a correct, polite reply.

Absolutely. Always followed by something like "smile, love" if you respond with the icy dead-eyed stare that these jokes deserve.

I've been goaded by men who think they are witty too.

Alone in a lift once with 2 men there was a huge ad of 3 women in underwear on the back of the lift doors so when the doors closed we were all stood there staring at it.
Man 1 says to me with a sneery smile: "I thought this sort of thing wasn't allowed any more?"

Man 2, also with sneery smile says: "We're the one being sexually harassed I think".

They thought they were so fucking clever & funny.

Its them enjoying exploiting their power over someone, you see it sometimes done to the "new work experience guy" as well. It's pretty sad really that the only kind of status they think they can get is over someone much weaker than them.

The thing is, I can kind of understand the "Is it raining?" "No someone is sprinkling the roof" kind of thing, where the answer is so unlikely it is obviously a joke (although when constant, only one way, and designed to belittle obviously it is not on).

It's the ones where the answer is just as likely to be right as wrong ("she's not here", "we don't stock that") - how is it a joke that the other person thinks it's true? It's just as likely to be true as not!

DH does this, although less so since I have pointed out how unfunny it is. I just don't get it at all. He will also think it is funny to pretend to get the wrong end of the stick in a conversation, especially online, which often ends with the other people thinking he is really stupid - I just don't see why it's funny to behave in a way that leads other people to think you are stupid and somehow that reflects badly on them and you have "won" in some way!

Taking a load of rubbish to the tip in my van. You need a permit and have to state on the permit what you have in the van (it was my nans old kitchen). I'd put everything on but forgot about the sink, and the guys says it's a £10 fine. I just kinda went quiet a bit because I had no money on me, then he goes "just joking" I almost split my sides from laughing /sarcasm/

I remember when I bought my first house I had verbally had my offer accepted and was asked to call to the estate agents office. When I arrived, someone else was leaving. I introduced myself he told me he had no idea who I was and that the house I was talking about had just been sold to someone else, at considerably more than my offer, and that the person who bought it was the one who had just left the office, having signed all the paperwork. I was young, had been outbid on countless properties and I was exhausted with it all. I just burst into tears.

And then he fell about laughing at his oh so hilarious 'joke'. It's over 20 years ago and I still can picture his smug face.

He did it on another friend too, shortly afterwards, also reducing her to tears. Funnily enough, he didn't do it to my male friends.

I hate this kind of 'humour'. I'm currently being assessed for ASC and I struggle with understanding when someone is joking or not. When things are said in a very deadpan way I never know how to react because I don't know how to take it and it makes me very anxious.

@BevBrook

before I joined MN I was on another chat board and it was very male dominated so there was a lot of that behaviour. There was an "ignore" button but eventually I realised I need to find another chat board!

Definitely a man thing.

Many years ago I worked on the railway. During my "apprenticeship" shadowing other staff, whenever a passenger arrived on the platform and asked "how long is the next train" they would always say "about 8 coaches". This "joke" never got stale, they chuckled or smiled smugly to themselves every single time.

treaclesoda OMG what a knob! That is awful.

Mojito 40 something me would fix him with a steely glare, not burst into tears.

Not "definitely a man" thing.
We do this at home.
I blame too much Father Ted watching and the sarcastic priest.

Eg "you took a while, was it busy out there?"
"No,we took a detour round Southern Yemen!"

My late great-grandfather had the phrase that I use in such situations: "if wit was shit, you'd be plastered from head to toe". I then turn and walk away. Seems to work quite well and I never get accused of a "sense of humour failure"

*Eg "you took a while, was it busy out there?"
"No,we took a detour round Southern Yemen!" *

Well that's the kind of response I would find funny -because obviously you didn't. It's the "You took a while?" "Yes, it was awful, a car crashed into ours, it's got scratches down the side now...ha ha ha no it hasn't I got you there!!" response I find cruel and stupid

I’ve heard these inane jokes repeatedly. I had never connected it but I definitely think each time it came from a middle aged man while I was on my own, usually in a position where they were meant to help me out (directions, in store etc). My dc1 went through a minor phase when beginning to tell thought out jokes and lies, lying and then saying ‘just joking’ (where’s your water bottle? In my bag! Just joking it’s on the table!) it was quickly made clear that tricking people, being mean or wasting time isn’t a nice joke!

With that said sometimes exaggerated sarcasm can be funny (like the Yemen joke). Or sometimes it’s not funny but it’s not cruel. My ex boyfriend would make regular jokes (where’s the dog? Him: Popped out for a cigarette I presume) which I never found funny particularly due to the repetition of the same joke - but it wasn’t cruel, just different humour.

Finding these infuriating. I just get the “cheer up, it might never happen” comments from bus drivers, people in the street etc. Making a “joke” when someone is visiting a hospital or adoption centre though, that’s a whole other level of knobendery.

Years ago I couldn’t find my daughter aged about 5 or so. I asked the NDN if he’d seen her and he said no. I was frantic. After a lifetime/ less than 5 minutes he said she was playing with his daughters in his house. I’ve always thought less of him for that.

My DH is like this, I can imagine him replying to the question 'Is it raining?' with 'No, someone is sprinkling water on the roof.' And in small doses I find it funny because he says it with such a deadpan face. He wouldn't do that in a work context when dealing with the public, it's just not appropriate.

I had a German work colleague who had a really crass sense of humour, though. He used to like to ask me after I'd been to the toilet, 'Have you had a successful download?' And thought he was funny. Hmm.